#I have never in my life thought this much about napkins before
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Can you tell us your hyper-specific RFA wedding headcanons? Specifically the one about napkins, I am sososo curious
Yes, I can; thanks for asking! RFA wedding napkin preference headcanons under the cut!
Zen doesnât really care about what kind of napkins the two of you have at your weddingâ heâs much more concerned with big-picture things like the rings, the vows, the ceremony, and the first dance, not to mention securing venues and vendors, etc. He probably wonât come into the planning process with any strong opinions about the napkins, and if you tell him that you want something specific, heâll defer to you on this matter. However, if you also donât really care about napkins, and you ask him to take matters into his own hands? His priority would be to create something memorable to make you smile. I think heâd google search âromantic napkin folding,â which (at least from my experience) would yield a lot of tutorials on how to fold pink and red cloth napkins into a heart shape. I donât think either one of you is interested in spending the afternoon before your wedding folding napkins, though, so Iâm sure heâd delegate this task to someone else and take you to the spa instead. That being said, he would absolutely go out of his way to fold your napkin (even if that means scheduling some extra time to swing by the reception venue on his literal wedding day while youâre busy getting ready) and of course heâd be sure to unfold it on your lap once the two of you are seated.
Yoosung has a lot of very specific fantasies about lot of different things (if some of the phone calls on his route are anything to go on) I think he probably has a lot of ideas for his weddingâ some of them, he came up with before he even met you, and some of them really solidified as the two of you started planning for the big day in earnest. He wants cream-colored cloth napkins in a pocket fold (exactly what it sounds like; the napkin is folded so that itâs shaped like a pocket) with cute little cards in themâ each guest would receive a personalized message from the both of you thanking them for coming to the wedding. Itâs a very sweet touch, and it gives the two of you an opportunity to sit down together and think about how grateful you are for all the people you have in your life. He might get a little emotional ordering the cards and seeing your names written together on them for the first time. I think heâd invite the whole RFA to come over and fold the napkins the day before the wedding, but since the little notes are a surprise for your guests, the two of you might have to put together place settings later on your own. Of course, he has a special note for you, and you have a special note for him, but those will stay secret until youâre sitting down for dinner for the first time as a married couple.
Jaehee knows a lot about napkinsâ and so do you! By the time the two of you get married, youâve been running a coffee shop together for a WHILE. In fact, youâve already had a conversation like this before when you decided what kind of napkins to purchase for the shop. Both of you are intimately familiar with the best kinds of paper napkins, what you can get in bulk, and even how many your guests might use over the course of your event, which would take a lot of guesswork out of the equation and free up more time for other parts of the planning process. You may even be able to get a discount with vendors that you know and trust, especially if you have a good relationship with them already. Of course, industrial napkins donât necessarily look very nice, but Jaehee has a plan for that! Sheâll order custom napkin dispensers (like the ones they have in restaurants) displaying your engagement photo as a special surprise! Sheâs already thinking about all the places she could put them after the weddingâ maybe it might even be cute to get photo-display napkin holders for the coffee shop! Even if you end up wanting cloth napkins in the wedding colors or something along those lines, I think the restaurant-style dispensers are a really personal nod to the business the two of you run together.
Jumin has probably never used a paper napkin in his life, and heâs not about to start at his weddingâ especially since itâs likely to be a very tasteful event all around. He would opt for a fan fold, where the napkin is folded over several times and placed into an empty wine glass/water goblet. It would look elegant and draw attention to the glasses, which Iâm sure would be very high quality and pretty to look at. I think he would probably leave the folding to a professional, because neither one of you needs any more stress in the days before what I can only imagine would be a very high-profile wedding. As far as the designs on the napkins go, I think they would probably be custom-made and embroidered with the silhouette of a cat alongside a motif thatâs important to you in gold and/or silverâ the color scheme would probably depend on what you prefer, as it would have to be coordinated with the wedding colors/your outfit and jewelry. I think it would be very important to Jumin that the wedding decor reflects both of your personalities while still being very luxurious. The two of you will also probably be sure to have the napkins washed and returned to you after the wedding so that you can use them for special occasions as you build your life together.
Saeyoung has a strong preference for paper napkins for a lot of reasons. First of all, the two of you are probably planning to have a cotton candy machine, a chocolate fountain, and fifteen other food stations with a wide variety of dishes of varying messiness, and the reception is most likely to be a very dynamic environment with a lot of dancing and other fun activities. People will be on the move and might lose track of their napkins and need a replacement, or they might need to use more than one napkin at a time. Plus, it would be easier to find paper napkins with fun prints like cats dancing in space, math equations, and/or whatever patterns you happen to be into at the moment. You two have such a playful relationship, and this would be one very simple way to incorporate that playfulness into your wedding decor, which I think would be eclectic all around. Maybe there would be different napkin prints at every food station or every table! All that being said, the environment is very important to both of you, so the napkins you choose would be compostable and recycled (as would any other paper goods you use for food packaging), and there would be clearly-labeled places to dispose of them near every garbage can. And once he learns that biodegradable spaceship napkins exist, Saeyoung will make sure that there are never boring, plain napkins in the bunker again!
V may be an artist, but I donât think he would put very much importance on the aesthetics of your wedding napkins. While I do think he would favor cloth over paper for simplicity and appearance, I think the deciding factor would ultimately be that he sees folding napkins by hand as much more personal than simply ordering paper napkins in bulk. Itâs an opportunity to spend time alone with you the day before the wedding, going through a calming and repetitive motion while you reflect on the years youâve been together and touch base about your feelings going into the marriage. I think heâd like something simple like a triangle fold, especially because it would be easy for the two of you to have a conversation and relax together while youâre folding. If you have your heart set on another way to fold them, heâd be open to it, because whatâs most important to him is getting to spend that quality time together before the hectic last-minute stage of wedding planning. The color scheme would be highly dependent on your tastes, but I think he would prefer a solid color to a pattern or print. As heâs putting his napkin in his lap at the reception, heâll smile a little at the memory of folding them with you.
GE Saeran sees nearly every moment as an opportunity to share his love and gratitude, and it goes without saying that he would keep this mindset at your wedding. Heâd be open to a variety of ideas, and obviously if you have a strong preference for a certain type of napkin, he would hear you out. But if left to his own devices? Heâd choose something simple but meaningful, like a plain white cloth napkin, rolled. Instead of a napkin ring, I think heâd want to use a ribbon in your favorite color with a lily of the valley tucked into it. Thatâs right, even the napkins would be deeply meaningful, and both of you would probably get a little emotional just talking about them, let alone actually seeing them in front of you on your wedding day. If the reception is small and intimate enough, he might even use flowers from his own garden, though if youâre expecting a lot of guests, he would need to enlist the florist (who heâs had on speed dial since the moment the contract was signed). Heâd probably plan to put everything together by himself, but obviously the moment you see him taking out spools of ribbon, unfolded napkins, and bushels of flowers, youâll ask if you can help him, and the two of you will make an afternoon of it. Because the flowers are fresh, this would likely need to be done day-of, but thatâs fine: Saeran doesnât really care that it might violate tradition for y'all to see each other on your wedding day, especially since as far as heâs concerned, the two of you have been married in your hearts since the day you left Magenta.
#these have been haunting me for days now#I have never in my life thought this much about napkins before#Like who just goes around thinking about napkins#Me apparently#mystic messenger#mystic messenger headcanon
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Down Home 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: The world's most famous heroes walk into a small town diner and change your life.
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers
Note: Because of this.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3
Love you all to Jupiter and back. Take care. đ
Itâs a slow day. Every day is slow out in Tumble Down. The townshipâs name tells the whole story. Everything there is in decline. Itâs hard to imagine there was ever a time when the people werenât tiny and forgotten in the hubbub of the bigger world. Since the mines closed and the canning factory was outsourced, it feels even smaller.
Smaller isnât so bad. Itâs simpler. You all know each otherâs names and faces. You say hi and how are you and do what needs to be done. Simple is, simple as.
You here there isnât much to do in most small towns. Not for fun or for work. Youâre one of the lucky ones. You got a job down at the diner in your sophomore year. It helped pay for your daddyâs new engine and since then, it keeps you all afloat in the rising waters of disparity as they close in on Tumble Down.
You hum to the old radio that sits on the shelf you make sure to dust. The speakers crackle from time to time and the signal gets wonky in storm season, but the musicâs never bad. Itâs the classic stuff that always played in your motherâs kitchen.
You wipe down another table. Not because it needs it, just because itâs something to do. The day has been long and listless. Even the breakfast rush was lower than usual.
Darnell, the cook, whistles along from the back. Everyone knows he isnât as mean as he looks. He just likes his space.
As you go back to the counter and lean on it, staring at the ticking clock, a roar cuts through the distance. You blink and look up, narrowing your eyes at the dusty country road outside. Wind rustles through the tall wheat in the field opposite and the noise rumbles closer and closer.
A man pulls in a motorbike. Heâs going so fast that he has to circle the gravel lot before he can slow down. Itâs not Lenny and his prized Harley but another man on a more modern-looking mount. Not far behind, another motorcycle zips through and the riders straddle their bikes as the survey the restaurant.
You narrow your eyes. You probably need glasses but you make do. The last time you got your eyes checked, you didnât have enough for the frames.
The one man wears blue and red, an odd helmet on his head. Not a helmet at all but a sort of mask. The other man has dark hair to his chin and a beard to match. Heâs all in black but his left arm shines with gold ripples. Not a sleeve, an arm, made of metal.
âOh my lord,â you murmur in shock, âDarnell!â You holler over your shoulder, âyouâre not gonna believe this.â You turn to the window as he pokes his head around, ânot sure I do myself. Tell me my eyes arenât lyinâ.â
He looks above your head, an easy task for the mammoth cook. He hums and swirls around his spatula. âThems those boys on the news. The one that was in the old war. Grandadâs battle.â
âIâm not going crazy with boredom?â You bubble.
He snorts. Itâs as close to a laugh as you get from him. You spin back and hurry around the counter to grab a pair of menus. Still, you donât want to seem too eager. You put down the menus and fiddle with a napkin holder instead.
The bell over the door jingles and swipe up the menus and turn. You really canât believe itâs them. Yet, as Captain America removes his cowl, youâre certain. They look just like they do on the TV. Even with your sight, you can tell.
âHello, fellas, how are you doinâ today?â
The dark-haired one, the Winter Soldier, glances at the other, his cheek dimpling, âwell... weâre... uh...â
âWeâre doing great,â Steve Rogers answers brightly. âStarving. You guys serve bacon? My buddyâs dying for some.â
âUm, yes, sirs, yes. Can I sit ya down?â You ask, hugging the menus closer.
âPlease,â the Captain accepts as the other man stays silent and pensive, his eyes wandering down to the coffee stain on your apron.
âJust here,â you sweep away and wave them on with you. You stop beside the nicest booth and lay down a menu on each side, âhave a seat.â
They do just as you bid. The blond puts his cowl on the table and unhooks the shield from his back to lay on the far end of the seat. He smooths back the sweaty strands of hair as his companion stretches his metal fingers. You sway nervously by the table, twitching as you remind yourself how to do your job.
âWell, can I get ya started with coffee? You look beat from the road.â You beam with the smile Mr. Welk says could outshine the sun.
âNot just the road,â the dark-haired one mutters as he rolls his shoulder. The one that connects to his real arm. âIâll take one, please.â
âCan I get an orange juice, please,â the Captain asks.
âCourse ya can. Iâll be right back. You have a look at the specials and give it a think,â you bounce and spin around.
You go to pour the orange juice and a cup of black coffee. Darnell lingers by the window. He only ever really appears to put a plate up but he watches the new arrivals.
You bring their drinks and step back, clasping your hands behind you.
âDid ya need cream or sugar for your coffee, sir?â You ask.
âBlackâs fine,â he assures.
âNo need for the sirs. Steve, Bucky,â Captain America insists, âweâre off duty.â
âRight, sorry about that, ssss...Steve,â you correct yourself. âYou need some more time?â
âThink Iâm decided,â Bucky intones, âwhat about you?â
âSet,â Steve confirms, âIâll have the sunny side up with toast and sausage. Can I get some fruit on the side as well, please?â
He hands over the menu and you take it as you hold your smile. Your cheeks ache. Not because you have to force it but because you canât stop. This is the most exciting thing to happen in Tumble Down ever. If Darnell wasnât there, no one would believe you.
âOvereasy, bacon, extra bacon too, and some french toast, and uh... home fries.â Bucky offers up the second menu, âplease and thank you.â
âAlrighty,â you preen, âIâll put your order in.â
âGot it,â Darnell growls over the empty diner.
âHeâs got good hearing,â you giggle nervously as you look between the men. âUmmmm, sorry, Iâll leave ya be.â
âYouâre not bothering,â Steve assures. âI can see youâre dying to ask.â
He gives a gentle smile.
âNah, oh, gosh. Iâm sure ya get it all the time. I donât wanna be one of those,â you put your hands up. âReally, you all look like you could use the peace and quiet.â
âWell, actually, Iâve been stuck with this meathead for days,â Bucky scoffs, âso please, Iâd love to hear someone elseâs voice.â
You laugh again. Theyâre funnier than you expect. They always look so serious on the TV.
âWhat... what are yâall doing here in Tumble Down? Itâs a bit far from... anywhere.â You ask sheepishly.
âTumble Down? Is that what itâs called?â Steve scratches his neck above his stained collar. âWell, we couldnât get a signal so weâve just been riding through. Saw the sign down the way and figured weâd get a bite.â
âHeâs lying. He was falling asleep on his bike,â Bucky teases.
âSure,�� Steve shakes his head. âOnly âcause Iâm tired of you.â
You giggle again, âI thought yâall were friends.â
âFriends, partners, cursed with each other, have your pick,â Bucky snorts.
âHeâs playing,â Steve says. âLook, weâre boring. Despite what you think. Weâre a couple of old men bickering with each other. What about you? What about Tumble Down?â
âAh, nothing really, sir. Steve,â you squeeze the menus tight at the edges. âNothing going on since the coal law and that. Everyoneâs all but run out. All but us.â
âJust you? Your family?â Steve wonders.
âJesus, Steve, nosy much?â Bucky says over the brim of his mug.
âSorry. Heâs right. Like I said. Crotchety old man. I talk to the pigeons.â
You laugh again, âoh my, you are a hoot!â You slap your thigh emphatically, âIâm still my ma and pa. Itâs just the three of us. They need help with the animals and that.â
âAnimals?â Steve wonders, his posture shifting towards you.
âChickens, cows. They got a farm. Was my grandpaâs. And his ma kept it going after he didnât come home from... well, youâd know more about that time than me, I think.â You give a forlorn look to the floor.
âOh, Iâm so sorry about your grandfather. Great grandfather,â he corrects himself.
âLotta good men gone,â Bucky mulls grimly.
âYeah, my great granny said as much. I wouldnât know though, but I heard the stories,â you dare to look at them again. âSorry to bring up the bad memories.â
âNah,â Bucky waves you off casually. âI got this nifty arm outta it.â
âAnd I got a shield so, you know, not all losses,â Steve chuckles.
âI sâpose,â you agree. âIâm gonna check on that food for ya. You good with your coffee?â
Bucky raises the mug, âdelicious.â
You nod and turn with a swish of your skirt. You go up to the window and look over the ledge. âHowâs it going, Darnell?â
âGoing. Iâm happy it ainât Raylene here. Sheâs got a mouth on her, donât she? Them sort donât deserve that trouble,â he tisks.
âTheyâre nice. And Raylene is too. Sheâs just... Raylene,â you say, âcan I help with anything?â
âI donât wanna be rude but Iâm tired of tellinâ ya to stay outta my kitchen. You know the grill likes to spit,â he shakes his head. âYou go, Iâll let ya know when itâs ready.â
âAlright,â you back away and turn back.
Steve and Bucky lean over the table, their voices low as they chat. As you move around behind the counter, they both sit up and the former clears his throat. You smile as you take the cloth from your apron pocket and wipe the already clean counter.
As the radio buzzes, you hum without thinking. Stevie Ray Vaughanâs smoky voice mingles with the emotion plucked through electric strings. Your dadâs a big fan. He has old tapes with concerts on them and even went to one himself.
The bell rings and you nearly jump out of your shoes. You turn and scoop up the plates as you thank Darnell. He grumbles that heâs going out to have a smoke; his code for having a Tootsie Pop by the backdoor.
You bring the meals over to the table and set them down before the men. Their gazes make you sweat. Itâs all a little more intense with no one else there.
âThank you,â Steve says and Bucky echoes him.
âNot at all. Anything else? Water? Ketchup?â
âIt all looks great as is,â Steve says, âyou got a nice voice.â
âOh, really? Ha, I was just humming out of tune. Sorry if I was too loud.â
âNot at all,â Bucky picks up his fork as he leans forward. He tilts his head. âYou know this one?â
âSure do. Itâs Fleetwood Mac,â you answer. âOne my all times.â
He grins and nods as he looks at Steve. Steve watches you with a smile of his own.
âDo you sing?â He asks.
âMe? Only in my shower or to the chickens. They usually hide in the henhouse then.â You tinkle with laughter.
âAh,â Steve nods.
âBut if... if ya really wanna suffer, I could try it,â you smile, âbut uh, you know, Stevie Nicks, sheâs one of a kind.â
âIâve had worse,â Steve says.
You look between him and Bucky. You chew your lip and think. You follow the song as you try to recognise which verse it is. You squint and perk up as you catch your place.
âYou just let me know when youâve had enough,â you say before you start. Not only can you tell your pa that you met the super soldiers, you can tell him you sang for them. Itâll be a nice bit of excitement for the dinner table.
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!steve rogers#dark!bucky barnes#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#marvel#mcu#captain america#down home#winter soldier#avengers
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where angels fear to tread
pairing: jaehyun x (f) reader
genre/warnings: fwb to lovers, fluff, implied smut, angst
summary: Three years ago, you had a summer fling with Jung Jaehyun, and what was simply sex turned into more after you caught feelings for him. Then, you find out he has a girlfriend, and decide to call it quits. Three years later, he's back in town, trying to come back in your life, and most importantly trying to come back into your heart, but you're a little hesitant to let him.
word count: 14.5k
a/n: i think this was my first jaehyun fic? LOL⌠as always, feedback is appreciated!
âNot fair.â
âItâs very much fair, Jaemin.â
âHow come the blueberry head gives you shit on the house? I asked him for a free coffee and he told me the only way I was getting coffee for free was if he splashed it on my face. Very unprofessional. I demand the manager.â
You want to tell him that the manager would just suck up to Taeyong in private because the customer is always wrong, ďżźbut something in you tells you to be quiet.
âSaved his life,â you shrug, digging a fork into your pie.
âSaved his life?â Jaemin repeats, wide-eyed, âyou just said that like it was the most normal thing ever.â
âI donât think he would have actually died,â you mutter, but decide to tell the tale anyway, âYou remember when I told you I was taking a two-week vacation out of town because Yeri invited me and some of her friends to her stepdadâs beach house?â Jaemin nods, âWell Taeyong was one of those friends. Saved him from drowning in the pool, and ever since he thinks he owes me his life, so he gives me a lifetime worth of stuff on the house.â
You consider Jaemin your best friend, although him not physically being with you for the past two years was the reason why heâs unaware of some minor details of your life during those years. Of course, he knew about the vacationâyou had so much fun that you told him nearly every damn detail of itâbut there was still some things you kept to yourself. Such as how you saved Taeyong from drowning. You thought that youâd look like a praise-seeker for bringing that up anyway.
You scan the room for Taeyong (the blueberry head) and once your eyes find him, you wave and wink. He waves back and smiles bashfully, before tending to one of his customers. You also think that Taeyong might have a little crush on you, but thatâs not relevant at the moment.
âOh wow. I guess not all heroes wear capes. Some heroes wear pie crumbs on their mouths.â
You wipe the corner of your mouth with a napkin then squeeze it into a ball to throw at Jaemin, making him gasp dramatically and start rambling about how you shouldnât treat the best friend you havenât seen in two years like this, but the chime of the cafe door distracts you. Your face falls in horror, and youâre still as a statue as it all races back. The pain, the memories, the emotions, everything you gave him that you canât take back.
âI have to go,â you say, but Jaemin grabs your wrist.
His voice is filled to the brim with concern, âWhatâs wrong?â
Where you do even start? You sigh, ducking your head on the table in an attempt to cover your face the best that you can. The past is intertwining with the present and you do not enjoy it one bit. Fortunately, he sits away from you and doesnât seem to acknowledge your presence in the room, but itâs just your luck that for the first time youâre seeing him in almost two years, he chooses to show up right here, right now.
âSee that guy that just walked in?â
Jaemin nods with reluctance, subtly scanning said guy with his eyes, âYeah, what about him?â
With a deep breath, you brace yourself for uncovering a part of your past that youâd rather keep ancient history, âRemember that fling I told you about from the vacation? That was him. And I never told you this, but we didnât exactly end on the best of terms. I called it quits when I found out that he had a girlfriend.â
Another one of the vay-cay details that you kept to yourself. Technically, you did tell him about the fling, but it was nothing too specific aside from the fact that you were getting dicked down. You never told him about the way things abruptly ended, and you sure as hell never told him that you caught feelings for a cheater.
Jaeminâs face falls, and youâre not sure why. You think that heâs offended because you never told him about something so huge (and he is, but the two of you have bigger fish to fry at the moment so he decides it best to complain later).
Eyebrows furrowed, you ask, âWhatâs wrong?â
âJaehyun isâŚâ he pauses, and your lips part to ask how he knows his name until, âJaehyun is my roommate.â
If you had the energy, you would sigh. Of course, Jaehyun also happens to move back in town and ultimately transfer back into your college for the second semester. You had to be a criminal in your past life, what else could you have possibly done to deserve something like this?
Taeyong walks over to your table, wearing a discontent frown, âJaehyunâs here, do you want me to distract him so that you can leave without him noticing?â
âNo way the blueberry head knew about this before me.â Ah, there it goes.
Taeyong glares, but he doesnât say anything, instead locking his eyes on you to catch your response and his face softens when he does.
âPlease,â you sigh in relief, âThanks Tae, youâre a lifesaver.â
Taeyong smiles at the weight of your words, âItâs the least I could do. Now you two get out of here.â
It isnât something that you need to be told twice, Taeyong goes to distract Jaehyun and you two bolt the fuck out of there. Though even out of sight, Jaehyun isnât out of mind. In the beginning you knew it was nothing serious, Jaehyun had other girls that he fucked. But the fact that he was cheating on some poor, innocent girl was more then you could handle, and it would be selfish of you to risk getting caught up in that mess.
For a while, you and Jaemin ride in near silence. Itâs your car, but he claims you arenât in the right headspace to drive and you didnât argue. You donât feel the best at the moment.
âIs this a bad time to invite you to my roommateâs Summer Break Kick-off party this Friday,â Jaemin asks over the radio, his voice cutting through the SHINee song playing lowly.
âKinda,â you snort. âIs he coming?â
âProbably, yeah. I mean, he was invited. But my roommateâs other house is pretty big itâs been forever since we last partied.â
You blink. Why does your roommateâŚ
âDonât question it. I donât know either.â
You fight the urge to laugh. Instead, you weigh out the pros and cons. Technically, you and Jaemin could always find another place to party if you wanted to so bad, and even if the house was big, thereâs still a fair chance of you running into the one man you dread ever seeing again. You arenât too sure if thatâs something that youâre ready to risk right now.
You sigh again, pressing your face against the car window. âIâll think about it.â
You havenât stepped foot in a place this expensive-looking since Yeri invited you on that little summer vacation to her stepdadâs beach house (two years ago.)
Jaemin somehow managed to convince you to show up by pinky promising to do a weekâs worth of your assignments next semester, and youâd be a fool for turning that offer down. It isnât clear from the outside, but academically Jaemin is sharp. So now, youâre searching for Jaemin in a sea full of red plastic cups. He was right, the house is humongous, and now youâre really beginning to question why someone with this kind of fortune at their fingertips lives with three presumably broke college students.
At least theyâre playing SHINee. That way you can sing along to your favorite boy band while you simultaneously search for your best friend.
It might be harder for him to spot you. You chose to wear something dull, deciding against standing out too much just in case Jaehyun wanted confrontation, so looking for you is like searching for a needle in a haystack. You two could have just spent the night karaoking with Jaemin in your living room just like the good âole days, for heavens sake.
Na Jaemin, when I find you, you groan. He doesnât answer your calls or texts, and just for this you should make him do your homework for two weeks. Three if you bump into Jaehyun. You stop at an empty spot to catch your breath.
âGod, what are these guysâ parents? The CEOâs of Samsung?â you mutter, to yourself.
âAw, so close.â
Not expecting an actual answer, you jump and turn in the direction of the voice. You find a tall, handsome man smiling at you. His teeth are so white that it looks like he eats Colgate for breakfast.
âKai, Iâm the host of the party,â he grins, yet then his expression falters, âdo I know you from somewhere?â
âI was thinking the same thing!â You laugh, analyzing his face. He does look a bit familiar.
You tell him your name, and the way he repeats it once more then blinks a few times concerns you a little. Itâs not that you have a bad reputation, but did he know you from something bad?
His eyes widen. âYouâre Johnnyâs ex-girlfriend.â
That, you are. Back in high school you and Johnny dated for some time, broke up after a while since you drifted apart from one another, but agreed to stay friends so youâre both cool. Youâre relieved thatâs all, but you still donât remember where you know Kai from, and youâre almost one-hundred percent sure it isnât high school. You donât even think you went two to the same high school.
âThatâs me,â you confirm with a nod, âI still donât know where I remember you from, though.â
If this were a cartoon, Kai would have a thought bubble above his head, and moments later it would transform into a lightbulb, âAre you friendâs with Yeri?â he guesses, and you nod, âsheâs my step-sister. She probably told you about me.â
Oh. Well now the dots are connecting. Yeri did in fact tell you about him, mentioning that his family is the one her mom married into when explaining how filthily rich she becameâbecause her brand new step-dad is indeed a CEO.
You make an O with your mouth, âSmall world.â
âI know, right?â Kai, or as you know him from Yeri (also why you didnât recognize him immediately), Jongin, laughs, âCare to dance?â
At that, you frown, âIâd love to, but I should really find Jaemin. Heâs my best friend and weâre supposed to be spending time together because he just moved back in town recently.â
Kai looks a little sad by the rejection but handles it well, nodding in understanding, âGood luck. Last time I saw him he was over there,â he points, âlosing a drinking game.â
That could mean nothing good. That meant wherever he was, Jaemin was more than likely going to be shitfaced by the end of the night. You sigh internally, almost wishing heâd go back to being the shy and introverted boy you knew in high school.
You met Jaemin in your sophomore year, at a party his friends forced him to go to, and you had a couple of mutual friends, but until then you two were nothing more than strangers. Speaking of which, thatâs how you bonded, even though it was a fight getting him to say more than five words at a time. You were sure your friends Sicheng and Yuta had a thing for each other, whereas he hadnât suspected a thing. So you made a bet, and only a couple minutes later, they were found making out against a wall. He owed you 50 bucks.
When Jaemin is still no where to be find, youâre ready to cave in to defeat. You feel like youâre in a maze, walking around in circles and it shows in the ache in your feet. Youâre about to give up and turn around, until you walk into something, or someone, and all audible to you is the sound of splashing before someone yells shit, Iâm sorry!
Oh, youâll make sure theyâre sorry. Youâre not sure what you should focus on. How your top is now soaked, or how familiar their voice is. Until you look back up and see a walking, breathing and unfortunately talking, nightmare.
He calls out your name.
Like before, you turn and walk away.
He says it again, louder, and follows you.
âI donât want to talk to you, Jaehyun.â
Still, he tails behind you like a lost puppy, despite you obviously trying to stay far, far away, âCanât you hear me out? Itâs been two years.â
âTwo very peaceful years,â you stop dead in your tracks and finally turn to face him. It hurts you to look at his face, because the memories wash over you like waves, yet you do it anyways. You want to show him that youâre strong without him, not weakness and vulnerability, âand I told you two years ago that I want nothing to do with you.â
Jaehyunâs no good for you, you know that. You know that all heâs ever wanted to do is get inside your pants, that heâs never cared for you. So why are you tempted to hear him out?
No, you refuse, you will not let nostalgia win you over. Thatâs all it is. You miss what you had, but you donât know if you miss him as a person.
âAt least let me help you dry your shirt, itâs my fault that itâs ruined,â he tries again, but youâre hell-bent on making him feel as miserable as he did you.
âNo.â
âY/nââ
âNo means no, Jaehyun,â another voice cuts in, and while it isnât the one youâve been looking for, youâre thankful nonetheless. Beside you stands Kai, tall, angry, and intimidating, âyou gonna make her tell you to fuck off?â
Jaehyun glances at you, and you see the emotion in his eyes, but you donât fall for them. Not anymore. Heâs already caused your heart to feel enough pain that you canât bother to try and carry the burden that is his own. So he gives up and walks off, finally leaving you alone.
And you let out an exhausted breath.
âShowâs over, mind your business,â Kai tells the audience you hadnât even known formed, and not willing to risk going against him, everyone returns to their previous activity. He looks at you, and all the anger is washed with concern. âYou okay?â
Are you okay? You donât know anymore. Nostalgia is kicking your ass, and though you try not to think about him, you canât help but reminisce.
âYeah,â you say, but youâre not too sure. âThanks. A lot.â
Kai shrugs, âNo biggie. Do you think you and Yeri match sizes? You can use the bathroom in my bedroom to change because no oneâs dumb enough to go in there.â
You sigh in relief. Chivalry isnât dead. âYes. Thank you.â
Kai leads you upstairs to Yeriâs room, or at least the one she stays in when sheâs here, and letâs you choose a shirt. It isnât an easy decision with Yeri being the epitome of fashion, but you pick quickly to spare Kaiâs time, even though he tells you that he doesnât mind. He then takes you to the bathroom in his room because according to him, Yeriâs one is under repair.
Even though Kai is guarding the door with his life and you know he wouldnât just barge in there without your say-so, you lock the door. You meet your gaze in the mirror, eyeing yourself closely. Everyone is insecure sometimes, but after things ended between you and Jaehyun, you were extremely self-conscious for months.
To anyone who had never been in your shoes, it mightâve made more sense than anything for you to feel better about yourself knowing that even though Jaehyun had a girl, he kept coming back to you. Yet whoâs to say you were the only one? To this day, youâre still convinced that the only reason he keeps trying to win you back is because him losing you plus you being the one to end it put a major dent in his ego.
You hate that he had that kind of power over you, to the point where he made you hate yourself. You hate that a man like him made you cry so many goddamn tears and now he expects you to dry his own.
Reminding yourself that Kai is waiting, you tear your gaze from your own before tears have the chance to spill, and wipe yourself dry so that you can put on your - or Yeriâs - shirt. Now that you think about it, itâs too cute to return. You might take it. Sheâs too rich to notice, and even if she does, sheâs still rich. She can easily replace it.
Kai greets you with a smile as you step back inside his room, and you find yourself smiling back at him. Heâs been treating you so kindly this whole time, and now that you think about it, youâve never heard a single bad thing about the man. Yeri clearly doesnât mention him very often, but itâs never been anything bad when she does, and even when Jaemin was telling you about his roommates, he described Kai as âthe funny one that called his mom a lot.â
âReady to join the party?â
And then you frown. âI donât know.â
Kai quirks a brow, âWell donât tell me you look this good just to not show yourself off.â
Amused, you scoff. Kaiâs been smooth from the beginning, yet now heâs unabashedly flirting with you. âAre you flirting with me, Kim Jongin?â
Confusion spells itself out on his face. You have never once said his name tonight, and the one time you do, itâs his government. âHow do you know my name?â
âYeri,â you shrug, âbut if you want me to just call you Kai then I understand.â
âWell, usually I reserve my real name for my close friends and family,â he grins, and God he looks devilishly handsome when he does, âbut it sounds so nice on your tongue that Iâll make an exception.â
Itâs painfully obvious that you donât know how to react, eyes a little round and your lips parting, yet nothing coming from in between. It makes Jongin laugh.
âAnd yes, I was flirting with you,â he winks, âbut anyways, if you really donât wanna go back out there, which is totally fine, we can just chill in here. You seem like a nice person, and Iâd like to get to know you.â
âGet to know me?â You quip, finding enough balance to play into his game after being knocked down by his charm briefly, âor my body?â
He arches a brow in amusement. âThat feels like a trick question.â
You shrug. âBe honest. I might feel the same way.â
Maybe itâs a good thing that tonight didnât go as planned. Kaiâs had you since the moment he introduced himself, and it seems every five minutes he gets better.
âWell, I donât see why I canât multitask,â He purrs, taking your words as an invitation. An invitation that he was accepting.
You giggle. He eyes you gently, noticing the way you slowly inch closer to him, âI like you.â
Itâs an initiation, turning the keys and putting the car in drive, and you want to see if Jongin will take the wheel. And it seems that to your fortune, he does.
âGuess itâs a good thing I like you, too.â Jongin chuckles, and heâs so close. You can feel his breath on your skin, tickling your neck, and it makes something in you crawl with arousal.
And the gap between you closes.
You already liked Kai last night, but you definitely like him this morning.
You woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, and not just any kind of pancakes, but chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite. If anything can make you like someone, itâs chocolate chip pancakes.
âHowâd you know chocolate chip was my fave?â you giggle, not expecting a serious response, but after the whole scenario with him yesterday, you should have already known he would have one.
âYerimâs told me about you, too, you know,â Jongin replies, âIt wasnât even too long ago, it was winter break. We were all staying at my dadâs house for a couple of days, and she invited you over one morning. Everyone was gone but me and her when I went downstairs, and I saw her making chocolate chip pancakes. It blew me, because sheâs an avid hater of chocolate. Then she told me they were for her best friend, because you love them, and after last night I learned that the best friend in question happened to be you.â
You and Jongin learned a lot about one another last evening. After you had sex, you didnât expect to hit it off like you did, yet you spent a great deal of the night talking on his silk sheets. For starters, heâs a wonderful man. Funny, polite, respectful, thoughtful, caring, and he has an amazing personality. The sole flaw you could find in him was that he likes Hawaiian pizza. What kind of sick person enjoys Hawaiian pizza?
And you fell asleep in his arms. It was perfect, almost too good to be true. You considered the possibility of a relationship with him, you enjoyed his company and he was shameless to admit that he enjoyed yours. And yet still, you couldnât help but think of Jaehyun.
The way he had also made you feel the same way, all those years ago. How he never fucked you and then shoved you away, but he talked to you until the sun came up, or spooned you to sleep. It was ridiculous, and you canât believe that one encounter with Jaehyun had you acting like a teenager in love for the first time again. Not to mention the encounter in question was horrible. Jaehyun isnât good for you, but for some reason your heart seems to still want him.
âIf you want know so bad, just ask.â
âWhat?â Kai blinks, unaware that youâve noticed the way he looks at you, not just now but ever since that encounter with Jaehyun. The longing in his eyes to say something, yet he resisted.
âI know youâre curious about me and Jaehyun,â truth be told, it isnât just for him, but for you. Maybe if you remind yourself of what Jaehyunâs done to you, hear it aloud, youâll snap out of it and shake this weird feeling. âSo go ahead. Ask.â
Jonginâs surprised at how well you read him, and you can only hope that he doesnât read you just as well.
âI figured you didnât want to talk about it, and I didnât want to overstep my boundaries.â How utterly Kai of him. And honestly, heâs right. You donât want to, but at this point itâs a need.
âItâs okay,â you assure.
âAre you sure?â
âPositive.â
âIf you donât want to talk about it, then thatâs okay, you know. I understaââ
âKim Jongin,â you say, and he pauses, a part of being because he still hasnât gotten used to you calling him by his government name, yet he loves it when you do, âI am not about to beg you to ask me. I promise you, itâs alright.â
Jongin hesitates, but gives in reluctantly, âOkay, so⌠what happened for Jaehyun to be so intent on talking to you last night? Break-up?â
âNot really,â you say, trying to keep your voice level and flat. You werenât the girl Jaehyun was in a relationship with, âIt wasnât a romantic relationship. Just sex, no strings attached.â
Jongin nods, âAh, so a fling?â
âMm-hm. I met him when Yeri invited her best friends to your dadâs beach house for a fun summer vacation during break. We hit it off well and it wasnât much longer that he had me in his sheets. It really was fun, so we agreed to keep fucking around. And then some months later, I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time.â
He makes an understanding face, familiar with Yeriâs Pal-Cations (as she likes to call them.)
âYerim didnât tell you he was dating someone?â
âNo one knew about us. He wanted to keep things secret,â you chuckle softly, âand thatâs when I found out why.â
Silence falls over Jongin, and you sit there and let him ponder. Being able to say it all like this makes it seem so simple, and perhaps it should be. Jaehyun fucked up, and you owe him nothing. If he broke up with his girlfriend, maybe things would have been different, but he didnât and thatâs why he should leave you alone.
âDo you think heâs changed?â You shouldnât ask. It doesnât matter what Kai thinks, he doesnât know Jaehyun like you do and he hasnât known him for nearly as long. His opinion doesnât matter.
Kai blinks. âI mean, you know what they say. Once a cheater, always a cheater.â
âBut Iâm asking for your opinion.â
Youâve never seen Kai so speechless. Heâs always had something on the tip of his tongue, always. Thatâs when you consider that youâre probably dumping a shit ton of unwarranted info on him, especially since you had to practically coerce him into even asking you about Jaehyun. Before you have the chance to apologize, he answers.
âI donât know him nearly as well as you probably do, but from what Iâve seen in the past 2 weeks, heâs nothing like some stupid, immature fuck boy. He carries himself well, cracks his jokes but heâs respectful and doesnât push his limits, and Iâve never seen him with a girl,â Jongin says. âCome to think of it, heâs single. The boys discussed our dating situations and relationship statuses just so that we wouldnât be surprised if we got up in the middle of the night and saw some stranger. Said he was single and wasnât looking for sex.â
And you sigh in defeat, because the only thing thatâs changed about Jaehyun according to that description is that heâs apparently single now and isnât looking for sex.
Or maybe he was some stupid, immature fuckboy. You donât know. And ever since you found out about her, you havenât been sure if youâve ever known him like you thought you did. You havenât been sure about anything.
âDo you want him back?â
The questions catchs you off-guard. It isnât exactly new, but youâve never had anyone ask you this other than yourself. Itâs all that you can think about. Do you really want him back? Or do you just miss what you had? What if itâs both?
âI donât know,â you answer. And trust, youâve been thinking about it since that whole ordeal at the cafĂŠ Monday. Even if you do, you shouldnât. You donât know Jaehyunâs motive, and there are plenty of other guys that can provide you everything he was giving you. One is literally looking you dead in the eye. Heâs replaceable, you tell yourself. You donât need him.
But that sure as hell has nothing to do with you wanting him.
âYou donât know?â Kai lifts his brow, âOr are you simply in denial?â
You feel like heâs your therapist, and the thought almost makes you laugh. Everything reminds you of Jaehyun. How sometimes, youâd play therapist for each other after you had sex, either directly afterwards or in the morning like now. It was so much more than sex, you think. To you, anyways. And thatâs likely how you caught feelings.
Oh, dear god.
Even after two years, maybe those feelings you had for him still linger.
âI realized something,â you really donât have to say anything, itâs written all over your face.
Jongin makes the conclusion, âYou want him.â
Slowly, you nod. You think that you shouldnât, but you do, and Jongin was right about you being in denial. You guess he really does read you just as well as you do him.
âIâm not gonna sit here and tell you what you should or shouldnât do because itâs your choice to make at the end of the day, but letâs take everything into account,â Jongin starts, voice sterner than itâs been all morning, âIâm not saying age is an excuse, but he was eighteen. All eighteen-year-old boys are stupid. Take it from someone whoâs been there. But heâs twenty-one now, and itâs been years. Thatâs plenty enough time for him to grow and change.â
You nod along. Thatâs true, and while you could never be too careful because whoâs to say heâs changed, whoâs to say he hasnât?
Kai adds, âIf you want to take the risk, take it. If you donât, then donât. He made an inexcusable mistake. But heâs human, and all humans make mistakes. You dont owe him anything, especially not forgiveness, but be a little open-minded.â
The decision is yours. You can hear Jaehyun out and try to salvage your relationship, or you can continue to shut him out. You donât owe him a second chance, but god, you must admit that youâve always secretly longed to give him one, just so that you could go back to what you had.
Whenever you contemplate giving him a second chance, you think about her. You try to put yourself in her shoes, wondering how she mustâve felt, if she ever knew that the man she loved was fucking around with another woman. Maybe thatâs how they broke up. Days ago, the thought would have made you run further and further away from him. But now, itâs almost like youâre rooted in place, bumping into dead-ends.
If you were her, youâd be unforgiving. But youâre not her, you never will be her, and that makes you want to be a little more selfish.
That makes you want him.
âThanks, Kai,â you say, truly grateful to have his unbiased opinion. Usually you wouldnât trust people you met less than twenty-four hours ago with your personal business, but all the shit you and Kai exchanged last night makes you willing to permit an exception. And then, you feel bad because even after the kind things heâs done for you since last night, heâs still sitting here advising you on your complicated you-problems. âAnd Iâm so sorry for dumping all my problems on you, youâve been so sweet and the least I could doââ
âHey, no worries. If you ever need to talk, Iâm here,â Kai interjects, âand if you want me to do a bit of snooping aroundâŚâ
You shake your head. âNo way. Youâve already done enough for me, and I donât want you to get caught up in my drama. I can handle it.â
âSure, you can. But I donât want a girl like you to wind up heartbroken, especially over a possible jackass, and at very least you should see if you can trust him before you, well, trust him,â As though he can sense you about to object, he adds, âNo buts. Iâm going to keep a few tabs on him and alert you if thereâs anything suspicious.â
You sigh, and donât argue because itâs obvious he isnât changing his mind. Youâre grateful.
You smile. âThank you.â
âOf course. And if he breaks your heart, Iâm here.â
You scoff, âFlirting with me again, Kim Jongin?â
âOh, baby,â he growls, âKeep saying my name like that and Iâll make you forget he ever existed.â
Ten minutes ago, that would have been tempting. But now you know what you want, and youâre determined to have it.
Yeri thinks itâs a bad idea.
Taeyong thinks itâs terrible idea.
Jaemin thinks youâve had better ideas, but heâs willing to cooperate nonetheless.
âI donât get it,â Taeyong shakes his head, âThat guy broke your heart.â
âHe wasnât trying to,â you mutter.
âAnd he still did, thatâs the crazy part.â
âIt was two years ago. To be fair, all of us were stupid at eighteen.â
âNot all of us were cheating on our partners with a girl we met on summer break, though,â Taeyong quips, incredulous that heâs even having this discussion with you. Youâve always been on the same page, what changed?
You groan, âGod, Taeyong. Sure, he cheated. Duh, he was in the wrong. But it wasnât me that he cheated on and itâs not like we were ever in a relationship. He couldnât have known how I felt about him when I did everything in my power to hide my feelings. And what if heâs changed?â
âAnd what if he hasnât?â Taeyong retorts quickly.
The silence in the room is deadly. Taeyong canât believe that heâs having to talk some sense into you, all while your other two friends sit quietly observing your argument. Is he the only one thinking around here? Why arenât they helping?
Then, Yeri speaks up from the other side of the room, âInstead of arguing, letâs just put Jaehyun to the test.â
âAnd how do you plan on going about that?â Taeyong grumbles.
âLetting her talk to him, dimwit, how else?â Yeri rolls her eyes, âI know that you probably think that allowing him within a ten-foot radius of her is going to break her heart, but youâre greatly underestimating my best friendâs strength. She isnât stupid, she can identify red flags.â
âEase up on the fighting words,â Jaemin chuckles, âbut I dunno, Yeriâs right. The only way sheâll know if heâs changed is to see for herself. If she notices anything odd, she can give him the boot. Itâs not rocket science.â
You glance at Taeyong. Truthfully, you donât need his permission, and both of you know that. But it would be nice to feel validated by your best friends, especially the overprotective one.
Taeyong glances back at you, and his expression softens. Heâs always had a soft spot for you, and itâs hard to tell you no. Plus, he doesnât want to be the token villain when everyone else is telling you to go for it. To chase what you want.
And in all honesty, Taeyong wishes he could chase what he wants. But the last thing he is is selfish, so maybe now is the time he lets you go.
Finally, he groans, âAlright, fine. Whatever. Talk to Jaehyun, see if heâs really ready to commit. But if this guy breaks your heart, Iâm going to quote-unquote accidentally spill the hottest coffee on his face, just to give him a taste of the fire that is hell, where he will burn for eternity.â
Jaemin shivers, having flashbacks to the first time he spoke to Taeyong, âYou love a good coffee threat, donât you? So many fighting words.â
Taeyong doesnât reply, just glares at Jaemin sharply.
âHostile, but Iâm with him,â Yeri nods, âMark my words, that man will die a slow, painful death if he makes one more mistake.â
âYep!â Jaemin agrees, âDonât worry, babes. We got your back.â
At that, you smile. Your friends are on your side. Now, here comes the real trouble.
Mustering the ability to talk to Jaehyun.
Fortunately, Yerimâs annual Pal-Cation was right around the corner, and would extend until the end of the week.
Last year, Jaehyun didnât attend.
Correction: he wasnât invited.
Yeri and Jaehyun havenât been on amazing terms since she became aware of everything, which put a dent in their relationship. This year, sheâs invited him in favor of playing Cupid.
Youâre a little nervous, anxious about being in the same space as Jaehyun for more than three minutes after all these years. Youâre scared and youâre not sure of what, because if Jaehyunâs really as changed as he implies he is, the result should be predictable.
Then again, you donât really know Jaehyunâs reason for wanting to talk to you, and that makes you all the more panicked. Of course, he wants you to hear him out, but what does he want to come out of that? A second chance? At what?To you, your relationship was so much more than sex. But what if it wasnât to him? What if he just wants to get inside your pants?
âGirl, please,â Jaemin scoffs, crashing against your hotel bed like he owns the place. Heâs in comfortable awe, and probably wouldnât think twice if someone told him the beds were made out of marshmallows, âyou were defending his life choices like yesterdayâgod damn, these beds are softâand now youâre having second thoughts? Since when do you back down from things?â
You throw a pillow at him, âI was not defending him!â
âI talked to him earlier, when he asked me if I was sure about wanting him here,â Yeri states, sitting on the seat in front of the mirror. âTold him that thereâs no way in hell heâd be here right now if I didnât want him to be. He laughed and promised me he wouldnât do anything stupid, and I told him know, because if he does do something stupid itâs off with his motherfuckinâ head.â
Jaemin smiles, satisfied, âYeah, that should do it. Iâd be scared half to death, you could probably pay someone to kill him and no one would suspect a thing.â
âEnough about killing him,â you grimace, âIâm just, I dunno, nervous, I guess. What if he just wants to get in my pants?â
âGuess you better go found out, and tonight is the perfect opportunity. I reserved the pool, so we have the entire area to ourselves until midnight.â
âYeah, and that wouldnât be too bad anyways. When was the last time you got laid?â Jaemin adds.
You sneer and flip him off, âFor your information, I got laid at that party Friday night when you left me for dead to go get drunk. And thatâs why your ass was hungover. And Yeri, you never told me that your step-brother was so fucking hot.â
Yeri exclaims, âYou slept with Jongin?â
âYou slept with her brother?â
And thatâs where you conclude that youâve overshared, and itâs time for everyone to have some time to themselves, âAlright, everybody out,â you push and pull them both out, until theyâre standing outside your door, âIâll see you guys tonight.â
Then you shut the door, and lie on your bed, sighing with comfort. Jaeminâs right, the beds really are comfortable. Youâre feeling drowsy already and decide to rest your eyes. Thereâs hours until itâs Pool Time.
Pool Time comes faster than you wished.
Youâre antsy, but Yeri has SHINeeâs Punch Drunk Love playing, so you feel more at ease. It also serves as a reminder that youâre going to need a drink or two to get through the night.
It doesnât help that you had a dream about Jaehyun while you were trying to rest your eyes, about the night when you first you met him. You were at Yeriâs step-fatherâs beach house, and the dream was specifically when you made out in the middle of the pool. Iâll never let you drown, baby. You shake the memory away.
You glance around, and see everyoneâs here. Yeriâs talking to her friend Mark who obviously has a crush on her, Jaeminâs engaging in conversation with Taeyong who for once doesnât look like he wants to rip Jaeminâs head off, Yeriâs other friends are playing in the pool, andâJaehyun.
Jaehyunâs seated at the bar, looking dead at you, which is exactly where you need to be but your lunch and your stomach seem to not be getting along suddenly. You tear your gaze, and glance back at Yeri. You need her help, one last push or words of encouragement, but youâre not selfish enough to interrupt Markâs attempts at flirting with your friend and getting some.
Well fuck, you groan. Youâre all alone this time, and deciding you look stupid standing there by yourself, you march to the bar and hoist yourself on the stool beside Jaehyun, ignoring the increasing speed of your heartbeat. It doesnât help that this place only has two barstools.
âWhat can I get you, sweetheart?â The bartender asks you. Sheâs pretty, got long dark hair and a nice face. You wonder if Jaehyun flirting with her is the reason sheâs been smiling so hard since before you sat down, trying to stifle a giggle.
And you frown at your own thoughts. Leave it to you to automatically assume the worst.
âNo idea. Suprise me,â you sigh, and with a nod she gets to work.
Itâs difficult, more like impossible to ignore Jaehyunâs presence beside you. He isnât saying anything, isnât doing anything as far as you can tell without looking at him, but the knowledge that heâs there has you on your toes.
The bartender brings back your drink, tells you to enjoy and you say thank you before having a taste. You need this before you dare say a word to him.
And then he dare speaks, âHi.â
You can feel your heart racing and you donât know why, but you do know that you donât like it. Thereâs no reason to feel like this, you heard Jaehyun talk at the party. You somehow manage to chirp back quietly, âHi.â
âArenât you gonna look at me?â
It feels like heâs challenging you, almost to say youâre too much of a pussy to look him dead in the face, and you know youâre more than likely making that up but Jaehyunâs the first person to know that youâre last person to back down from a challenge, so you do turn to look at him.
It takes everything in you to stay rational when you do. You get the chance to look at him, to really look at him, and youâre taken aback by his features. He looks the same, but different all at once, obviously a little older.
Beside you is no longer the teenage boy with the cute, high-pitched voice, but a man with a deep and matured sound to his voice. Heâs smiling a little wildly at you. Itâs the first time youâve seen him smile in years.
You take a sip from your drink so that you donât smile back and say, âIâm looking.â
âSee something you like?â
âNope,â you lie, as though you werenât obvious checking him out seconds ago, âjust you.â
âAww, donât be like that,â Jaehyun grins playfully, âsmile a little, wonât you?â
âLetâs cut to the chase, Jaehyun,â you change the subject. You refuse to let his little games work on you. âDidnât you want me to hear you out? Hop to it or Iâm leaving.â
He blinks. âHere?â
Well no one can hear you other than the bartender, but itâs a personal issue that deserves the utmost privacy and itâs not like youâre willing to share your personal business with a stranger, so you agree to walk around the pool with him. Close enough so that youâre not bumping into walls, distant enough to not be overheard.
You glance at him, âSo?â
Jaehyun sighs, âRather than defending myself, I think I should apologize. For not telIing you I was in a relationship, for risking dragging you into drama, it was selfish. I was selfish.â
It was selfish. He couldnât have been thinking of your feelings, or even her feelings.
âThereâs no excuse for what I did, and I canât imagine how belittled it made you feel. You donât have to forgive me, and I know youâre probably gonna hate me forever for this and I donât blame you. But I want you to know that Iâm sorry,â he gives you those emotional eyes, the same dejected gleam in them, âSincerely. And if thereâs anything I can do to make it up to youâŚâ
âTell me why,â you want the answers that youâve been searching for all these years. Not exactly closure, but you donât want to live in doubt, wondering maybe you were never enough, and thatâs why you were always the side piece.
âWhy I did it?â
You nod, and heâs silent for a moment.
âI mean, I donât know. I donât know why eighteen-year-old me did the shit I did, but I know that I did it and I canât take it back. Iâve looked back so many times and I still canât fathomâŚâ Jaehyun trails off, then starts shaking his head, âyou know what? Maybe I do know why.â
Donât cry, you tell yourself. Youâre stronger than this. Youâre blinking back tears, attempting to keep your voice level as you whisper, âWhy then, Jaehyun?â
âItâs not the shocking, life-changing reason I always thought it would be,â he chuckles sadly, âitâs because I was stupid. And careless. I wasnât thinking, but at the same time I thought I had the world at my feet, and I guess I did but then IâŚâ Jaehyun stops to take a breath after he realizes heâs rambling. âBut then I lost you. And thatâs when I realized that this, the lying, the cheating, the going behind your backsâit was stupid.â
âIt was stupid,â you agree, and he laughs a little more. âBut let me ask you one more thingâŚâ you say. He doesnât reply, but his eyes tell you to go ahead. âDid you love her?â Or did you love me?
Jaehyun nods lazily. âAt one point.â
You bite your lip, unsatisfied.
âDid you love me?â
That catches him off-guard. You almost expect him to stop walking the way heâs frozen, and you feel your stomach churning in regret.
âNevermind, forget I asked thatââ
âWhen you first left, I was unaffected,â Jaehyun interjects. âLike I said, I thought I had the world at my feet, so I thought you were replaceable. I tried replacing you. But it wasnât the same, no matter how many times I tried, it was never, ever the same,â his eyes muse at you, âNo one looked at me the way you did, no one talked to me all night and made me laugh like you did, no one ran circles through my mind like you, no one was like you. So I knew I needed you back, but by the time I realized you were already gone. And thatâs when I knew I had fucked up.â
He adds, âSo, yeah. I did love you. Maybe it was at the wrong time, maybe it was too late for me to love you, maybe I wasnât supposed to, but I did and I donât think Iâve ever stopped.â
Jaehyunâs thumb runs over your eyes, wiping a string of tears that you hadnât even know you cried. He doesnât say anything about it, just pulls you closer to his chest.
âWhat about you?â He asks.
âWhat about me?â
âDid you love me?â
Now itâs your turn to freeze, and then you almost laugh. Of course, you loved him. You were in love with him. Hopelessly.
âCan I be honest?â
Jaehyun nods. âMm-hm. Thatâs what this is all about, right?â
You exhale a sharp breath, preparing to tell one of your deepest, darkest secrets to the one person that was never supposed to know, âWhen I told you the reason I wanted to end things was because of you cheating on her, that wasnât the whole truth. It was part of it, and though Iâm no homewrecker, thereâs another reason. I was in love with youâhopelessly, helplessly, utterlyâand I couldnât stand the thought that you never felt the same, that I was just a plaything to you.â
âY/nââ
âLet me finish,â you order, âI left to take care of me. I thought it would have been disrespectful towards myself to stay in that position, when from my understanding, I loved you yet you loved her,â you feel another trail of tears coming, and wipe them away before they have the chance to spill. âAt that moment, when I found out you already had someone, I felt like I didnât know you anymore. I thought that maybe you never really cared, and I was the only one that felt it.â
It, the love. The spark. The connection. The butterflies in your stomach when he held you close, or called you cute pet names. The emotion whenever he was deep inside you.
âIt felt like I had given my heart to a stranger,â you laugh humorlessly, âbecause for all I knew, whoâs to say I was the only one you were fucking behind her back? I felt so, so stupid. Like I was never enough. And when I first saw your face again after all these years, all of that hurt came back. But at the same time,â you look him in his eyes, âall my feelings for you came back, too.â
Itâs silent for a moment, but it isnât awkward. Youâve just confessed your feelings for one another, not only now, but for the you of two years ago. For the you of eighteen who never thought youâd ever have this chance.
And you canât believe Jaehyunâs actually had feelings for you, too. It always seemed like some fairytale thing, but hearing one another out like responsible adults instead of immature teens changes things.
âWow,â Jaehyun whispers in surprise, âWow. I was such a fool. I made a simple thing so fucking complicated. Imagine where weâd be if I would have just broken up with her and realized my feelings sooner.â
Together. Youâd be together, as one.
âCouldâve, wouldâve, shouldâve, didnât,â you say lightheartedly, âThereâs no use in worrying about that. Youâve apologized. And I forgive you.â
âYou forgive me?â Jaehyun gawks. âWhy? I thought youâd hate me forever or something.â
âI kinda still hate the you of two years ago, heâs an asshole,â you giggle, âbut the you standing next to me right now, today, is a changed man who knows his mistake and wonât do that shit ever a-fucking-gain. Or else.â
Jaehyun snorts. âOf course not. I wouldnât dare.â
You smile, âGood.â
âGood. So do we address our relationship too, orâŚâ
âLater, please,â you groan. âCome sit by the water with me.â
Jaehyun agrees, and so now youâre sitting at the edge of the pool, your head resting on his shoulder.
âIs SHINee still your favorite band?â He asks.
âYeah,â you mumble, heart warming at the fact that he even still remembers that.
Then he teases, âDo you still swoon over Lee Taemin?â
You give him a very, very icy glare, âShut up. Iâll push you into the pool right now.â
âYou wouldnât,â Jaehyun challenges.
Wrong move, you smirk. You love a challenge.
So in one swift movement, you do push him into the pool, and the sound of him yelling and the water splashing is like music to your ears. You giggle, watching as he comes back up, hair heavy and soaked as it sticks to him like a second skin. You also take notice of his white t-shirt, or his abs through the soaked cotton. Six pack. Toned. Stupid dumb crazy hot. Damn, sometimes you forget why you kept coming back to him.
He sneers, unamused. âNot funny.â
âItâs a little funny,â you disagree with a smile.
âOh yeah?â he says, âLook, Lee Taemin!â
You turn without fully processing his statement yet, âWhaâagh!â
In an even swifter motion, Jaehyunâs pulled your ankles, and now a distracted you falls into the pool with a splash. Not to mention, your bikini cover-up is still on. This, unfortunately, is karma. Inconvenience aside, youâre getting deja vu, a distant memory seeping back into your mind.
You whine, âNot fair.â
âItâs a little fair,â he mocks, and you canât help but roll your eyes.
âYouâre lucky I know how to swim,â you wringe out your hair, âYou would have had an lawsuit against you if I didnât.â
You wonder if heâs taken the hint, if heâs gonna say it. You remember that exact moment, being so close to his face and feeling so warm. Iâd never let you drown, baby.
And like a rehearsed line, he says perfectly, âIâd never let you drown, baby.â
âYou remember.â Your tone is like a question, but itâs a statement.
âI remember a lot of things about you,â Jaehyun states, and perfectly timed, the current song fades into your all-time personal favoriteâSHINeeâs 1 of 1. âFor instance, is this still your favorite SHINee song?â
One glance in Yeriâs direction confirms your suspicion that this is all her doing, as you see her giggling at you, phone in hand. It was already suspicious of her to play SHINee when sheâs an Ariana Grande girl, but now you definitely see her her crystal-clear intentions.
âYeah,â you mutter, but as you turn back around you notice heâs definitely close enough to hear you. Your noses are almost touching, and you can feel your heart racing. You feel like a teenager in love all over again, blood pumping, your heart beating in your ears. Deja vu.
Jaehyun must be feeling it too, because he asks, âCan I kiss you?â
Yet again, you blush. âSure.â
And on cue, his lips are against yours. Jaehyunâs still an amazing kisser, he feels gentle yet heâs so fierce, gripping your waist as your fingers tangle in his hair. You know for a fact heâd be even rougher if you werenât inside of a pool.
His lips feel better than you remember, and then he bites your lip. You moan, lips parting and he darts his tongue in your mouth. You can taste his drink on his tongue, faint remnants of whatever he had in his cup.
Fuck, you forgot how high kissing him makes you feel. Itâs like an addictive drug, and you can feel nothing but your heartbeat and his lips on yours. You donât want him to stop.
And then, to your misfortune, he does stop. You whimper, not really taking notice of how out of breath you are as youâre overcome with greed.
âWhyâd you stop?â You frown.
âYou need to breathe, babe. You wanna almost drown in the pool like Taeyong?â He laughs.
Speaking of Taeyong, you check on him with your eyes. To your surprise, heâs still talking and laughing with Jaemin, the pair obviously hitting it off and super into one another. It makes you smile. That boyâs had a huge crush on you that you both know you canât reciprocate for years, and itâs time he lets you go.
âHello⌠Earth to y/n? You look like the cute puppy eyes emoji.â
Your eyes snap at Jaehyun, âShut up,â you reply, âAnd kiss me.â
âBossy,â Jaehyun teases, but he must like that about you, because moments later heâs kissing you again, even more passionately than before.
âOh, câmon!â
Yeri giggles, âSorry, y/n. The majority rules!â
For the second day of your California vacation, Yeriâs decided to take everyone to an amusement park an hour out from the hotel. You asked her why she didnât do Disney Land this year, but she said it was reserved for her first Bae-Cation.
You roll your eyes. What happened to chicks over dicks?
The point is, you wanted to separate into groups, considering it would be easier to keep up with everyone. However, everyone else wanted to do pairs, arguing that there was more freedom and itâd be easier to come towards a mutual decision instead of arguing over what to ride.
So everyone grabs their partners, and youâre shocked when you see Jaemin and Taeyong step beside one another. Youâre incredulous. Jaeminâs just been abandoning you left and right ever since he came back.
âYou two in love or some shit now?â You fold your arms, eyes pointing at them accusingly. âWhat happened to those coffee threats, Yong? I thought you said Jaem was annoying. And Jaemin? You said he was scary!â
Jaemin shrugs coolly. âHe was, but then I realized something. Taeyongâs like an egg, he has a hard shellââ Taeyong glares, âânevermind, he doesnât like that comparison very much. Taeyongâs like a smore, hard on the outside yet warm and soft on the inside. Oh, and very deliâow!â
Jaemin holds his stomach dramatically, looking at Taeyong who stands with a satisfied grin on his face. Perhaps, Taeyong still is a little scary.
âJaem! Yong!â
âOoh, that reminds me,â Jaemin eyes twinkle, âI think our ship name should be Jaeyong.â
Taeyong disagrees, âNo way. It should be Taemin.â
âFirst of all, you two will never be Taemin,â you interject with a scowl. âAnyways, you two figure that out. Iâll go be with my partner.â
And you stomp away to spot Jaehyun waiting for you with a cheeky grin. Youâre optionless, you suppose. Yeriâs with Mark again, Taeyong and Jaemin are obviously a thing now, Seulgiâs with Winter and Jennieâs with Nayeon.
Itâs not even like last night ended poorly. Last night couldnât have been better, you spent your time making out and drinking with Jaehyun in the pool until midnight. It was too good to be true, you felt like Cinderella, having to slip back into her normal life by the time the clock struck twelve.
Now though, you have to be alone with Jaehyun. Okay technically, youâll be surrounded by hundreds of people, and depending on where you go your friends may or may not be accompanying you, though still. It isnât that you donât trust him, but isnât it natural to feel uneasy?
Jaehyun calls, âCâmon, princess! Letâs go get hotdogs. Iâm hungry.â
âWe ate at the hotel,â you snort.
âSo? That was an hour ago. Plus the time it took for us to get through that crazy ass line. If youâre not hungry, Iâll buy you a lemonade or something.â
A lemonade does sound good, you ponder. Itâs summertime, and no amount of sunglasses and mosquito-repellent sunscreen is going to help you beat this heat. Itâs ninety-something degrees.
âFine,â you give in, and an eternity later (curse these never-ending lines) youâre sitting down at a bench, you sipping on your humongous cup of lemonade and Jaehyun eating a hotdog.
To be honest, you really didnât need the largest size that they had. You were just testing his reaction for the fun of it, expecting to have a giggle or two, but he totally surprised you, buying it and insisting you should have it even after you told him that you were just playing.
The Jaehyun you knew three years ago was many things, and rich was not one of them.
âLetâs talk,â he says after discarding his hotdog in the bin. Oh of course, Jaehyunâs brain cannot function when heâs running low on food.
Playing dumb, you ask, âAbout what?â
âUs,â he answers simply.
âIn the middle of an amusement park?â
âItâs important,â Jaehyun grins, âYou donât trust me.â
Perplexity is written all over your face. You trust Jaehyun on the basic level, you feel safe around him and in his embrace. But youâre not sure if you trust him with your heart just yet, and after everything he did, you have the right to be scared.
âAnd I understand why. I hurt you once, youâre scared I might do it again. So letâs start over,â he concludes, and you blink. âFrom scratch. Past aside. I want you to get to know me, and I wanna get to know you. Iâm sure thereâs plenty of things I donât know about you now.â
I mean, you know the gist. You didnât say that aloud, of course. Through a discussion last night, he still knows your favorite color and your undying love for pie and SHINee, especially Taemin, your birthday, your momâs birthday, even your dogâs birthdayâokay, maybe he knows too much. Or you overshared. Who knows.
And you still remember a lot of facts about him, but at the same time, thereâs still so much you donât know about one another.
âRight,â you agree, âSo by starting over, you meanâŚâ
âCompletely,â he answers quick. âLetâs re-introduce ourselves.â
Your lips donât quiver, drawn into a line. âYou gotta be kidding.â
âIâm serious!â Jaehyun claims. âCâmon, Iâll even go first.â
âJaehyunââ
âAht, aht! Youâre not supposed to know my name,â Jaehyun chides. âHi, my nameâs Jaehyun, Iâm twenty-one, and I like Cigarettes After Sex. The band, I mean. I donât smoke.â
You roll your eyes. There was no need for him to explain, because literally everybody knows Jaehyun likes Cigarettes After Sex, the same way everyone knows you like SHINee. But for the sake of placating him and getting this over with, you refuse to make any comments.
âThis is so corny.â
âThe longer you wait the longer it takes.â
Reluctantly you give in, but not without a groan. âHi, Jaehyun. My nameâs y/n, Iâm also twenty-one, and I like SHINee.â
Jaehyun claps dramatically, âBravo! Was that so hard?â
âYes, actually.â
He giggles, tells you to stop being dramatic and you two begin your mission to ride every ride that you can within the span of a few hours. You get more snacks in between, sharing a container of butter-y delicious popcorn and double-dating some rides with the other pairs (which unfortunately happens to lead to you witnessing Mark throwing up in a bush).
Unfortunately, time flies by fast when youâre having fun, and when Yeri texts the Pal-Cation Pals group chat to meet up by the first popcorn stand in fifteen minutes, you know you have little time remaining, enough for one last ride.
The Ferris Wheel.
Last but not least, the Ferris Wheel. You and Jaehyun have been saving it for last, agreeing the full experience is at dark night, when the colorful lights illuminate the indigo sky.
âLetâs go!â You pull him into a cart, and he laughs at your enthusiasm.
When the ride starts, Jaehyun holds your hand and you rest your head on his shoulder. It feels nice and comfortable, and you quickly realize you miss having him like this. Close to you. And itâs silent for a moment. You and Jaehyun have always had these moments together, where youâre not talking one anotherâs ears off, but holding each other in warm silence. You have always valued the otherâs company.
You watch as the world gets smaller underneath your feet, how the Ferris wheel lights twinkle in vibrant colors, and shine on its surroundings. You see how the other rides glow in the dark, appearing so close yet so far away.
Itâs beautiful. Your eyes flare different colorsâred, blue, pink, greenâas you gawk in wonder. If you could, youâd stay like this forever, watching this astonishing sight with Jaehyun at your side.
âYou look pretty in the light,â Jaehyun marvels, snapping you out of your daze. The butterflies and their flapping wings come back, and heâs always been able to make you feel like this so easily.
Warmth fills your cheeks, and you turn around so that he doesnât notice. âDonât I always? Or are you saying I only look pretty in the light?â
Jaehyun rolls his eyes, âYouâre still impossible. Iâm trying to flirt with you.â
âThen do so,â you smile. âKeep telling me about how pretty I am.â
âLook at me,â Jaehyun whispers, but itâs loud and clear to you. Slowly, you do look at him, noticing the way his lips curl into a soft grin, and how the purple light casts on his gorgeous skin and features. âYour lips are pretty, too.â
Next, heâll call your bones pretty and youâll still feel your face flush with heat.
Jaehyun kissed you for hours last night, but when his lips collide with yours again you know that youâll never get used to the feeling. Your fingers card through his hair while his gravitate towards your skin, cold hands sending a shiver down your spine as they mesh with the evening warmth.
You bite at his lip this time, wallowing in the sound of his moan as it tumbles from between his parted lips. He can feel you smiling, the corners of your lips spreading apart as you stifle a laugh.
It feels like fire consumes you, like you���re melting, melting into his touch, like candle wax as his fingertips trace your skin. Like a bombâs ignited inside you, like youâre exploding, and the more you feel him the more you desire him. The more you crave him, the more your body yearns for him.
You know you have him when you move for his neck, marking a trail of red lipstick stains that look purple in the light. He takes it as a challenge, retaliating with a bite at your neck that makes you sigh in pleasure, and this is definitely why you get along so wellâyouâre compatible.
âWhen we get back,â you gasp, ignoring the complacent look he casts at you, âMeet me in my room.â
âWhat about the others?â
âThey saw us making out in the pool, Jaehyun, literally nobody cares,â you roll your eyes. âNo more sneaking around shit, right?â
He smiles, âRight. Canât anyways, your lipstick is all over my throat.â
You giggle, and bring him back in for another kiss as the ride begins to slow to an end.
The next couple of days are equally eventful, yet fly by far too quickly for your liking. You hit the beach and unfortunately witness a woman being stung by a jelly fish, visit some museums, the zoo, and even hike near the Hollywood sign. You also make sure to spend Yeriâs money on some souvenirs, and Jaehyun buys you matching necklaces. You have his J, he has your first initial.
Today is Saturdayâalready. Tomorrow you will return home, and youâre not sure if youâre ready or not. You sigh as you scroll through your camera roll. Youâve had so much fun this week, thereâs the pictures of Markâs scared face on the roller coaster, Taeyong buried alive into the sand, Yeri and the girls trying on humongous sun glasses at the mall, and the video of Jaemin and Jaehyun arm-wrestling to determine whoâs the better Jae to prove it (Jaehyun won).
Like a normal Saturday, todayâs the one chill day. The whole week has been chaotic in a fun way, but Yeri had nothing else planned, so she told everyone to take a day to wind down and feel free to venture out to wrap up the vacation.
Which leads you to now.
Jaehyun and you agreed to visit the park, just walking around and talking, and perhaps doing some making out in between. Youâve been doing that a lot lately, and youâre pretty sure youâre addicted. Itâs like thereâs crack in his lips that cannot simply be fixed with chapstick.
âItâs hot,â you complain.
Jaehyun snorts. âWeâre in California, babe. Imagine Yeri took us to Florida.â
You wince. Youâre barely beating the Californian heat, thereâs no way youâll survive down south in Florida. It doesnât even snow there.
âI thought you were gonna say some fake-romantic shit, like Iâll reach into the sky and throw the sun into the freezer, princess, just say the word,â you mimick his voice exaggeratedly.
Jaehyun rolls his eyes, but laughs nonetheless, âNo can do, princess,â he teases, âbut I can get us some ice cream from that stand over there. Stay put, Iâll be right back.â
âWait!â You shout. âYou even know what I want?â
He says your favorite flavor, and even your preferred container to consume it in, âRight?â
A smile spreads on your lips, and your heart flutters. He remembers. âRight.â
Jaehyun shoots you a smile then jogs over to the ice cream stand, pulling his wallet from his pockets. You gotta remember to ask him where heâs getting all this money from, this man could be a drug dealer for all you know.
Nonetheless, you sit at a nearby bench and pull out your phone. Nothing beats checking up on your Animal Crossing island while you wait.
You notice the presence of someone sitting beside you but donât bat an eye, knowing without looking that it isnât Jaehyun. And who are you to shoo away a stranger if they want to rest their feet?
âYou must be y/n,â hearing your name, your eyes snap to the side instinctively.
And thatâs when you realize that this stranger may not be as unknown as you initially thought.
Your eyes widen, âYouâŚâ
âI am, Jaehyunâs ex-girlfriend,â she, Victoria announces proudly, like itâs some achievement to be clipped onto the fridge.
You never met her, but youâll never forget her name, or her face for that matter. Itâs kind of stupid, how you found out. You were on Instagram, and you saw Jaehyunâs account in the replies of Yeriâs post. You clicked his profile, because you had never exchanged accounts before, and you quickly saw why.
He didnât post her often, amongst all the flaunting images of himself, but when he did he made it crystal clear that she was his girlfriend, and what sole other woman would he continuously post onto his page?
âWhat are you doing here?â You ask, an obviously bitter edge to your voice. It isnât she that you should be bitter towards, but you canât help but feel slightly defensive.
âRelax, darling, Iâm not stalking you on whatever summer vacation heâs had the courtesy to whisk you away on,â Victoria giggles. Of course not, that would be obsessive. âItâs actually a coincidence to see you, but since weâre here, letâs talk.â
Disinterested, you reply, âThereâs nothing for you and I to discuss.â
âOf course, there is! You were fucking with him while he was with me, right?â she gives you a picture-perfect smile that makes you want to grit your teeth, yet you compose yourself. She sighs, âYou know that, and yet youâre like what, dating him now? Iâm telling you now, once a cheater, always a cheater. You might think he loves you now, but I promise you, heâll stab you in the back the moment you arenât looking.â
Victoria misjudges your silence as you giving her the go-ahead to continue, âI know that you know, and I know youâre trying to convince yourself that heâs changed, but heâs still the same old bastard he was three years ago. I mean just look at him, heâs even flirting with that lady now.â
With furrowed brows, you turn in Jaehyunâs direction, eyes finding that he actually is flirting with the ice cream lady. You canât believe your eyes. Really? The fucking ice cream woman? He isnât trying to be subtle with it, either.
She tilts her head as she speaks in your ear, âSee? He doesnât give a fuck. Not about you, not about her, not about any of us. Youâre just yet another notch in his belt.â
And suddenly, all those doubts come back, the ones that you had pushed away and replaced with your growing feelings for him. Yet now that theyâre existing within the same space, itâs even more terrifying, itâs exactly what you feared.
What if Jaehyun never really cared? What if all this is just some big act? What if heâs just been playing with your emotions this entire time? What if you donât really know Jaehyun like you thought?
You want him, but what if he doesnât really want you?
Jaehyun walks over, seemingly not noticing his ex-girlfriendâs presence, âI got the ice cream. Whoâs thâVictoria?â
âHello, Jaehyun,â she waves, offering him a smile. âWe were just talking about you.â
âWhat the fuck did you tell her?â Jaehyun scowls, taking notice of your silence and the empty, unhappy gaze you shoot him. You donât even smile, hardly even blink.
Victoria shrugs. âNothing she doesnât already know.â
âIâm walking back to the hotel,â you announce, sliding your phone back into your pocket and peeling yourself off of the bench.
âWait!â
He calls out your name.
For the third time, you turn and walk away.
This time, though, heâs not letting you walk away. Not without putting up a fight first.
âWhy are we doing this again?â Jaehyun yells. âWhy? Did I do something? We can just talk this out, you know. What happened to no more secrets?â
You retort, âYou fucking tell me, Jaehyun! How am I supposed to know that you donât have secrets?â
âThe same goddamn way I know you donât have any! Trust!â And the realization hits him hard. He knows that itâs only been some days, but what could Victoria have said to make you back out so hastily? âIs that what it is? You donât trust me?â
Tears sting your eyes. âTrust you? You want me to trust you? With you being the kind of person you are? Youâre out of luck.â
That burned Jaehyun. After all of the bonding youâve done lately, he wouldâve thought that you would trust him a little more, but he sees clearly now. He sees that heâs done all he can do, and now itâs time for you to do your part.
âWhat kind of person am I, y/n?â He asks coldly, shoving his hands in his pockets.
You spit, âYouâre an asshole.â
âYeah?â Jaehyun laughs tonelessly, âWell frankly I think youâre an asshole, too. So when youâre ready to be assholes together, let me know.â
And this time, Jaehyunâs the one that walks away. This time, you understand his pain, as you have those tear-stung eyes and that quivering voice. That empty feeling inside, the pang in your heart. The way itâs killing you inside, but you donât have it in you to move, to chase him. All you can do for now is let it eat at you slowly.
Maybe Victoria was wrong. Maybe youâre planting the knife in your own back.
Sunday comes slowly, and youâre glad you didnât ride the same van as Jaehyun. You still have to deal with the curious stares your friends shoot you, but itâs better than confronting your emotions, or at least you think it is.
Youâre not ready yet.
When you get home, the first time you do is order Panda Express via Uber Eats so that you donât starve as you rot in your room. The next thing you do is flop against your bed and and sob.
A few days go by like this, in pure brutal agony. You drowning in your thoughts, the maybes and the what ifâs. You feel like a teenage girl experiencing her first break-up, lost and confused and unsure of how to deal with the hurt. Itâs no oneâs fault but yours though, and itâs your job to fix it or forever hold your peace.
Love is hard. You know that. You accept that. If you couldnât, then it would be wrong of you to try be in a real relationship. But loving, as a verb, is easy. Too easy. So easy, to the point where sometimes, you donât realize youâre doing it until itâs too late. Whatâs harder is accepting the fact that love isnât a choice, but a feeling. If it was, you would have chosen to stop loving Jaehyun years ago. You would have chosen to fall in love with Taeyong, or maybe even Kai.
But your heart chose Jung Jaehyun, and it must have a mind of itâs own, because no matter how much you tell it to let go, it doesnât listen.
Thatâs why as the days go by, theyâre slow and empty. Because Jaehyunâs not there. Not with you. And a little voice in the back of your head is saying heâs with another girl, but your heart is telling you to have faith. You are severely conflicted.
Just when you think you might just spend the rest of your life rotting here, youâre quickly proven wrong by the dedication and genuine care and concern of your best friends.
âHey, bitch,â Jaemin strolls in casually, as though this is his room, âNew guy already?â
âWhat?â
âSome guy opened the door,â he replies, flopping against your bean-bag cough.
You blink, gears turning in your mind as you try to decipher what man could possibly be inside of your houseâoh. You roll your eyes, âThatâs my roommateâs boyfriend, you dumbass.â
âOh,â Jaemin mumbles, then his eyes twinkle as he makes a move for your desk, âOoh, Panda Express.â
Suddenly, Yeri storms inside your bedroom, flickering on the lights inside your very much dim and deprived of life, sunshine and happiness room, chanting vigorously the lyrics to Ariana Grande and Nicki Minajâs The Light is Coming, âThe light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole!â
You groan, yanking the sheets and comforter over your face to block out the light like a vampire, âYou guys, please leave me alone.â
âNope,â says Taeyong, who follows suit after your other friends, venturing into your room. You fight, you tugging the covers towards you while he attempts at pulling them off. Itâs a quick battle which you lose, and you soon accept defeat. âYouâve been suffering in silenceâand darknessâfor far too long. So, fess up. What did that punk do? Do I need to prepare the coffee?â
You sigh, Saturday seeping back into your memory. âHe didnât do anything.â
Jaemin blinks. âWhat do you mean? Why else have you been sulking in your bedroom for the past four days like a divorced man whoâs ex-wife took the kids and the TV? Shit, all youâre missing is a bar and some alcohol at this point.â
You roll your eyes, âI mean, I was the one that fucked up this time.â
âWhat?â
âWhat?â
âWhat?â
They all gasp involuntarily, and if you had it in you, you would roll your eyes at the chorus of whatâs.
That day rewinds in your head, how it was so warm then so cold within a matter of moments. Your eyes water as you recall everything that happened, Victoria, your public altercation, walking back to the hotel alone while it felt like there was a rain cloud above your head, despite the piping hot conditions outdoors.
It isnât like you donât want to let Jaehyun in. You do, but youâre terrified of granting him that permission, of giving him your heart when heâs broken it before. But this way, youâre only breaking your heart more, and breaking his, too.
âI did something stupid. I assumed the worst when I shouldnât have, and then I got scared. So I ran,â you want to bury yourself underneath the covers and sink into the earth to be forgotten, but you have to deal with your mistakes. âAnd I broke his heart. Now I need to fix it, but I donât fucking know how.â
Yeri thinks youâre dumb.
Taeyong thinks youâre stupid.
Jaemin thinks youâre out of your fucking mind and an absolute fool for letting your thoughts destroy you, but heâll do whatever he can to help.
âTalk to him, duh,â Yeri says like itâs the most obvious thing in the world, and it is, but easier said than done.
âHow? I bet he doesnât even want to see my face.â
âAre you kidding?â Jaemin gawks. âHeâs been moping around the apartment like literally all week, and me and Jongin havenât said anything because we thought it was his fault! He also has divorced man syndrome!â
Oh. You feel extra stupid now, and you canât believe you let Victoria get in your head. Collapsing onto your pillow, you groan, âI really am an asshole.â
âMaybe, yeah,â Taeyong agrees, âbut so is he, you guys are a match made in heaven.â
âOr hell,â Jaemin chimes in.
Taeyong glares. âWith that being saidâand I mean this in the friendliest way possibleâget your head out of your ass and go talk to him.â
And you smile softly at that. If Taeyongâs giving you the push, you know that everyoneâs right and you need to do something. Now.
You nod and whip out your phone with a sigh, opening iMessage. Can we talk?
(Delivered.)
(Read.)
Sure.
Antsy, youâre fidgeting. Your anxiety is spiking and you can feel your heartbeat directly in your eardrums, but this time your fears wonât scare you off. You wait for Jaehyun, feet tapping against the ground restlessly, until you see him nearing.
He walks over to your side, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and you feel your heart wrenching a little when you notice that he doesnât give you his wild grin he usually shoots whenever he sees you. His face is inscrutable, and you bite back the urge to run, because you know now that no matter how fast you run, youâll never be able to hide from your feelings.
âHey,â your voice is giving up on you, but you refuse to let it. Get a grip.
âHey,â Jaehyun whispers back. His eyes are dark and empty, and thatâs how you know you cut him deep. Thereâs always a gleam to his eyes, whether sad or blissful.
You can do this, you tell yourself. Youâve talked to him about much worse before, this should be nothing. But still, itâs never been quite like this. Youâve never made this bad of a mistake.
âAbout Saturday,â you begin, still fidgeting but managing to look at him, âIâm sorry. I jumped to conclusions instead of asking you, instead of trusting you, and I let Victoria get in my headââ
âYeah, what the hell was that about?â Jaehyun interjects. âSorry for interrupting you, but Iâm still confused. Did I do something?â
âShe pointed out that you were flirting with the ice cream lady. What was that?â
Jaehyun blinks, processing your statement, and when he does he begins shaking his head, âSeriously? Youâre telling me this is all over the fucking ice cream? I was only flirting with her to get free ice cream! You know they was trying to charge me fifteen dollars for 4 scoops?â
âItâs not just that!â You exclaim. âLike, yeah, that triggered it, butâfuck, Jaehyun, I was scared, I was so fucking scared. I was overthinking, and all my doubts and fears came back, that what if you never cared, what if you donât want me like I want you, what if I donât know you like I think I do? I was scared to trust you, scared that I love you because I donât want to lose you againââ
If Jaehyun was a dog, his ears would perk up. âYou love me?â
âYes,â you answer boldly. âI love you, Jaehyun. Iâm in love with you, and up until now that scared me half to death, because I wasnât sure how I was supposed to know that you love me, too,â and especially enough to stay. âBut now I know. I trust you, Jaehyun. I love you, I want you, and Iâm gonna be honest, Iâm still a little scared. But thatâs what love is, trusting someone to not break your heart. Itâs a risk Iâm ready to take for you.â
Jaehyun is silently stunned. He doesnât have much to say, taken aback by your confession and the fact this actually happening. âYou mean that?â
You nod, smiling. âEvery word.â
In seconds, Jaehyun has you pinned to the wall, his lips against yours. God, you missed this feeling. The feeling of his plush lips against yours, his hands on your body. You miss kissing him irresistibly, every hour of every day, for moments at a time until you were breathless.
Jaehyun seems to have missed it just as much, kissing you with a passionâhungrily; greedily. He kisses you like he canât have enough, like his lips have an insatiable hunger.
And you canât believe youâre making out with him behind your apartment, but youâre willing to try new things for him.
Jaehyun taps your thighs, and by now you know that that meets to jump, so you do, shrieking a little, yet he doesnât let you fall. âI got you,â he whispers in between kisses, breath tickling your skin, âand I wonât ever let you go.â
Itâs been five days. Youâve been trying not to think too hard about the label thing, maybe Jaehyun is planning something, he wouldnât just forget to ask you to be his girlfriend.
Youâre walking back to your apartment when it happens.
âExcuse me,â a stranger with an oddly familiar voice calls at to you, and when you whirl around, the last person to see isâŚ
âTaemin?â You nearly scream. He points his index finger to his lips, gesturing for you to be quiet, which makes sense because youâre in public but thereâs literally no way the man standing before you is the Lee Taemin. Youâre dreaming.
You even pinch yourself, much to his amusement, and come to the realization that this is very much real. You could faint. Taemin? Lee Taemin? From SHINee? Thereâs simply no way.
âI believe this is for you,â Taemin holds in his hands your all-time favorite SHINee album, The Misconception Of Us. You take it, staring at the album in disbelief. Youâre gawking. âAnd one last thing. Come with me, please?â
Okay, what the hell. He has to be trying to kidnap you or something, itâs perfect bait. Who wouldnât agree to follow their favorite artist after they randomly pop up behind you and offer you your favorite album for free? Youâre lucky it isnât some kidnapping scheme, because you ultimately end up following him despite your doubts.
He takes you to the cafe, which, to your surprise is empty. At least you think it is, until Jaehyun slips out of hiding, walking up to you with a smile.
âJaehyun,â you canât help smile back, âWhat the?â
âFlip it over,â he says, gesturing towards the album, and curiously, you obey. To the back is attached a sticky note that says, To my 1 of 1 girl, will you be my girlfriend? Itâs cheesy, but it has you smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.
âYes!â Instantly, you crash into his arms. âYes, yes, yesyes yesââ he has to cut you off with his lips, and you melt into kiss.
You pull away the second you hear the intro to your favorite song, 1 of 1, and look onto the cafe stage (yes, the cafe has a stage for Friday through Saturday night performances) to see Taemin beginning to sing and cover the other members parts.
Youâre mind-blown. A part of you is still convinced that this is a dream, because how the fuck did Jaehyun get a man as busy as Lee Taemin to do this? You forgot to ask him who he works for, but do drug dealers have Lee Taemin money?
âHow did youââ
âShh,â Jaehyun pecks your lips, âTaeminâs singing.â
You roll your eyes, yet giggle. âI love you.â
âI love you, too,â Jaehyun engulfs you in a warm, comfortable hug, âAnd only you.â
When he says it, you trust him. You believe him. Because the Jung Jaehyun you know and love today is a man of his word, and that means you get to love him with no fears, and no worries.
Love is a challenge. And in this moment and the next, itâs safe to say youâve won.
#jaehyun smut#nct 127 smut#nct smut#jaehyun x reader#nct imagines#jaehyun imagines#jung jaehyun smut#nct x reader#nct#nct scenarios
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14DWY is an 18+ game! Minors DNI!
Ren/AFAB reader
Summary: You find out whatâs in Renâs âstorage roomâ though you donât seem to mind that much.
Or angel matches Renâs freak.
Word count: 2.9k
Ren belongs to: @14dayswithyou
Also Happy birthday my beloved RenRen ^_^
-
Your eyes land on the warm light that seeps through the cracks of your beloved boyfriend's storage room door. Youâve always thought it was strange that the lights seem to be on at all times, but you figured with the sheer size of the apartment he lives in he probably doesnât pay much mind to the electrical bill. However, in this very moment -with Ren out on a trip to the grocery store to gather the missing ingredients of the dinner you were preparing- The urge to just take a peek at the room the pink-haired man always acted so secretive about, became a lot stronger. I mean, what's the harm, right? According to Ren the only thing occupying that room was just a bunch of junk. It couldn't possibly be worse than the state your own apartment is in anytime life gets too much. you'd be the last person to judge a messy room. You'd just take a quick look to get rid of that unsettling feeling you always get whenever you're near it. Ren wouldn't know you'd seen the mess, and you could finally stop overthinking it. A win-win situation.
You get up from your seat and slowly make your way over to the mahogany door. Your lift your hand, pausing in doubt for a second, before attempting to turn the doorhandle. It doesn't budge. Your brows furrow in confusion, the lock on the ominous door further inducing your anxiety. With a new found determination you reach into your hair and take out a bobby pin, still remembering how to pick a lock from that one time you locked yourself out of your apartment. You fiddle with the bobby pin until you eventually hear a click. You reach for the door handle again, and this time the door opens. You hesitate before entering.
Your eyes widen in shock as you take in your surroundings. The walls are covered entirely in photos of you. Every. Single. Inch. There are photos of you that are years old, photos that you didn't take yourself, photos that you've never posted or sent to any one, photos of you with your friends, though every face aside from yours have been aggressively scratched out. And are those... photos of you sleeping?
That's not the only thing. There are stacks of clothes- your clothes- clothes you thought you lost years ago. You recognize used napkins and cups from your favorite cafe, traces of your lipstick still lingering on them.
All of a sudden everything clicks. Violet seeing a tall guy leave your apartment. The feeling of being watched. Ren's constant personality switching. His possessiveness over you. His discontent for your friends. His clinginess. Him knowing things about you that you had never told him. Your missing laundry. It was all so obvious.
-
Ren makes his way into his apartment, groceries still in hand. "Angel?" He calls out with a smile on his face, like an overexcited puppy returning to its owner. "I'm home!"
His brows furrow when he's met with nothing but silence. He walks further into the apartment, putting down the bags in his search for you. He walks towards the living room, expecting to see you asleep on the couch. Unease begins to rise within him, when you're nowhere to be seen. He calls out your name as he continues his search for you, moving towards the hallway.
Dread. Horrifying dread, is the only thing going through Ren when his eyes are met with the open door to his "storage room''.
He doesn't even register that his feet had carried him into the room up until the moment he stood before you, your back facing him.
"A- angel?" He utters out, sounding more fearful and uncertain than he had ever before.
You turn around very slowly. Your eyes are wide with confusion and fear. Like a deer caught in headlights. Ren's heart aches at the sight of you. This wasn't how It was supposed to go. He can fix this. He has to fix this. He tries to remain calm. He tells himself that worst case scenario, he'd just have to start over. Create a new persona. Win back your love.
Your name falls from his lips again. "I can explai-" You interrupt him before he can finish. "Did you-" you breathe out and a smile slowly begins to form on your lips. "Did you do all of this for me?" You seem almost ecstatic.
"What?" A million thoughts race through Ren's head. You moved towards him, placing a hand on his face. His breath hitches and he finds himself almost frozen, pure confusion etched onto his face. You should hate him. Now that his Haruko persona had slipped up, you should be yelling and running telling him how disgusting, creepy and outright violating this is. Yet you stood before him looking at him as though he were a saint. Caressing him with the tenderness of a devoted follower. Your lips land on his. All his confusion and fear get pushed away, the only thing occupying his mind being the feeling of your lips on his, repenting him of all his sins. He breaks out of his trance and kisses you back fervently, hands landing on your waist to pull you as close as humanly possible.
You were the one to break the kiss, Ren looks down at you lovestruck, eyes half lidded, panting and already hard. "Yes, it's all for you. Everything i do is." You tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear. A smile still beams on your face.
"This is the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me." You say breathlessly.
Ren's confidence begins to grow when he feels you slowly grinding into him. A smirk appears on his face, you let a small yelp of surprise, when he pushes up his leg in between your thighs. You pause for a second. "Go ahead angel. Don't stop now." That confirmation was all you needed to continue rutting into him. You resume your movements on his -still clad- leg. The friction of the cloth only pushing you to grind that much harder into him. Ren smiles, one hand on your waist to hold you steady, the other moving all over your body, eventually settling on your massaging your breasts through your shirt. "God." He sighs. "Angel, if I had known you were into this, I would've showed the extent of my devotion to you much, *much* sooner. Your only response is to moan. He kisses you again, deeper and more dominating this time. You melt into him completely.
Before you know it, you're being lifted off your feet as Ren carries you to the far end of the room where a large desk stands. He sets you down atop of it. In between more of your belongings and pictures. Ren latches his mouth onto your neck and your hands slip under his shirt. Before your eyes get a chance to roll back in pleasure, they spot a pair of your âprobably used- underwear on the desk. You let out a particularly loud moan as Ren continues leaving mark after mark on your skin. You remove your hands from under his shirt. One moving to grab the panties, the other finding it's place in his hair. You pull his head back with one sharp movement, there's a look of mischief in your eyes. You hold out the panties Infront of his face, balancing them on one finger. Ren moans, head bend at an awkward angle from the tight grip you hold on his hair. "How often have you jerked off using these?" You taunt him. Rens eyes widen, unsure of what to respond. "c'mon answer me. I know you do. You wouldn't have these otherwise."
Ren relents. "I- I don't know. Often. All the time. I think about you all the time." He whines. You feel yourself grow wetter at his confession. You take advantage of his panting and shove the panties into his open mouth, gagging him. He gladly accepts. "I bet this isn't your first time having them in your mouth. I bet you were wishing your mouth was on my pussy while you moaned and whined as you got off on my used underwear like a creep." Ren whines and nods his head pathetically in confirmation. Your free hand grabs hold of his face, squeezing his cheeks together, your face only an inch from his. "My creep.â
At that Ren breaks free from your hold with ease, removing the panties from his mouth, giving them one final lick, while never breaking eye contact. He takes both of your hands into one of his, pinning them Infront of you. He kisses you. "All yours. Only yours." He kisses you again. ''You're telling me you've never touched yourself thinking about me angel? I know you have. Or else you wouldn't be here. Reading this."
Ren continues kissing you, slowly moving down further with every kiss he leaves until he eventually reaches your core. He somehow manages do undo your pants with only one hand, the other still occupied with keeping your hands pinned. His teeth graze over your clit, still covered by your panties. "You're so fucking wet." He groans and proceeds to lick a stripe over the already soaked piece of cloth before taking them off. He stashes them away in his pocket, his face only inch from your aching cunt. "For my collection." He mumbles before finally putting his mouth on the place you need him the most. He moans into you. His free hand is placed on your hip to keep you steady.
Ren eats you out like a man starved. Lapping up your juices like water in a desert. His tongue going back and forth from circling your clit to dipping into your wet heat. You moan and buck your hips into his face. "Ah-yes. Use me. Use me to make yourself feel good." He says in between licks. He finally let's go of your pinned hands, opting to instead put his fingers to use by burying two of them in between your walls. He begins pushing in and out, excruciatingly slow at first. You whine. He says nothing, too busy sucking on your clit to respond.
You grab hold of his hair again, pushing his face deeper in between your legs. Grinding into him as though your life depends on it. Ren swears he's been sent to heaven. Here on his knees. Worshipping you on your shrine like the heavenly being you are. You own him completely. His heart doesn't beat to pump around the blood in his body, nor to keep him alive. It beats for you, and for you alone. It beats in an achingly painful, yet blissful, pace of love and devotion when it comes to you. Surely it would give out if he ever went but a second without you. He can only see, so he can stare at your divine beauty until his eyes dry out. He can only hear to take in the melody of your voice. He can only smell, so his nose fills with the scent of your sweet perfume. He can only touch, to trace his fingers over your silklike skin. He can only taste so that he can taste your sweetness on his tongue. And God, you taste oh so sweet.
His fingers begin to pick up the pace. Your body begins to stiffen and Ren knowns you're getting close. he's seen it a million times before. How your eyes squeeze shut, how you hold your breath as you begin to shake. It is so, so much better getting to see it in real life, up close. Getting to be the one that makes you cum.
He spells out his name with his tongue in his final licks, before sucking on your clit harder than ever before. You cum around his fingers and mouth. Hard. So hard you almost see stars. Your moans increase in volume, and you begin to shake, yet he doesn't stop, he doesn't even slow down. You squeeze your thighs around his head from the overstimulation and the moan he lets out his almost animalistic. His cock is so painfully fucking hard against his pants, yet he remains focused on you, fingers scissoring inside you, face covered in your slick. Your eyes fill with tears as you cum a second time. Ren finally pulls his head away; however, you're barely given room to breathe as Ren gets up and eagerly shoves his tongue inside your mouth. You happily accept what he offers, tasting yourself on his lips. He grinds into you and grunts. You notice how pent up he is and start moving your hand towards his hard-on. Before you get the chance to come in contact with it, he grabs your hand and does it for you, moving your hand over the bulge in his pants. He buries his face in your neck, breathing in your scent as he continues rutting into your hand. A wet patch beginning to form on the cloth of his pants.
You lift your hand away from his pants, in order to take off his sweater. He returns the favor by taking off yours, he places soft kisses onto your breasts. Your hands are now at the edge of his turtleneck. Your eyes meet his, your concern showing. "Can I take this off Ren?" He pauses for a second, contemplating it, before slowly nodding his head. He places his hands on yours, helping you remove the last piece of fabric standing in between him and his marred skin. His eyes search yours and he holds his breath, anticipating your response. Your eyes rake over his bare chest and arms. You drag your hands over him. "You're beautiful Ren."
He sighs in relief, he finds you smiling, eyes fixed on the tattoo of your name occupying his throat. You kiss it. Once, twice, trice. Mouth lingering longer each time. You move onto the scars on his arms, littering them with feather light kisses, as though you're afraid of hurting him. Ren's eyes begin to water. "I- I don't deserve you angel." His voice is fragile. "Love you s'much." Tears begin to fall. You take notice of them and wipe them away, oh so gently. Replacing them with kisses. "What are you talking about? If anything, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. No one's ever cared for me like this. I should be the one calling you angel." Ren places a kiss on top of your head, like you're the most precious thing in existence. "You deserve everything. you are everything." Ren responds breathlessly.
His mouth lands on yours again. He kisses you. Years of longing and pent-up emotion finally pouring out. He keeps one hand on your face, the other moves down towards your body. Tracing the curves of your bare skin. You move to unzip his pants, finally freeing his aching erection. His member throbs in your hand as you pump it up and down. You align it with your entrance. His eyes search yours and you nod before he starts pushing in.
He pauses once he's all the way in. Giving you time to get adjusted to his size. After a moment, your hands on his back start pushing him forward, urging him to start moving. He starts off painfully slow, teasing you by pulling out almost entirely, leaving his head at your entrance, before slamming back in. However, it doesn't take long for him to lose control, pounding into you. He barely registers muttering confessions into your ear. "Wanted this f''so fucking long angel. Love you s'much."
You gasp "I love you too Ren. Tell me every disgusting thing you've done. Please."
Ren obliges without hesitation, his only need to obey you, to please you. "I- I watch you through your webcam. I see everything you do all the time. I touch myself whenever you do, I match your pace, pretending like Iâm the one thatâs making you feel good. God I canât believe I finally get to have you.â
Your nails dig into his back, leaving scratches in their wake. "Fuck- yes mark me. Show everyone that we belong to each other." He grunts. You oblige and he starts repeating your name in a mantra, thrusting harder and harder in between each time he utters out your name. His hand moves down to your over sensitive clit and swear you begin to see stars. âYouâre close sweetness, I know.â Ren whispers lovingly. âMâtoo. Wanna fill yâup so bad.â He mumbles, barely audible.
You let go one final time, so intensely you thought youâd faint. Ren follows shortly after. Emptying himself inside of you. You stroke his hair as you both try to catch your breath. He eventually pulls out of you, his cum beginning to drip down your thighs. Your lips meet again and before you know it, youâre being carried to bed. He puts you down, covering you with the sheets, then slips in next to you, wrapping his arms around you. Youâre the first to fall asleep, Ren takes his time admiring you until he canât keep his eyes open any longer. That night, Ren slept better than he ever had before.
#14 days with you#14dwy#14dwy ren#14dwy redacted#male yandere#yandere#obsessive love#obsessive behavior#obsessivecore#yanderecore#yandere x reader#ren x reader#redacted x reader#reader insert#possessiveness#possesive love#possessive#yandere visual novel#male yandere x reader
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Age Difference
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader (slight age gap) Word Count: 1666 Request: Can i request something for Lando where reader is older then Lando by 5 or 6 years and reader worry's Lando will find someone his own age but he keeps on reassuring her he lover her so very much. Like a lot. And reder talk to max about it and how she thinks it's better if she leaves him so he can find someone his own age. But Max tells Lando who has noticed she has gone distance. Happy ending though please. Masterlist
Please do not repost, thank you, and leave some feedback :)
Y/N sat by the window, watching as the world outside went about its usual business, feeling uneasy and anxious. The difference in age between her and Lando was something she had always been conscious of but recently it had started to gnaw at her more insistently.
Lando Norris was vibrant, full of life and only in his mid-twenties, while Y/N was in her early thirties. It had never seemed like a big deal before but lately she had started to worry. The thought that Lando might want to be with someone closer to his own age, someone who could share his youthful energy and ambitions or was up to party until the early morning hours, had begun to plague her mind.
One evening while they relaxed on the couch together, Lando reached out to take her hand. He noticed the distant look in her eyes, the way she seemed lost in her thoughts. He had sensed her growing distress and wanted to address it before it became a bigger issue.
âY/N,â Lando began softly, his eyes full of concern, âIâve been feeling like somethingâs been bothering you lately. I just want you to know that I love you so much. More than anything. Iâm not just saying that, I mean it.â
Y/N looked at him, her heart aching. âI know you say that but sometimes I wonder if you really mean it. I worry that maybe youâre settling for me.â
Landoâs face grew serious and he gently squeezed her hand. âIâm not settling. Iâm with you because youâre everything to me.â
She could see the sincerity in his eyes and it warmed her heart but her insecurities still lingered. âI just donât want you to feel like youâre missing out on something because of me. Especially now that you're growing more popular, you could have so many other, younger girlfriends.â
âYouâre not holding me back,â Lando said firmly. âIf I thought for a second that being with you wasnât right Iâd tell you but thatâs not the case. Youâre my partner, my love and I wouldnât want to be with anyone else.â
Despite his reassurances Y/N found it hard to shake off her fears. As the days went by she became more preoccupied with the idea that maybe Lando would be happier with someone closer to his own age. She felt a growing distance between them, a distance that she couldnât explain but also couldnât ignore.
One evening she couldn't handle the overwhelming feeling anymore and she decided to talk to Max, Landoâs longtime best friend and the person who knew him best. Max had always been a voice of reason and she hoped he could provide some clarity.
Y/N sat across from Max in the cozy corner of her favorite cafĂŠ, her coffee cooling as she fidgeted with the edge of her napkin. The conversation had shifted from their initial casual chat to something more unsettling.
âIâve been thinking,â Y/N said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. âMaybe itâs better if I leave Lando.â
Maxâs brow furrowed in concern. âWhat do you mean? Why would you say that?â
âItâs just⌠I canât shake the feeling that Iâm holding him back,â Y/N explained, her eyes reflecting the turmoil inside her. âHeâs so young and full of life. I see him growing more popular and I worry that heâs missing out on experiences he could have with someone closer to his own age.â
Max took a sip of his coffee, his gaze steady on Y/N. âBut Landoâs made it clear that he loves you and heâs with you because he wants to be. Have you talked to him about this?â
âI have,â Y/N admitted. âAnd he says he loves me and doesnât want to be with anyone else but I canât help but feel like heâs saying that to not hurt my feelings. If Iâm being honest, thereâs a part of me that thinks he might be happier with someone whoâs more on his wavelength, someone who can share his lifestyle without these doubts.â
Max leaned forward, his expression serious. âY/N, love isnât just about shared experiences or age. Itâs about how you connect, how you support each other. From everything Iâve seen, Lando values you deeply. Heâs not the type to stay in a relationship just out of convenience or because he feels like he should.â
âI know,â Y/N said, her voice trembling. âBut itâs not just about what he wants. I keep thinking about whatâs best for him. Maybe Iâm not the best person for him and maybe it would be better if we both moved on. He deserves someone who isnât plagued by insecurities and doubts.â
Max sighed, shaking his head. âLook, I understand where youâre coming from. But you have to ask yourself why youâre so willing to give up on something thatâs important to both of you. Sometimes, the hardest part of a relationship isnât the age difference or the external factors, itâs facing the insecurities and challenges.â
âItâs just so hard, Max,â Y/Nâs eyes filled with tears again as she spoke, âI love him so much, but I donât want to be the cause of his unhappiness.â
Max reached across the table, placing a reassuring hand on hers. âIt sounds like youâre trying to protect him, but youâre also underestimating the strength of your relationship. If Lando has reassured you that heâs committed to you, then you need to trust that. If you really believe in your relationship, then you should be willing to fight for it, not just walk away because of fear.â
Y/N nodded slowly, her mind racing, but she still wasnât convinced.
________
Max and Lando were hanging out at Maxâs place, having a rare moment to unwind after a hectic week. Lando was in high spirits but Max had something on his mind that he needed to address.
âHey, Lando,â Max began casually, âI had a chat with Y/N recently.â
Lando looked up, his interest piqued. âOh? Howâs she doing?â
âSheâs been struggling with some doubts about your relationship,â Max said carefully. âShe mentioned feeling like maybe it would be better if she stepped away. Sheâs worried sheâs holding you back because of the age difference.â
Landoâs face clouded with concern. âShe said that? I thought we were getting through it.â
Max nodded. âYeah, sheâs been feeling insecure. She loves you a lot, but sheâs been thinking she might not be whatâs best for you.â
Landoâs expression softened with frustration and worry. âIâve told her over and over that Iâm with her because I want to be. The age difference isnât an issue for me. I just wish she could see that.â
âI told her the same thing,â Max said. âBut you know how these things are, sometimes itâs hard for her to believe it, even when itâs coming from you.â
âI need to talk to her again,â Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. âI want to make sure she knows how serious I am about this. If sheâs feeling this way, itâs clearly affecting her more than I realized.â
Max gave a supportive nod. âYeah, you should have another conversation. Let her know how much she means to you and that youâre not looking for anyone else. It might help her feel more secure.â
âI will,â Lando said firmly. âThanks for letting me know. I just want to fix this before it gets any worse.â
âNo problem,â Max replied. âIâm here if you need anything. Just remember, communication is key. Show her that youâre in this for the long haul.â
________
When Lando came home from training the next day he decided it was time to chat with her. âY/N,â he approached her, âwe need to talk.â
âWhatâs up?â
âY/N, I know what you said to Max, he told me and before you blame him for saying anything, I am so glad he did, because now I can address this with you before you make any stupid decisions,â Lando said and he saw the anxiety creep up into her eyes. âPlease, talk to me Y/N, whatâs going on?â
Y/N took a deep breath, her eyes meeting his with vulnerability. âIâve been worried about our relationship. About the age difference. I keep thinking that maybe youâd be happier with someone closer to your age. I donât want to hold you back or make you feel like youâre missing out. I know I've said it before but I'm really struggling with these thoughts and I can't stop thinking about it.â
Landoâs expression softened immediately. He stepped closer and took her hands in his. âY/N, it hurts me so much to see you like this. I need you to listen to me, really listen, and I need you to know that Iâm not thinking about being with anyone else. Iâm with you because I love you. The age difference doesnât change that, it doesnât change how I feel about you. I love you for who you are and I don't care how many years we have between usâ
Tears welled up in Y/Nâs eyes as she listened to him, the weight of her fears beginning to lift. âBut what if youâre just saying that because you donât want to hurt me?â
âNo,â Lando said firmly, his gaze steady and sincere. âIâm telling you the truth. Iâm with you because I want to be. Youâre not holding me back, youâre making me better and my life better. You're my everything. Iâm not looking for someone else or a different kind of relationship. Iâm here because I love you.â
Y/Nâs heart ached with relief as she threw her arms around him, tears streaming down her face. âI love you so much,â she whispered.
âI love you too,â Lando replied, his voice thick with emotion. âAnd I want us to work through this together. And we will.â
________
AN: Anon I hope you like it and if not let me know and I can rewrite đđŤś
#lando imagine#lando norris imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando angst#lando norris x reader#ln4 x reader#lando x reader
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Mediaeval Prisoner!Simon âGhostâ Riley had a proposition
your arrival at the celebratory ball was nothing short of extravagant. everyone was finally excited to put their talents to use again, from elaborate cakes and dresses down to new embroidered napkins. seems like everyone agreed to let the past few years go and enjoy life again.
the announcement of your arrival snapped you out of your thoughts, squaring your shoulders and wearing a polite smile as you entered.
everyone marveled at you. no longer was the bumbling, nervous maid but a strong leader who commanded the room without words. it was king price who spoke first.
âwelcome back to the capital, countess.â
âit is my honor, your majesty.â
âplease let the celebration begin.â
as you wound yourself through the open ballroom, one person wasnât here. his presence was always glaring, though absent or not. it just set off your anger even more. the coward couldnât even be here to face you. typical.
a hand caught your arm as you were lightly conversing with a foreign princess.
âapologies your highness, i must borrow the countess for a quick wordâ
âof course! let me know when youâre free again countess. iâd love to chat with you over tea sometime.â
âi shall be waiting for your call, your highness.â
as doctor laswell pulled you along, you couldnât help but look back as king price had approached the princess. he had taken her hand into his for a kiss upon her knuckles, which caused a blush to spread across her cheeks. perhaps you should ask about that later.
the wine you consumed throughout the evening had dulled your sense just a hair but not enough for you to miss the scenery changing.
âwait laswell, where are we going?â
âsomewhere you are going to hate me for. but not for long.â
familiar steps up into the one place you hadnât been in almost a year and a half. the tower. a pit formed in your stomach.
âkateââ
âplease just trust me and give him a chanceâ
âw-wha-â
she had promptly thrown you into the top of the tower without another word. your banging on the door and yelling of her name didnât sway her either.
âiâve tried that beforeâ
a voiceâ no. his voice echoed in the room.
you turned to see him, standing there in his traditional knights uniform. complete with a black chest plate, a red sash with medals adorning it, and a stark white painted helmet.
âyou look goregous, loveâ
âthat is countess to you.â you spit out angrily.
his shoulders deflated and admittedly, you hated it. you hated how much your words affected him and how much you cared.
âi suppose this is your doing?â
âmainly laswellâs but i did agree with it, countess.â
âif you have something to say then letâs get this over withâ
you leveled him with a neutral glare, mostly uninterested in what he had to say.
âthere was a lullaby my mum used to sing to me. it was about a sailor, who had lost his way because he couldnât see his love anymore. but his lover found a way to lead him back to shore with a light. taught me that sometimes if your lost, someone will always care enough to look for you.â
you remember this lullaby, it became popular when you were just a few years old. especially when you had befriended a child on your street with roughed up knuckles and knees, a voice whispering promises of protection, a blonde haired kid whoâ
you canât picture his face anymore, daydreams long since buried when his familyâs house burned down with all of them still inside.
âwhatâs your point lord riley?â
âit was the first song you sang in the stairwell.â
heâhe remembered? he was listening back then?
his eyes met yours, holding it with an emotion you had never seen before.
âthought it was my mum calling me to join her with my dad and little brother. but it was you.â
your mouth ran dry. you couldnât figure out where he was going with this.
âyou are the only other person who my mum taught the lyrics to.â
your stomach dropped. no, thereâs no way life had turned out like this.
âwe have a deeper connection than you remember, countess. i promised iâd always protect you, but i couldnât protect you from myself. a selfish bastard i was. wanting everything about you. to see your smile again. to hear your laugh.â
he had kneeled before you somewhere during his explanation, but you were in a trance with his words. involuntary tears started to stream down your face while your words mumbles out of your mouth.
âw-wait. weâd both been working in the castle for years, run into each other numerous times. did you know the entire time?â
âno. i always had an unexplainable need to keep you safe but i didnât know why until you sang. when i came to my senses and wasnât dying, i knew it was you. and i was going to use the rest of my life to stay by your side. even if iâm nothing more than a doormat for you to wipe the dirt off your shoes; so that you would still need me. because i love you. i always have.â
that last sentence is when you started sobbing. you couldnât keep it in anymore. the confusion, the relief, the joy, the need to figure this out. you started to pace in front of him trying to gather your thoughts until you heard movement.
and there he was. lord simon riley without his trademark helmet. nothing but the clean skin he showed with blonde hair atop his head, deep brown eyes, and scars littering his skin.
âoh my god si, it really is you.â
âiâm here my love.â
you pulled his head down to your height and kissed him with all the fervor you could muster. with all the years of desperation you had stored within you. one last question lingered in your mind as you pulled back.
â but wait, what of your fellow knights writing about calling you the count?â
a giggle escaped his lips as a grin bloom on his face.
âall bastards the lot of âem. teasing me for all they could. in truth, on our wedding day, i never would have become a count. would never take that lead title away from you, lovie.â
that lifted your spirits tenfold.
âoh, our wedding day? i havenât the faintest clue i was getting married.â you said as a teasing smile was portrayed on your lips.
he slithered his hands possessively around your body and pulled you flush against his armor.
âwould fight in a tournament just for your hand in marriage lovie. no one else gets you but me.â
âand donât you forget it.â
lord simon riley was many things to you. a friend in childhood, a knight who saved you, a stranger you became familiar with, and now the most exciting change of all.
a husband you would love unconditionally.
and even a future father who would do anything for his children.
<<PREVIOUS
THE END
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#task force 141#briarscreek#mediaeval prisoner!simon riley#prisoner simon riley#mediaeval simon riley
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Cupid (S.R)
Plot: Our favorite Doutor confess feels to his best friend also co-worker, Y/N.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAUFem!Reader
Contents: Really quicky mention to drinks, cases, makeout but fluffy for sure.
A/N: hello readers, I disappeared for a year because of work and college and a serious health problem but I'm better than ever and coming back to writing has brought me back to life. I hope you like her because she's cute, a couple from a romance movie basically, so like and share if you like it.
"Alright, Spence. What are your thoughts on the woman over there in the dark green dress? She looks elegant, charming, and quite attractive. She might even share an interest in the books you enjoy, donât you think? Whatâs your take?" I gestured toward the woman who had just taken a seat at the bar, alone. I was on a mission to play matchmaker for Spencer. Although he hadnât asked for my help, I thought it would be useful to offer a female perspective. Spencerâs inherent shyness meant he needed substantial guidance in social situations, especially when it came to women.
The ambiance was pleasant. We were seated at a table near the main entrance. Given that it was Thursday, the bar was relatively quiet, but it was the only day we both had free to unwind after a grueling series of cases in New York. Honestly, Iâm not sure whatâs been happening this past month, but Iâve reviewed so much material that when I close my eyes, I still see the words on the pages. And Spence? The poor guy has never analyzed so many maps in his life. I thought this break was well-deserved, and he certainly deserved a chance to spend time with someone special. Well, both of us could use a moment with someone, but Iâm on a cupidâs mission and need to stay focusedâno distractions, no more than three drinks.
"Sheâs attractive, but Iâm not fond of blondes, and she seems a bit too tall for my taste. I donât think it would work out," he replied. I frowned and looked at him with disbelief. This was the fifth woman he had dismissed that evening, and his options were rapidly dwindling. I downed my beer in one gulp and stared him down, hoping to make him realize it was now or never. "Spence, you donât need to be so selective. I understand itâs challenging for you, but youâre only looking for someone to kiss. Iâd love to kiss that girl! Sheâs stunning. Just approach her, buy her a drink, and then kiss her. Go on, now," I urged impatiently. He needed to make the first move.
"I understand, Y/N. Sheâs attractive, but I donât want to kiss her, thatâs all," he said, turning back to the bar and taking a sip of his whiskey. I knew him well enough to sense he was hiding something. This was a significant step for him, and despite our discussions about taking a break, he seemed reluctant to pursue it. Ugh, he could be so stubborn.
"I know thereâs more to it, love. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Am I being too pushy, is that it? Iâm sorry if Iâm a bad cupid. Iâll stop. Look, Iâm waving the white flagâpeace," I said, grabbing a napkin and waving it theatrically. I flashed a grin, and he chuckled. It was always like this: he was the serious one, and I was the humorous one. He loved books, and I adored movies. He was the little angel, and I was the little devil. "Very amusing, but I swear, I have nothing to hide from you," he assured me.
"Spencer..." I gave him my best puppy-dog eyes. He looked uncomfortable, but he started to speak anyway, with a hint of resignation in his voice. "Well, thereâs this girl Iâve developed feelings for... sheâs incredibly nice and fun. When she talks to me, I canât think of anything else. Iâm not sure how to articulate my feelings, but I donât want to kiss anyone else. Sheâs everything to me now." I was overjoyed and exhilarated. Iâd never seen Spence so in love before, and now he had someone special in his life. Of course, I felt a twinge of jealousy, but I was also genuinely happy for him. This was a delightful surprise.
"Spencer Walter Reid!! Why didnât you tell me this sooner?! Did youâ" I exclaimed, relieved that the bar was mostly empty. His face flushed red as he tried to cover my mouth with his hand. "Y/N, please donât shout!!! I didnât know sooner, I didnât realize it until now..." he explained. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my excitement. "Alright... you need to go talk to her right now and give her a proper kiss! Iâll handle things here. Just go for it!"
He looked at me wide-eyed, his hands on my shoulders. "You really think so? Are you sure?" I snorted. "Absolutely, go now." And thatâs when he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as if steeling himself for what he was about to do. His fingers gently gripped the back of my neck, his touch both tender and urgent. He leaned in, and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my skin before our lips finally met. I was stunned, my body tensed, and my eyes remained open for a moment, but his lips were so soft that I quickly surrendered to the kiss. Our lips moved together in sync, and I felt a profound connection. He wasnât as shy as Iâd thoughtâhe had a way with words and was incredibly sweet. I couldnât explain it, but he was perfect. Suddenly, I found myself bewitched by the very arrow of Cupid I had sent forth.
As we broke away from the kiss, I gazed at him, utterly bewildered, my heart racing with every beat. "Spence, what was that? You just..." I asked, my voice trembling with genuine confusion. He looked at me with an expression that blended sincerity and vulnerability before responding in a tone that was soft yet deeply meaningful: "Well, the truth is, the woman Iâve been admiring all along is you. Iâm sorry if this comes as a shock, but you asked me to act, so I did."
I was momentarily stunned, a whirlwind of emotions overtaking me. How could I have been so blind not to notice this sooner? I opened my mouth for the first time in minutes to speak my heart. "Spence, there's no need to apologize. I'm just... surprised! That was really something," I said, still trying to wrap my head around the moment. I paused, letting it all sink in. "So, does this count as our first date, or would you rather have a more traditional one?" I asked with an amused tone, trying to ease the tension that had built between us, feeling a bit uncertain about what came next.
"Oh, I definitely want another date. How about I take you out for dinner, and you wear that dark blue dress you had on at Rossiâs? I love the way it looks on you," he said, his words making a warm sensation spread through me. "Youâre so sweet, Spence. I hadnât really noticed it before. If Iâd known you kissed like that..." I replied with a laugh, hugging him tightly. "And you can bet Iâll wear the dress if it makes you happy." With a gentle caress on my face, I brushed his bangs off his forehead, feeling a bit strange about kissing one of my best friends, but I was glad he had the courage to confess something so significant.
I looked at his face again and could see him a bit embarrassed by the events of the night that had unfolded in a public place. It wasnât something he had planned, and he likes to plan things. "Y/N, may I kiss you a little longer?" he asked, his eyes searching mine for permission. Instead of answering, I pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss, savoring the moment.
Talk to me
Spencer Reid Masterlist
A/N: let me know if you want me to tag you
#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!readr#spencer x reader#spencer reid fandom#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid fluff
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Not really a request, at least not a super detailed one but, anything with Rosa Diaz x autistic reader would be amazing!!
Maybe R drops off some lunch or something for rosa and meets the rest of the squad or smth?
In general i am in love with your autistic!reader fics. Im currently in the process of being diagnosed with autism, and its just really rather comforting to see myself in a reader insert
-Ara
Hey, Ara! 𼰠So glad you enjoy the autistic!reader fics! They are some of my favorites to write. I was just diagnosed about a year ago, so it's still new-ish for me, but I also find a lot of comfort in the autistic reader inserts. Hope this is what you're looking for, and best of luck with your diagnosis process! Feel free to reach out if you need a fellow autistic pal to talk through stuff with! đ âilldowhatiwantthanks
A Little Lunch
Rosa Diaz x autistic!fem!reader Warnings: explicit language, overstimulation (the autism kind), established relationship (let me know if I missed anything!) Word count: 1.4k
Summary: People aren't your forte, but you told your girlfriend you'd have lunch with her at the precinct, and so you will. And it goes... surprisingly better than expected.
You took a few deep breaths outside the precinct door, sandwiches from Rosaâs favorite shop in hand. Youâd never visited her at work before, never met her coworkers. People werenât your strong suit. But Rosa had asked you. She didnât ask you for much. She liked to keep her work life separate from her personal life, for the most part. And the fact that she wanted you to meet her squad? Well, you couldnât let her down. You wouldnât.
The overhead lights were bright, and the general office noise was overwhelming when you stepped inside. You lurked in a corner, trying to acclimate yourself, trying to survey the room and find Rosa and calm yourself down so you could have a nice, normal lunch with your girlfriend.
You jumped a bit as a woman in a rolling chair slid in front of you, hands pressed together over her waist.
âIs that my Panera?â she said, staring at the bag in your hands.
âUh⌠no.â
The woman stared at you for a moment, and you shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze and felt the need to provide a reason for your presence.
âIâm, uh⌠Iâm here to see Rosa. Diaz. She's a detective. Do you know where she is?â
The womanâs face lit up. âOhhhh⌠interesting. Did she order Panera, too? Great minds.â She held out your hand for you to shake, so you did. âGina Linetti,â she told you. âDancer, secretary, genius.â
âGina, stop tormenting my girlfriend!â
Youâd know that voice anywhere. You visibly relaxed as Rosa walked into the squad room, placing a strong, protective hand at the small of your back.
Gina held up her hands, as if in defense. âSorry, Rosa. I thought she was Panera.â
âSheâs not Panera,â Rosa growled. âSheâs my girlfriend, and weâre eating lunch, and youâre leaving us alone.â
Rosa took your hand and led you through the precinct, into a break room scattered with tables where, alone and away from prying eyes, she planted a gentle kiss on your cheek.
âYou okay?â she asked softly.
You nodded and held up the bag of food. Rosa gestured toward the table and went to grab napkins and, for neither the first nor the last time, you were grateful that you often didnât need words with Rosa. You were comfortable in one anotherâs silence and, for you, this was life-changing. Your words were one of the first things to go when you got overstimulated, but Rosa never seemed to mind. For this, and for many other reasons, you loved her.
But youâd barely started on your lunch before people started trickling into the break room: Jake, Amy, Charles. All ostensibly eating lunch, too, even if theyâd already taken lunch, even if all they had was a bag of chips from the vending machine, as Jake did.
âSo, Y/N,â Amy started. âHow did you and Rosa meet?â
Rosa jumped in before you forced yourself to say anything. âHey,â she spat at the group crowding the table next to yours. âWhen I told Y/N she could meet me for lunch, I meant me. Not me and half the squad. Scram, losers.â
You gave a little half wave as they slunk out of the room, smiling a little as Charles mouthed off to you behind Rosaâs back: âWeâll catch up later!â
âSorry,â Rosa said a few minutes later. âI know they can be a bit much.â
You shook your head and squeezed her hand, able to find your voice again. âItâs okay. They seem nice.â
âIf by nice, you mean fucking crazy, then yes.â
A knock on the doorframe. At first, Rosa seemed annoyed by the interruption, but when she saw that it was Captain Holt she looked almost⌠proud?
âCaptain,â she said, rising from her seat and nodding at him. She gestured toward you. âThis is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, Captain Holt.â
You moved to stand and shake his hand, but Holt stopped you. âOh, no, please.â He sat down next to you, and Rosa seemed comfortable with him, so you decided that Captain Holt was someone you would like. âItâs lovely to meet you,â he said.
âYou too,â you replied, trying not to let your voice shake too much. You tried to think of something to say, tried to think of a topic of conversation, but you were floundering. Your voice was hard for you on a regular day, even sometimes with people you loved, like Rosa. You just couldnât manage to force anything out. You felt your cheeks growing red. You hoped you werenât embarrassing Rosa.
You couldnât have said all this to Rosa even if youâd wanted to, but Rosa always seemed to get it anyway.
âY/N, Captain Holt and his husband are going to the symphony tonight. I told him that was one of your favorites, too.â
You lit up. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Rosa, you thought. You loved the symphony. She was right; it was one of your favorites. Despite Rosaâs general indifference toward classical music, sheâd gotten you both season passes for your birthday. She didnât love the music, but she loved the way your eyes shone when you listened, the way you perched on the edge of your seat like a child. She loved that when she held your hand during the performances, she could tell when you were particularly moved because youâd get goosebumps and the hair on your skin would stand up.
âOh, itâs John William Weischselbraun tonight, right? Bachâs Oboe Sonata? That should be excellent!â
Holt looked about as excited as Rosa had ever seen him.
âYouâre a fan of the oboe, are you?â he asked, eyebrows raised.
âOh, yes, sir.â You nodded enthusiastically. âI played oboe in my high school orchestra. Itâs a severely underrated instrument.â
Rosa beamed at you as Holt reached out to shake your hand. âDiaz....â he said, shaking a finger at her. âSheâs a keeper.â
âYes, sir,â Rosa nodded.
He stared at her reproachfully. âI hope you take this fine lady to the symphony and not just to your rock concerts.â
âShe does, sir,â you assured him. âWe even have season passes.â And then you had what you thought was maybe one of your more brilliant ideas. âMaybe we could all go together, sometime? Me and Rosa and you and your husband?â
Rosa and Captain Holt stared at each other for a moment, and you were afraid youâd misread the situation terribly. Youâd always thought that Rosa liked Captain Holt, at least from the way she talked about him. You thought they were friendly with one another. Maybe youâd been wrong.
You tried to backtrack. âOr maybe not,â you blurted. âJust a thought.â
You couldnât help but smile at how quickly both Rosa and Captain Holt jumped to reassure you. So quickly that their voices overlapped.
âThatâd be great, babe.â
âNow, doesnât that sound nice?â
Gina rolled in front of the door to the break room. âCaptain, you have a phone call,â she yelled out as her chair rolled by.
âExcuse me,â Holt said, standing. He stood, pressed his hand over yours and said, âTruly nice to meet you, Y/N. I look forward to our mutual date.â
When heâd gone, Rosa stared at you. She was smiling. Really smiling.
âWhat?â you asked, your face reddening.
She leaned forward and kissed you quickly, her hand gently grasping your chin.
âWhat was that for?â
She tucked your hair behind your ear. âYou did really good today,â she whispered. âI know you were nervous. Thanks for lunch.â
You turned an even deeper shade of red. âAnytime. Or, well, sometimes.â
She smirked and kissed you one more time, pulling away quickly as Jake wolf-whistled from the doorway.
âShut your mouth, Peralta, or Iâll shut it for you,â she growled.
It was always so funny to you to see Rosa with others. So rough, so intimidating. When she turned back to you, she was soft. She was always soft with you.
âIâll see you tonight?â she asked, squeezing your hand.
You nodded, as you stood to leave, perching on tiptoes to kiss her on the cheek. Your voice had slipped back inside of you for the time being, so you simply squeezed her hand back and let her walk you out of the precinct.
Rosa watched you go, swinging your arms a bit as you walked down the sidewalk, and her heart ached. She loved you so much. Your quiet voice, that was always a gift to hear. Your swinging, fidgety arms. The fact that you loved her so much, so purely. She only hoped she could show you just as much love in return.
#rosa diaz#rosa diaz x reader#rosa diaz x fem!reader#rosa diaz x autistic!reader#x autistic!reader#rosa diaz fanfic#brooklyn 99#brooklyn 99 fanfic
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the escape plan â hwang hyunjin
word count: 3528
genre: fluff
pairing: reader x hwang hyunjin
description: you love working as a barista just because you love people watching. in this case, you end up watching hyunjin and his failed date. this is the one where you and hyunjin learn that the escape plan should've been plan A to begin with.
part of Summertimeâs Special Collab with @catiuskaa | series masterlist here
Itâs the way he smiles that makes chuckle from behind the counter.
The bar is full today, but then again, itâs full most nights. During the week, you mostly see older couples, and it fills your heart with warmth to imagine a life in which you get to grow old with someone next to you. But then you mind the bar and the older creeps flock in and, suddenly, celibacy is looking pretty good. The weekend is when the youngsters, like you, flock in.
Seeing people your age on dates is quite funny. It reminds you of why you used to like dates so much and, at the same time, hate them so much. You kind of miss it, the whole excitement of having a crush and getting ready for a date. Itâs the silly dances and the makeup process and the singing with a hairbrush that makes you softer for those moments past. But you just donât have time for that anymore, not with work getting busier by the second. For a minute, you wonder if tourist season came a couple of weeks early, judging by the new faces you see coming around⌠his included.
To be fair, you think every single bartender in that place stopped what they were doing to watch him walk in. He is definitely someone you will all gossip about in the back room, and from how your co-worker keeps elbowing you every time he moves, you know sheâs going to be your main source of entertainment during closing time. âOh my god, Y/N, just look at him,â She groans, putting the cup sheâs washing down in favour of leaning forward over the counter, as if she can just touch him like that. âHeâs so handsome⌠why canât it be me on that date?â
âOh, I donât think you want to be on that date,â You laugh, raising your brows while getting their drinks ready. He looks soft, gentle; kind enough to sit through what is visibly one of the worst dates youâve seen during your shifts so far. âThat smile is so fake Iâm afraid it might get stuck.â
âHow do you know? It might be the best! With a guy like him, Iâm sure it will be the bestâŚâ
âFor her, sure,â Putting the drinks on a tray and getting out from behind the counter, you get ready to go deliver them. Their table is in your section, and if youâre honest, a little snooping never hurt anyone. âBut him? Girl, heâs leaning away from her! Heâs basically wincing! Donât be so superficialâ just cause heâs pretty doesnât mean thatâs all he cares about!â
âGo find me some gossip!â She whispers with a wink and basically pushes you off.
Being a bartender isnât what you want to do for the rest of your life. The thought of figuring the rest of your life out, though, makes you shiver in horror. You donât really see a point in planning the future if that means you canât really live in the present, and so for now, for this moment, this you, this time, you love your job. You love interacting with people, you love listening to stories through the counter, you love when people ask you to make a drink you think theyâll like. Deep down, you know you wonât stay there forever, but thatâs just not something youâre ready to face yet.
âExcuse me,â You announce yourself quietly, approaching from the side so you donât accidentally spill anything on them.
There is an order to serving tablesâ first the napkins, then the cups, then a gentle smile and a small bow before walking away. Despite your words, the goal is to be a ghost, almost like the cups appeared there without a presence looming over the guests. But you move slowly, youâre gracious, polite, and definitely curious.
ââŚand then like, they fired me!â Her voice is almost squeaky.âBecause I told them I wouldnât take a meeting from the hairdresser!â
âBut⌠it was during your work hoursâŚâ
This is the first time you hear his voice and it shocks you. Itâs lower than you expected and oh so quiet, like he regrets saying the words even before he says them. You cough a little, hiding the laughter bubbling in the back of your throat. And he must have heard you because he immediately glances up, eyes meeting yours and itâs almost like, when he notices your pursed lips, it unlocks something in him that makes his lips purse too. The speed in which you both look away is comical, but now you know he knows. The bridge between you two has been shattered and now, itâs like you canât keep crossing.
âYeah, but they still should respect my personal boundaries, you know?â This is the moment she looks up at you, eyes lingering a little too long as if sheâs questioning why youâre still there. âAnyways, should we get some food? Could you bring us the menu?â
âOf course, Iâll be right back.â It takes you a minute to grab the menu and return. âHere you go, maâam, what can I get for you?â
She rattles off some random items and you make sure to memorise them before turning to him. âAnd you, sir? What can I get you?â
âOh donât bother, heâll be sharing what Iâve ordered.â
When she says this, youâre still turned to him and heâs looking right at you, and both your eyes go wide. âCould you please show me where the bathroom is?â He asks instead, and you nod while he gets up and tells his date âIâll be right back.â
The restrooms are on the upper section of the bar, and you take him upstairs with a stupid smile on your face. He looks like heâs around your age and the long, tired sigh you hear coming from behind you is the last drawâ you start laughing out loud, only looking back at him when you get to the top of the stairs. He looks like heâs amused at your reaction yet tortured because of his reality.
âYouâre laughing because itâs not you sitting across from her!â He gasps, head falling in his hands dramatically. âI donât even need the bathroom, I just need to get out of there!â
Giggling, you nod. âIt does seem like itâs not going well.â
âOh god, even you guys noticed?!â
âTo be fair to you, we see dates going all kinds of ways here, so itâs a part of the job.â
For a second, he falls silent, eyes stuck on yours like heâs trying to speak directly into your soul. âI need an escape plan,â He mumbled, head cocking to the side. âAnd you might just be it.â
âSorry?â Your eyes go wide at his suggestion. âI canâtâ I mean, you can just tell her, no? Justââ
âOh come on, youâve seen dates going all kinds of ways and you think I can just tell her?! Are you crazy?! Iâll be lucky if she doesnât throw a drink on my face!â
âWhy did you even ask her on a date? Poor girl thinks she has a really handsome guy into her and youâre planning an escape,â You asked, looking around to make sure no one is listening to your conversation. The last thing you need is a snoopy client deciding to interfere and tell the girl themselves. Youâve seen it happen and you were the one having to separate the fight.
âI didnât!â Whining, he stomps her foot on the ground like a child and your brows shoot up in curiosity. âMy friend set me up because I havenât really been going out lately, and itâs not like I was desperate, you know? I was just⌠busy! But he set me up regardless and he said he met her at a party because sheâs his friendâs cousinâs best friend or something like that and I thought âhow bad can this be?â but as it turns out it can be really, really bad and I just want to go home and watch some TV with my dog!â
The way he is panting by the end of his rant has your heart squeezing out in sympathy for him. Youâve had had your fair share of bad dates, and it always feels more urgent than they actually are, but in the moment, while you pretend to be someone youâre not and smile at things you normally wouldnât, all to appease someone you have no intention to see again, itâs a terrible sensation. Feels like getting lost, like you push yourself so far away that you worry if youâll ever find your way back. And it made you feel guilty, knowing you were purposefully lying to someone who seemed to be having a good time, although by themselves.
Itâs not like you, to interfere and meddle, but he looks so upset with those plump, pouty lips that even you canât resist it. âFine,â You mumbled, straightening your back abruptly. âBut youâre paying for her! Donât be a dick! Just⌠Just follow my lead.â
âYou are my saviour!â He cheered. âIâm Hyunjin, by the way.â
âNice to meet you, Hyunjin,â You smile, offering him a hand to shake. âIâm Y/N. Also known as your escape plan.â
What follows next is a really intricate plan. He will go back. He will smile. He will listen to her and give her the attention he craves because as much as he seems to be hating this date, she isnât and you are not to make her night the worst night of her life. While he does all that, you will grab the food she ordered and you will bring it to her. In your tray, a mysterious drink will sit dangerously by the edge and as you put the food down, the weight shift will destabilise your hand and suddenly Hyunjin will be covered in liquid. He will then be very upset about it, and order the bill, which he will pay in full. Then, he gets to go home should your plan work.
âYouâre a genius,â Hyunjin whispers before returning to his table, and you canât help but laugh at him.
All in all, you understand why the girl looks at him like how she does, youâre pretty sure anyone around him is looking at him like thatâ impressed and slightly intimidated. Hyunjin is a beautiful manâ he is way past handsome, at this point, and you would describe him as beautiful. His lips are full and his eyes are sharp, and his laughter, even in misery, sounds like fine tuned music. For a second, you let yourself imagine what it would be like to be the one sitting in front of him. He seems charming enough, from your brief interaction; would you have fun? Would he want to escape you, too, or would he stay? Shaking your head, you go back to the counter.
âDid I see you go upstairs with Mister Handsome or do my eyes deceive me?â Of course she was watching you.
âYour eyes are right, but your mind deceives you,â Rolling your eyes, you canât quite hide the slight blush tainting your cheeks at her insinuation.
âYou cannot seriously tell me you donât think heâs cute,â She squinted, stepping closer to you with a teasing smile you ignore, you still have to load the tray and make a random drink.
âI never said that,â You whisper, trying to keep the conversation private even though you two are in a very open space. âBut I donât know the guy. All I know is that he asked me to get him out of that date so⌠here I go.â
Everything goes according to plan. Hyunjin is acting like a gentleman by the time you make it to his table, and the cup of the mysterious, too colourful concoction falls perfectly in his lap. You act the part, too, apologising repeatedly for the accident while pulling out tissues from thin air to try and help him dry off. âSir, I am so, so sorry!â Maybe you are verging on overacting, but what do you know about that? Youâre a bartender, not a Hollywood star.
The fatal mistake, though, is when your eyes meet again. This time, you canât help yourself and you snort, so loudly and unload like that it catches everyone by surprise. The tables around are either laughing or gasping and you canât help the way your entire face goes red, actually embarrassed about this stupid, stupid plan. What were you even thinking when you agreed to this? âIââ Even your hands shake, the nervousness of your sudden self-awareness getting the best of you with all those eyes burning your back.
âItâs okay.â
Somehow you hear him above the screeching screams of the poor girl sitting in front of him. âY/N, itâs okay,â Hyunjin whispers, shaking his head with a hint of a smile that is not mocking nor cocky. His smile, all pretty and cute, is just as comforting as the little nod he sends your way, reaching towards the floor to pick up the tray with one hand and help you up with the other. Itâs steady and large, his hands, and you canât help but freeze a little when he touches your elbow, pushing you upwards with a smile. âThere you go. Thank you, Iâll come to the counter to pay in a second.â
That is not part of the plan, but you just nod, scurrying away as fast as you possibly can.
This feels weird. Youâre not shy. Never have been, actually, which is what makes you so happy working with people; you crave the social interaction, love the conversations, smile at the compliments. It fuels you, knowing that, at some level, youâre making someone happy, even if just for a second when they get their food or their drink. It makes you feel happier, too. Well, usually it makes you feel happier too, but, now, there is nothing you want more than to disappear. âY/N! Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?â
âCan you mind the bar for a few minutes?â You mumble, already making your way to the back door. âI just need a second.â
The back room is every baristaâs safe place. Itâs where everyone goes when things are getting a bit too much and they need a second. Right now, you really need a second. You need to ground yourself again, remember that the present is good enough and there is no need to project the future, especially not a crazy fantastical version of it. Sitting down on a chair, you let your head fall in your hands, eyes closed as you just enjoy the quietude of it all. Itâs easy, creating a whole scenario in your head, when a guy like Hyunjin is being so kind and gentle and funny. And itâs easy to forget the consequences, too, even if you canât stop laughing at it.
Itâs the cringeness of it all that gets to you, the way you replay that scenario in your head again and again and you shiver and shudder at the memory of you trying to clean the purposeful mess you made while everyone around stared at you. Chuckling, you shake your head. âY/N, you are a very silly person,â You mumble to yourself, getting up with a final deep breath. Your co-worker pops her head in the room before you can even take a step towards the door.
âHey, your table paid and left. You can come out now, the cute guy wasnât angry.â
Somehow, that doesnât make you feel any better to know he just⌠up and left. But you nod regardless, smiling weakly at her. âThanks,â You mumble and then itâs right back to work.
The rest of the night is uneventful. Boring, almost, and you canât help but feel uncomfortable. Like you had just done something you were going to regret, like⌠like you had just been used as a means to an end. âI got it,â You grab the keys before your colleague can. âGo home. You did great tonight, Iâll close up.â
At this point, you just feel like being alone. What started as a good day has quickly gone off the rails, and you donât particularly regret anything, but you need some time to process everything that happened in the past few hours. And thatâs okayâ all you need is time, nothing else, nothing less.
Ironically, it seems like time is all you donât have.
âY/N.â
You almost trip on your foot, mountain of cups in your arms about to go down had it not been for his reflexes, hands catching you at the very last minute. âJesus Christ! Hyunjin! What are you doing here?!â Itâs like he has some kind of weird power over you, face immediately on fire at the feel of his hands on your arms.
âI came to thank you!â His hands go up in defence and you laugh. âYou disappeared after the whole escape plan and I couldnât thank you properly!â
âSo you thought that sneaking in at almost three in the morning when Iâm alone in an empty bar was the best way to thank me?â You whisper, eyes wide like a kid whoâs afraid to get in trouble. You canât stop the incredulous smile playing on your lips, though, and you snort a laughter out. âI just met you and this is kind of creepyâŚâ
This time around, heâs the one that looks startled. âIâm not creepy!â He is so dramatic with his gasp and his hand over his heart. âI came here to say thank you andââ Hyunjin pauses, face a bit blushed. âAnd you know, I owe you one. You were so nice to help out and you embarrassed yourselfââ
âI wouldnât say I embarrassed myselfââ You cut off quickly, face falling on your hands in a clear contradiction to your words.
âY/N, donât kid yourself, that was embarrassing,â Hyunjin snorted. The tension, the one that floated in the air for the first seconds of this interaction and the one on your shoulders whenever you thought about the burning sensation of people staring at you, is gone, and left behind is just thisâ the giggling, the stepping around each other, the getting to know more. You like this⌠and it feels too natural for something that looks so misplaced. This kind of interaction, this kind of back and forth, the joking and the banterâ this is what makes a good first date, in your opinion.
But this canât be a date⌠right?
Y/N, stop daydreaming, you think to yourself.
âBut it was hilarious. And it was a favour,â He continues, finally taking one, then two steps towards you. âAnd I want to repay you.â
âYou donât have toââ
âI really want to,â He says, wincing a little at how desperate he sounds. âOkay, I see how Iâm coming off as creepy. But! In my defence! I donât know your number and I donât know your schedule!â
You just raise your brows at him.
âAt this point there is no escaping my fate,â Hyunjin chuckles, but before he can say or do anything else, he looks at the counter. There are some cups, pens, and notepads you still have to put away. âMay I?â
You just nod, eyeing him curiously. âWhat are you doing?â
âThis,â Hyunjin says, ripping a piece of paper he scribbled on and giving it to you. âIs my number. Text me tomorrow? I really want to pay you backâŚâ
âAnd how will you pay me back? Unfortunately, I donât think there will be an opportunity for you to trip and spill a drink over me any time soon.â
âI mean, come out to get a drink with me and Iâm sure I can arrange that.â
You stutter, eyes wide when he just shrugs. âW-What?â
âOr a coffee!â He quickly says, nodding excitedly. âAnything. Dinner, lunch, coffee, drinksâ whatever sounds less creepy right now, cause Iâm really nervous Iâm coming across like a stalker and I donât want to scare you off orââ
âOr I might be the one needing an escape plan?â You joke, grabbing your phone from your pocket and typing in the number he has just given you.
With quick fingers, you quickly send him a message: hey :) drinks sound good.
Hyunjin frowns at the buzzing coming from his phone at such an early hour. But the smile on his face when he reads your text is just breath-taking, and yes, maybe youâre being superficial, or maybe youâre not, but the way your heart picks up a little is not superficial at all.
âDrinks it is,â Hyunjin nods, trying to hide a smile. âI know just the place.â
âI swear to god if you say here I willââ
âGreat service, great foodâ it makes sense!â
âGo home you creep.â
There is a pause before he turns around to leave. You can hear the smile in his voice when he calls your name. âAnd Y/N?â
âYeah?â
âItâs a date.â
-----------------------------------------
Wohooooo Hyunjin's is out >.< I'm loving writing for this series!!! as always, make sure to go to @catiuskaa profile to go check out her incredible pieces for this series and her general masterlist!
#stray kids#hwang hyunjin#lee minho#seo changbin#bang chan#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#stray kids imagine#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#stray kids x reader#skz#hwang hyujin imagines#hyunjin stray kids#hyunjin skz#hyunjin one shot#summertime's special collab series#skz x reader#skz imagines#skz one shot
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compos mentis 2
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, chronic health issues, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: After a long court case, your mother stays attached to her lawyer, bringing even more contention into your life.
Characters: Andy Barber
Note: ookay here we go with this guy.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. Iâm trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I havenât forgotten those!) Please do not just put âmoreâ. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. đ
The restaurant is buzzing with voices. It adds the disorienting ripple in your head. It feels like thereâs something crawling over your scalp as you try to blink away the haziness. Itâs just fatigue. That never goes away, only ebbs and flows.
You sit on the leather cushion of the curled bench. The booth is lit by a small chandelier hanging above and the plucking of strings strums under the drone of patrons. The sconces against the wall are blurry and bright and the people all around are merely shadows.
The server appears and doles out the food. You got the butternut squash soup with a French bread roll. With the weather turning chill, it sounded delicious. Besides, you donât have the stomach for anything heavy.
You glance over at Andyâs thick sirloin and your motherâs glazed chicken. Your hunger roars in your stomach. You shakily unwrap the cutlery from the cloth napkin and thank the server as your mother taps her glass. The man, in his pressed white shirt, smiles and pours her some more. Andy clicks his tongue but says nothing.
âAnyone else?â The server offers.
âWeâre good,â Andy answers for both of you.
You could laugh, if you had the energy. Anyone would look at you and know you shouldnât be indulging. No, you have your lemon water and thatâs good enough.
âThis looks delicious,â your mother chirps and takes a gulp of chardonnay, a hum at the flavour. âOh, that is divine too.â
âI hope you enjoy. Both of you,â Andy says. âI know you had a busy day.â
His elbow touches yours, almost as if itâs intentionally. You look at his shoulder but no higher. You steady the spoon over the bowl and dip it into the soup. You lean forward to taste as your mouth jabs into one of the slices of grilled chicken.
âMm, the maple is nice but a bit much,â she complains after a sampling.
Andy exhales slowly, measuring his breath as if to conceal his sigh. Itâs strange. He seems annoyed by your mother more often than not and yet he takes her out for dinner and got her that fancy ring. You donât understand relationships. Not past the shallow ones written onto the screen. You probably wonât ever know the real thing.
You rest your spoon on the wide brim and take a piece of the bread. Itâs still warm and it smells wonderful. You pinch off a morsel and dip it into the creamy broth. You nibble on it, resisting the urge to shovel it down.
âYou sure the soupâs enough?â Andy asks. Again. He questioned you when you ordered an appetizer over and entree. He even offered to get an appetizer for the table instead.
âOh, sweetie,â your mother swallows around her words. âYou know she doesnât eat very much. Her stomach is so sensitive. And look, thatâs such a lot of soup. She probably wonât even finish the bread.â
You nod. You could gobble it all down but you know better. Youâve been sick before from letting your appetite deceive your mind. Sheâs right. Youâll be full soon enough. Your stomach always starts to ache after a few bites.
âAh, sorry. I donât mean to pester. I just want to make sure you have everything you like. If you wanted a piece of my steak, I think thereâs a lot more than I need here,â he chuckles and cuts into the sirloin.
âOh, she canât have red meat. Too heavy for her,â your mother tuts. âReally, Andrew, you are so sweet to offer though.â
âYes, thanks,â you murmur as you squish bread between your fingers. Youâre suddenly very conscious of every bite you take.
âSo, any more doctorâs appointments?â He asks. âI could come along next time? Since weâre gonna be one big family. Iâd like to help out if I can. All this work shouldnât be on you, Danica.â
âOh, my,â your mother slurps more wine. âYou really are a dream,â she touches his sleeve. âThat would be wonderful. Nothing this week though. Just next month but she does need her script filled. If you donât mind getting that, it would be a great help.â
You want to shrink into a speck of dust. You hate it. Youâre rarely ever included in conversation. Not for real. Youâre only ever the topic of discussion, like youâre not even there.
âMom, I told you,â you insist and wipe soup from your oxygen tube. âI can go get it. It isnât very far.â
âNo, no, no. I told you before. You cannot take the bus. Itâs absolutely out of the question. You could get caught on something or worse, you could fall.â
âHm, thatâs... sheâs an adult, Danica, if she wanted to--â
âAndrew, you donât know the risks. I do.â
He opens his mouth then shuts it. His lips thin as he holds back his retort. He saws into the steak.
âWell,â he looks at you, âif youâd like to come along, I can always drive you.â
âI can just do it myself,â your mom insists sharply.
âRelax,â he warns. âShe wants to do it herself, she can. Sheâs not entirely helpless, is she?â
You chew your lip. Your mother has that look. The dangerous one. Andyâs never seen what it can truly lead to.
âWhatever is less trouble,â you utter and focus on your soup. âSorry.â
âSorry for what?â Andy challenges, âyou did nothing.â
You nod and take another spoonful. Itâs really good but you canât truly enjoy it. You just want to go home. Away from these strangers. Home where you can be alone. Where you can put some walls between you and your mom. You know youâve already ruined her night just by being there.
đŠˇ
Your mother almost finishes the bottle. Thatâs not unusual but since she met Andy, itâs less frequent. As you leave the restaurant, sheâs leaning heavily on him, her heels click unevenly as one shoe keeps slipping loose. You follow, clutching tight the handle of your tank.
You stop by the SUV as your mother purrs and wraps her arm around Andy. She squeezes his butt and you look away, slowing as you try not to intrude. He flinches and pushes her away, clearing his throat.
âDanica,â he girds quietly, âplease, not here. Youâre drunk.â
âIâm not, I feel good,â she slurs.
Embarrassment scalds across your chest and down your spine. You never wanted anyone else to see her like this. You know itâs not her fault. Itâs yours. Sheâs stressed from taking care of you and gets a little carried away trying to unwind.
âYouâre all over,â Andy gets her to the passenger door as she staggers clumsily, âcome on.â
He angles her around with one arm around her back and opens the door. He gets her into the seat as she giggles and her hand flutters down his shirt. He pulls away as he catches her hand before she can get any lower. You linger by the back of the car and act like youâre not watching.
He mutters but you canât make out his words. He clicks the seat belt around your mom and slams the door. You wince and the wheel of your tank squeaks. He sighs and his shadow turns to you.
âHey, sweetheart,â he opens the backdoor, âcome on. Iâll get you two home.â
You nod and come forward, head and shoulders down. âThanks,â you drag your tank with you, âsorry.â
âSorry, for?â He wonders.
You sniff and shake your head. You donât know how to answer. How do you explain the truth to him?
âHere,â he reaches for your tank as you say nothing. âLet me help.â
You have to keep from crying out and reach to shove him away. Youâre overly protective. You have to be. Thatâs what keeps you going and youâre just not used to other people touching it. He lifts it as he nudges you gently.
You grab the side of the door and haul yourself up. You heave as you fall into the seat, light-head and he fits the tank in in front of you. He reluctantly lets it go and tickles your knee.
âYou okay?â He asks.
You watch his hand. You nod and grab the seat belt, âfine.â
âHmm, I should probably look into some more accessible, huh?â
âNo, no,â you protest weakly. âI manage.â
âWell, sweetheart, you shouldnât have to just manage. You should be comfortable. Thatâs why I took your case.â He brings his hand up and surprises you as he brushes your cheek. You twitch. âYou like dinner?â
âYes, sir,â you answer and flatten yourself to the seat. âThank you.â
He hums and tickles your skin before he recoils. He draws back and grabs the door. He gently shuts it as his eyes cling to you. Your heart is racing. Youâre breathless yet that isnât so unusual.
He gets in the front seat and your mother babbles and reaches for him again. He swats her back and starts the car. She mutters and slumps into the door.
âDanica,â he says. She doesnât respond. He repeats it louder. She snorts. He curses under his breath. Youâre happy she passed out, itâs worse when she doesnât.
You sit in silence as Andy backs out of the space. He looms rigidly as you shrink as small as you can. Usually, heâs nice. He has this way about him that you assume comes from being a lawyer. He makes himself approachable. But not right now. Heâs agitated. You can feel it fuming off of him.
âIâm sorry,â you eke out as the tension strangles you.
âYou donât need to apologise for her,â he insists with another sigh.
âBut... she drinks because of me. I know.â You say. âBecause Iâm sick.â
He clucks and squeezes the wheel tighter. âNo, thatâs a bad excuse. Sheâs an adult.â
You donât argue. Thereâs no reason too. For once, someone isnât blaming you. Besides, how far did it ever get you.
He drives on and you turn to watch the dark buildings pass outside the window. The moon is a sliver above and the stars a speckle around the wisps of clouds. You stare up into the expanse, admiring the streaks of dark blue, black, and grey.
As the car slows, you tear your eyes from the sky. You blink in confusion. Youâre not at your house, but Andyâs. Youâve been there once before.
He shuts the engine off then sits back and spreads his hand across his forehead, âIâm so sorry, sweetheart. I just realised Iâm at the wrong house.â
You stay silent. You thought your mom was asleep. He turns to look at you as he flicks on the compartment light. You squint at the sudden brightness. He means you.
âDo you need anything at your house?â He asks. âMedicine or...â
âItâs... in my pack,â you touch the belt bag across your stomach. âTankâs mostly full.â
He nods and looks you over, âIâm sorry. Itâs been a long night. You donât mind the guest room?â
You shake your head. You donât want to make his life any harder. And he should apologise to you. No one does that. They donât owe you that.
âAlright, again, I know itâs not easy for you. Probably a lot cozier at home,â he turns straight and shuts off the light. âLet me get your mom inside.â
He unbuckles his seat belt and his keys jingle as he opens his door. You click the button on your belt and pull the handle. You push outward and the door is pulled from the other side. Andy appears in front of you. He helps get your tank to the ground and offers his hand.
You donât want to be rude so you let him help you down. You wheel around your tank as he shuts the door, the opens the passenger side. He ducks into the car and drags your mom out. He stands straight and shuts the door with his elbow.
âSorry to ask but could you unlock the door? Code is...â he gives you the numbers and you blink as you try to keep track of them.
âOkay,â you nod and shuffle past him as he waits. You go up the walk and lift your tank up the low stone steps. Youâre overly aware of him behind you.
You get to the door and stare at the keypad. As you enter the numbers, you realise theyâre familiar. It must be a coincidence. In a certain format, they would denote your birthday. The pad flashes green and the door clicks.
You push down the lever and step back out of the way.
âGo on,â he nods.
âNo, itâs okay,â you say. âMom needs to lay down.â
He looks down at the woman in his arms then at you. Even in the dark, you see his disappointment. Again, you canât help but wonder why he puts up with her. You have no choice, as she has no choice in taking care of you, but he does.
âYouâre a good daughter,â he says as he slowly steps past you.
You trail after him, your tank bouncing through the door, and you shut it behind you. You stand on the mat and roll your wheels back and forth, trying to get the excess dirty from them. Then you sit to take off your shoes.
âYou can turn on a light,â Andy chuckles as his shadow looms over you.
You stare up at his silhouette. Heâs close. He must not realise it in the dark. You turn and flip the switch.
He smiles as he keeps a hold of your mom, âIâll put her on the couch for now,â he says, âthen Iâll get you settled.â
You nod and bend to move your shoes onto the rack. You donât look up again. Youâre hot. Very hot, even though cool air flows from the vent just across from you. Itâs just because youâre used to being at home. Thatâs it.
#andy barber#dark andy barber#dark!andy barber#andy barber x reader#series#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#au#defending jacob#compos mentis
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congrats on 300+ followersđŤśđ˝
request: what about seongwha who's super soft spoken & the sweetest guy in front of everybody but when we're alone he's soooooo nasty and dominant it's something people never expect. "shy freak" persona
All Tied Up
Boyfriend Seonghwa x Afab reader
Summary: The universe blessed you with the best boyfriend to exist and everything is perfect but you can't help but to want more from your sweet boy
Genre: Fluff and Smut
Warnings: Dense acting Seonghwa (kinda lol), Technically trickery but you'll get it, nicknames
Smut warnings: Bondage, choking, drool, squirting, Oral sex (F receiving), mentions of losing virginity
A/N: Sorry I'm taking forever to finish this life kinda sucks :( but I only have 1 more to go for this event!
Minors dni
The amazing smell of chocolate and marshmallows along with the pleasant steam coming from the cup of hot coco in your hand started to hit your face. Both your gloved hands gripped the sides of the cups sleeve while you stood to the side for your boyfriend to finish paying for your drinks and snacks, he walked over with a bag of pastries and his own hot drink to convene with you again so you two could find an open table to sit down at in the crowded pop up cafe. You had been begging Seonghwa to take you to the temporary winter wonderland themed cafe for a few days since you thought it was cute that they had a mini ice skating area attached. He of course bought the tickets the day you asked and wanted to surprise you with a fun date over the weekend.
Once you two finally found a table that was a bit isolated in the corner you both sat down side by side and Seonghwa passed out the pastries he had bought, you couldn't make up your mind about what you wanted so he got 1 of each of the specialty baked goods, you felt bad he was always so willing to come out of pocket and buy you everything you wanted without hesitation but he always said he just enjoyed seeing you get what you deserved.
"Thank you Seonghwa! This is all too much though, you didn't have to do all this, or at least let me pay you back." you said as you sipped your hot chocolate trying not to burn your tongue.
"You know I would never ask you to pay me back my flower, just make sure you let me show you extra love later." He replied, you were offering to pay him back even though you only had lip gloss and a phone charger in your purse, but at least you offered, you knew no matter what he was going to take care of you. "Now let's enjoy the treats that we got, okay?" You nodded in agreement.
While you two were enjoying the pastries an older woman walked passed, and stopped. "What a beautiful young couple you two are." she said warmly as she smiled at you both.
Before you could thank her Seonghwa started to reply.
"Thank you but the beauty comes from her, I'm just the guy obsessed with her." Seonghwa said as he returned a smile to the woman, your face got hot from the compliment.
"Oh, a gentleman too, you two are lucky to have each other." She chuckled before continuing to walk away.
Seonghwa and you waved her goodbye and you continued to eat the last of the chocolate croissant you had, you could see Seonghwa watching you eat and then he giggled, you looked over at him. "What?"
"It's nothing you're just so cute when you eat, you even got some chocolate on your cheek." He took a napkin and gently rubbed the leftover chocolate off your face, then gave your cheek a quick peck. "You're so cold my flower, why didn't you say anything? Here take my scarf." He removed his scarf from his neck and started to wrap it around yours.
"I didn't say anything because I knew you were going to do that, now what if you get cold?" You pouted as he finished tucking the scarf securely around your neck.
"I'll have my love to keep me warm, or something lame like that." He smiled at you warmly.
"You're right that was lame." You chuckled a bit, your eyes met for a moment before you two kissed. You and Seonghwa had been dating for a few months and the relationship couldn't have been better, he was kind to you and others, your parent's loved him, your friend's loved him, he was just the best spouse. The only issue was that you two were going on 7 months of being together and he still hadn't made a move toward sex. Though not having sex with you right away fit perfectly with his gentleman persona, but you had needs, it was nice that he wasn't rushing you into anything but you started to feel like a sex crazed animal at times because every small thing he did started to turn you on, his small acts of kindness, the way he talked, how he cuddles you on the couch while you watched movies, you two hadn't even French kissed yet and every time he licked his lips you just wondered how his long tongue would feel exploring your body. Seonghwa has never even spent the night at your house, you haven't even gotten to see him shirtless yet but you had a plan, if he was too much of a gentleman to make a move then you had no other choice but to take matters into your own hands.
"Y/N? You okay? You kind of zoned out there." Seonghwa asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah! Uh, so since it's getting late I was thinking we could watch movies at your place or mine, maybe a christmas movie marathon ?" You presented the idea to him, this was going to be phase 1 of your plan to get into Seonghwa's pants.
Seonghwa finished his hot chocolate and smiled at you. "Sure that sounds fun, it got pretty dark anyways, we can head to my apartment." He started to gather all the trash to clean the table and you two headed out.
...
You two were on your second movie, it was getting pretty late at this point which was perfect, you could now move into phase two.
You fake yawned and stretched while Seonghwa held you in his arms. "Boy it got so late so fast, I sure am tired from all the fun today." You said in a fake sleepy voice.
"Yeah I guess you're right it is late, You want to grab your stuff so I can take you home?" He asked
"It's so late I'm sure you're tired, I can sta-"
"Oh, it's no problem you only live about 20 minutes away and I'm not tired at all." He smiled at you.
"O-okay well um sure... I guess you can take me." Damn Seonghwa and his care for you, just as you were gathering your things you both got an alert on your phones.
WARNING: EXTREME SNOW STORM IN YOUR AREA PLEASE BE ADVISED TO STAY OFF ROADS
"Oh universe you beautiful being, thank you for wanting me to get laid just as bad as me." you thought to yourself. "Look Seonghwa, looks like we have to stay here." You said to him, he walked over to his window and raised his blinds to reveal a whited out snow storm swallowing the streets.
"Hm, guess your right, are you comfortable with staying he-"
"Yes!" Seonghwa looked at you a bit taken aback from your speedy reply. "I mean... yeah I would hate to put you in harm's way to take me home." You smiled trying not to be suspicious.
Seonghwa raised an eyebrow a bit as he noticed your strange behavior but he just brushed it off. "Right well I can grab you some extra clothes and a towel to shower."
"No need, I actually have some clothes in my bag." You said as you dug in your tote and pulled out some sleep clothing.
Seonghwa was wondering why you were carrying your tote instead of your normal purse and why it was so full. "You just so happened to have clothes in your bag today?" he questioned.
"Yeah, ya know, just in case I spilled something or tore my pants ice skating?" You said trying to get him not to suspect anything.
"But those are paja-"
"Anyways I'm gonna go get in the shower." You hurried to the bathroom to start the water, once inside you carefully took off your clothes and got into the shower. A few minutes passed and you heard a knock on the door. "Come in." you yelled out.
"Y/N I brought you a towel to dry off with and some lotion and an extra toothbrush, if you need anything else let me know okay?"
"Well actually I would love for you to wash my back, I can't reach it." For a moment there was silence. "D-did you hear me?" Silence again. "Seonghwa?" You asked, once you didn't get an answer you pulled the shower curtain back and saw that you were once again alone in the bathroom, the rushing water drowned out the sound of the door closing again, you heavily sighed in defeat and and finished your shower, you dried off, brushed your teeth and lathered up with your own lotion, it was vanilla cupcake scented like Seonghwa likes, he mentioned loving when you smelled like a bakery. You dropped your towel finally and pulled out your clothes from your bag, this definitely was going to seduce Seonghwa, a pair of short shorts with a white trim and a t-shirt of his he let you borrow and you never gave back and to tie it all together a blue and black lacey panty and bralette set you bought a while ago. You sprayed on your matching vanilla perfume and walked out the bathroom, you looked around and saw that Seonghwa wasn't in the living room anymore so you walked to his bedroom door and stood there. You had never even seen Seonghwa's room before now that you thought about it, you knocked and a few moments later the door opened revealing Seonghwa in his Animal crossing tee shirt and shorts.
"Y/N, you're finally done, sorry I was showering and getting something so I can sleep in the guest room, come in." You looked at him confused as you stepped in the room.
"Wait, you have a spare bathroom in here?" he chuckled at you.
"Yeah, I was going to let you use it, but you rushed to the guest one." He walked back over to grab a few things.
You watched him collect his items for a moment. "I like your pjs, they are adorable."
"Thanks, I got it as a gift from my friends." He glanced over at you. "I see we are both wearing my clothes." He giggled.
"Yeah sorry I meant to give it back but it's so cozy, If you want I could take it off." You said trying to throw a hint at him once again.
"It's fine, looks cuter on you anyways." He said as he pecked your cheek and headed for the bedroom door. "If you need anything just let me know okay? Goodnight Y/N."
"Wait! You know you don't have to sleep in the other room you could always... sleep with me, I would hate to put you out."
"It's no big deal, if it wasn't for this storm you'd be home in your bed alone, so it's the least I can do, night." and just like that he was gone, damn his gentleman ways.
...
You laid in his bed, alone, wishing he was next to you, holding the blanket, imagining being wrapped up in his arms while he kissed you softly, you wanted to feel him being so needy for you he is rutting his hard cock on your ass. The smell of his cologne on the sheets made the pit in your stomach hot, you slowly slid your hands between your thighs, you brushed past your heat, you needed his touch, you yearned for it. You wanted to know how he breathed while he made love to you, you imagined he was a gentle lover, slow and easy sex came to mind when you thought of Seonghwa, he was probably very closed off and vanilla and you would be lying if you said you didn't want to corrupt your sweet boyfriend. Then the thought that maybe he was inexperienced or scared, was he a virgin? You needed to know, you needed to find out and you were tired of being coy about it. You sprung out of Seonghwa's bed and headed to the guest room, you didn't even knock, you just entered, Seonghwa was in bed scrolling on his phone before he looked up to see you standing in the doorway.
"Y/n? Everything okay? Did you need something?" He asked as he put his phone down and sat up.
You didn't say a word, you got up and walked up to the edge of the bed, your thoughts were running rampant and you needed him more than ever.
"Y/N? Do you want something?" Seonghwa asked with a touch of concern in his voice.
"I want you Hwa..." You said as you got on to the bed, you crawled up the length of his blanketed body, he scooted back until his back was against the headboard, you stopped to sit on his legs. "If you're scared or never experienced this before it's okay, I can help you, I can teach you everything you need to know."
"Y-you will?" He said nervously, you nodded your head. "Is that why you've been acting weird, you wanted to... do that with me?"
You nodded again. "Only if you're ready."
"I am!" He nodded frantically. "Can we go back to my room?" you sat on the side to let him get up and he led you back to his room, it was cute honestly, he pulled you down onto the bed and got on top of you. Your eyes met before he placed his lips onto yours, kissing Seonghwa always gave you butterflies but this felt hot and passionate.
"I can touch and do whatever I want right?" He asked sweetly.
"Of course you can." You cupped his cheek. "Touch me as much as you want, you have my full permission, and we can go as slow as you need and I'll even help you." You wanted to be as helpful as possible, you didn't want him to feel like he was going in blindly.
"Really?" you nodded. "Okay well close your eyes and lift your arms" you raised your eyebrows in confusion but maybe he had something he had seen somewhere that he wanted to try, you obliged and lifted your arms and closed your eyes.
You couldn't see it but a devious smile was plastered on Seonghwa's face. "You know Y/N you really shocked me being so forward tonight." you could hear his night stand opening but chose to ignore it, that is until you feel a soft cotton tightening around both of your wrists. You got confused and tried to put your arms down but realized you couldn't, you tried again and your eyes shot open with Seonghwa laughing. You looked up to see black cotton cuffs bonding you to the bed, you looked back at Seonghwa confused.
"Aw look at the cute poor little confused look on your face, I almost feel bad for playing with you my flower." Seonghwa said as he sat on his knees in front of you.
"What do you mean playing with me? What are these cuffs?" You questioned.
He chuckled at your confusion again. "Sweetheart you didn't really believe I was some scared little virgin did you?"
"Well... yeah."
"How sweet, but sorry to break it to you, I'm not, but damn was it sexy to see you so willing to teach me how to fuck you properly, kinda wish I would have went along with it, but I could never lie to you."
"Wait then why have you never made a move on me? Even tonight when I was dropping hints you wouldn't budge."
Seonghwa sighed a bit. "Well, I try to stay true to being the proper gentleman I am, however the way I have sex... the things I like are everything but gentle. I know it can scare some women away and I really like you Y/N, so I figured I'd suppress my urges and very slowly reel you in after sometime but my naughty little flower just couldn't wait." He said as he pinched your nose playfully. "But with your full permission of course I'd love to show you somethings I like."
You could feel your core jumping with excitement at his question. "Yes, please show me Seonghwa." you said in a very needy voice.
He smiled at you. "Already so needy for me, let's get started.
...
2 thin pieces of rope were behind each of your knees to bind you to the bed along with your hands, your legs were nice and spread open while your bare pussy was on display for Seonghwa. He stood on his knees between your legs on the bed, all his clothes removed except his boxer briefs that left very little to the imagination, you averted your eyes to avoid his lustful eye contact. You jolted at the feeling of his fingers rubbing your wet core, whimpering softly every time he would lightly brush your needy nub.
"You're already so wet, you really were excited to teach me how to fuck you huh baby?" You said in a teasing tone, his two fingers started to slowly rub "O's" on your clit and you bit your lip to avoid moaning, he grabbed your chin to make you face him. "Y/N it's not nice to hold back, let me see and hear you while I make a mess of your pretty pussy." He let go of your chin then removed his fingers from your clit, he slid them into your while his thumb on his other hand rubbed your clit, you moaned while watching his slowly glide his digits in and out on you, the slow motion driving you crazy because you wanted more, he saw the lust in your greedy eyes and smiled. "My precious little flower, you look like you want to say something, what's wrong?" Again he was taunting you, he knew what you wanted, but he wanted to hear you beg more than anything.
"Please... faster." you couldn't handle getting your sentence out and before you could ask you started to rock your hips, grinding down on his fingers, not being able to do much with your legs being restrained. The burning urge to cum got worse as he started to move his fingers in and out while curling them up to stimulate your spot, louder moans fell from your lips.
"My little flower, please don't be rude, answer me with complete sentences only." His thumb started to flick your clit faster, your head dropped back at the teasing stimulation, you wouldn't be able to cum with him going so slow but it felt amazing, you just needed more.
"Please~ fuck me with ngh~ your fingers faster." you managed to say, Seonghwa didn't hesitate to drive his digits into you at a faster rate, he made sure to keep curling his fingers upward to keep tapping your gummy spot, your moans got louder the faster he went, you wanted to close your legs around his arm but again you couldn't, you just had to take it. The loud and obscene squelching noises and moans mixed with his groans could kill a nun, you felt your climax coming as the feeling in your stomach started to come. He never stopped flicking your clit and with his fingers so deep and beating your spot you had no choice but to have an intense orgasm all over him and his bed, perhaps too intense as you felt warm liquid on your legs, you looked down to see yourself erupting like a volcano. Embarrassment quickly filled your body as you never experienced squirting before.
"I-I'm sorry." You said, Seonghwa giggled at your embarrassment, he leaned forward to kiss you, the kiss was like a normal kiss he would usually give you, passionate and full of love, but during you noticed that his fingers started to move inside of you again, your moans being swallowed by him, you wanted to plead for him to stop but the feeling of being so sensitive due to over stimulation felt amazing, your hips once again started to buck up. He pulled back from the kiss and you immediately started to whimper.
"My sweet flower are you already coming undone for me? I still haven't even gotten to taste you yet." Your brain froze hearing the word taste as you knew exactly what was coming next, Seonghwa laid down in sniper position, his face inches away from your cunt. He kept his fingers inside while he attached his lips to your bulb, you yelled a string of curse words, your fingers and toes wiggled as your eyes rolled back, you wanted to push his head away, grip something, wrap your legs around his head, anything but again you just had to endure the overwhelming feeling.
"You're just as sweet as I imagined my love, I could spend the rest of my life drinking from you." He continued to finger you while his long tongue that you would day dream about for what seemed like hours lapped circles around your clit and occasionally licked stripes along your pussy. You were gasping as your second orgasm started to build up, Seonghwa's fingers never stopped, he started to leave kisses on your clit. "Can you cum for me one more time? I need to taste how sweet you are when you cum." Your legs started to quiver as he sped up the pace of his fingers, you started to see stars as you squirted again, you felt panic rush through you as you didn't want to squirt on his face but when you looked down you saw and felt Seonghwa drinking from you like you were a water fountain. Once you finally started to come down Seonghwa pulled his face out of your already fucked out pussy, your slick dripping from his chin as it covered his face from his nose down. Seonghwa wiped his face then freed you from your binds. As soon as you were free you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, a thank you for two of the best orgasms of your life.
His hands traveled up your body to finally remove the remainder of your clothing. "On all fours for me beautiful." Without question you turned around with your ass in the air, once again putting yourself on full display for him. "Can you put your arms back here for me?" He asked, you were curious about his next move but still obeyed. You laid your face on the pillow and put your arms behind you Seonghwa grabbed on and placed the cuff back on your wrist, this time he cuffed each of your hands to your ankles. He reached for the night stand again to get a condom and slide it down his shaft, you could feel his large hands grip your hips and put you in place, your back naturally arched as you prepared yourself for him. "Are you ready my love?" He asked.
"Yes, I need you so bad Seonghwa." You were eager to finally know how it felt to be one with him, he pumped himself a few times then placed his tip at your entrance, he slowly started to enter you, pulling back out then back in to feed you his length. It didn't take much for you to start to moan out for him to give you more of him, instead he went slow, he wanted you to feel every inch of him, enjoy every second of him fucking you until your mind broke. After a few moments he finally bottomed out inside of you, you had always seen prints of Seonghwa's dick through his sweatpants but you never truly knew he was this long, he reached the very back of your pussy with ease as your pussy started to squeeze him rapidly.
"You're squeezing me so tight baby fuck, I love how this pussy feels." He started to roll his hips while he was stationed deep inside of you, you could feel his dick in the pit of your stomach and with the position you were stuck in it felt like he was digging even deeper inside of you. Seonghwa finally pulled half way out then back in as he started to fuck his long dick into your pussy, the long awaited need to feel him inside you was over and it felt amazing. This wasn't what you expected but Seonghwa far exceeded expectations, he knew exactly how to fuck you like he had experience with your pussy exactly, he made sure not to pound into you but kept a fast and consistent speed, you couldn't think straight as you became cock drunk off of him. You had your cheek on the pillow as your eyes rolled back and you moaned loudly for him.
"Please don't stop, you feel so good Seonghwa." You gasped out, he was fucking you so good you could feel the drool leave your mouth and couldn't do anything about it. Seonghwa kept up his pace then the sound of Velcro ripping filled the room as he undid one of your cuffs then the other, you thought he was going to change positions but instead he grabbed you by your throat and lifted you off the bed, he kept his pace as his dick went even deeper inside of you, he attached his lips to your ear. "You're taking me so well baby." He said as he sped up, you whined in return. "My cute little flower all fucked out the first time taking my dick, poor thing." Him teasing you only added to your orgasm you could feel the pit in your stomach returning, he turned your head to the side as his hand squeezed your throat tighter, he placed his lips on yours, his tongue started to explore your mouth, the kiss was hot and wet, you couldn't hold yourself together anymore and covered his dick in your cum, only a few more pumps and Seonghwa released into the condom. Your body went limp in his hands as he laid you down on the bed gently.
You were shaking, your mouth covered with spit while your pussy was still pulsing, all you could do was breathe heavily, you didn't even notice Seonghwa left the room until he came back with something in his hand. He sat back on the bed and adjusted your legs for you to help clean you up, he then wiped the spit from your mouth and opened a bottle of water and put it to your lips. "Here drink." he slowly poured the cold water into your mouth as you sipped slowly like a baby kitten.
"Thank you." You said then sat up, just now realizing the bed was soaked. "I'm sorry about your bed..." You said still feeling a bit embarrassed. "I've never did... that before."
"You're being so shy for a girl that was offering to pop my cherry a while ago." He laughed while he finished the bottle of water he had and you nudged his shoulder.
"That's because I thought you were a scary little virgin or something, I didn't think you'd be some kind of sex wizard."
He nearly choked on his water laughing. "Not sure what a sex wizard is but I appreciate any compliment coming from you." He said as he leaned in to kiss your lips. "How about we freshen up and go to sleep in the guest room tonight?" You nodded your head, You and Seonghwa got cleaned up and then went to the other room, it felt nice to be cuddled up with him like this.
"So... did you like it?" he asked.
"I loved it." you quickly answered.
"Most of the women I've slept with don't contact me again after we have sex."
"Well 1 I'm your girlfriend 2 you'll probably have to get me to stop asking you for sex now."
He chuckled at you, then kissed your forehead. "Goodnight Y/N, I love you."
"Goodnight Seonghwa, I love you too!"
A peaceful silence filled the room.
"Can we fuck again in the morning?"
#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#atz smut#writenbypyramidofstars#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa smut#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa drabble#seonghwa fluff#park seonghwa smut#park seonghwa fluff#park seonghwa x reader#ateez x reader#ateez x you#ateez x y/n#ateez x female reader#ateez scenarios#ateez seonghwa smut#ateez seonghwa x reader
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theories + predictions before tgr comes out
not in any particular order. spoilers for tsc and obv aftg. if any of these happen individually i will be insufferable. bonus if more than one of these ends up being true. feeding my god complex fr.
jeremy killed a sibling. either accidentally or on purpose both works for me. tho it would be a million times more interesting if it was intentional. obv there are a million and one jeremy theories floating around but something about jeremy being a repented murderer endears me to him the most. like THAT'S the nora sakavic kinda character i know and love. anyway yeah there is definitely something weird about jer and his siblings tho. cat mentions two brothers, but so far we've only heard about annalise and bryson. cat also hesitates before saying "two brothers" so we can safely assume something happened with one of the brothers. my bet is that one of them is dead, that's why she hesitated to say. jer probably (definitely) had something to do with it. annalise also says that he ruined the family. and references the fall banquet of his freshman year. but idk if the siblings stuff and the banquet stuff is actually connected.
bryson tried to kill jer/they had a huge ugly fight/bryson was just abusive in general. i get these vibes. jer was desperate to avoid him and mentions him like once the whole book. cat mentions that he's a "tool" and a "jerk" and jer's convo with lucas about grayson is also notable, but that last part might just be bc jer's a nice guy, not to do with his own sibling issues. but yeah i think this is pretty likely, like they always had tension between them, then after mystery brother died, all of it came to a head and they had a really bad fight and someone was badly injured/nearly died.
annalise dies. this isn't very likely but i think this would be a PERFECT book two plot point. just imagine how it would WRECK jeremy. all of jer's carefully constructed masks and facades and fake smiles and pretending everything's fine would all come crashing down and it would essentially force my long-awaited jeremy crash out into action. it would force him to confront family issues, his older brother, his parents/step-parents??? and also the fact that he is deeply Not Okâ˘. also it would be a neat parallel that both jean and jer would now have dead younger sisters. bonus points if she dies in a car accident. if this happens i'm actually god.
kevjean interview goes horribly wrong somehow. my delusional ahh NEEDS neil to crash it but i can admit that that isn't likely and that i just miss my shayla. whatever. i'm pretty sure it's confirmed that kevjean IS having an interview together???? and since kevin is confirmed showing up in tgr i guess this will be it??? ok listen. i know nora said in the ec that kevin and jean would never be friends again, but i still have HOPE for them ok. kevjean you INVENTED one-sided homoerotic yearning. anyway i have no real thoughts about how it would go wrong probably just an interviewer stepping out of line and either jean or kevin crashing out during it. if someone attacks jean, i honestly honestly believe kevin would defend him. kevin is NOT a coward, and especially now that riko's dead and tetsuji is out of the picture, and after the whole "i've never been skiing" thing i doubt kevin is gonna be living in fear and paranoia and secrets anymore. and if he's gonna defend anyone to the press, it's obviously gonna be jean. and jean would do the same for kevin. guys i'm holding out so much hope for kevjean it's gonna ruin my life.
grayson death. is this not like, confirmed??? whatever i just need to see it happen. or hear of it happening. and i'll smile contentedly knowing that neil ordered the hit on a napkin at a thai restaurant. GOD i love that man like nobody can. it would also be very interesting to see jean, lucas and the other trojans' reactions to his death.
gameplay!!! i will admit, neil made me somewhat of an exy junkie asw. i'm so interested to see how jean narrates exy games and how the trojans play in their comps. unfortunately i doubt we'll see any championship games in book 2 but i'm hoping for book 3 and we get to see the trojans become champions for the first time!!! i have mixed feelings about the trojan red card thing but i wouldn't be mad if it happened. i kind of think it seems unrealistic tho tbh. but it WOULD be fun. yeah ummmm and i need to see like a scene where jeremy gets hurt and jean realises he cares IDC i am a SIMPLE simple girl. also i'm curious to see how the exy storyline plays out w jean. it's confirmed he never makes court, but i'm interested to see if he ends up actually enjoying the game, bc i think it wouldn't be a fitting end to the trilogy if he continues to play but resents it. i do think it is possible for the trojans to teach him how to actually love the game, but we'll see.
someone in jer's life/past committed or tried to commit. maybe it was even jeremy himself. idk i definitely think jer has some dark past, whether it includes like drugs or violence or gangs or murder idk, there's just SOMETHING there i can smell it. something that makes jeremy "captain sunshine" knox the black sheep of his rich political family. also jeremy being "unexpectedly ferocious" when jean made a quip about suicide. noted.
jeremy family drama. idk this is just a general note for uncovering more info about jeremy's complicated family. i need to know like, what's up with his dad. his dad is either dead or out of his life, because he only refers to his mother and stepfather. also why jer doesn't like being referred to by his last name and what he did to tear their family apart. contrary to popular opinion, i actually don't think it has anything to do with him being gay. i acc don't think his family knows he's gay. i feel like otherwise they would've just cut him off completely. like why is he still involved in campaigns and shit???
jerejean almost-kiss. this is just me manifesting tbh.
jeremy crash out. duh.
#imagine if jer actually doesn't do a backstory reveal or crash out at all in this book#then I'M crashing out#prepare for me to be absolutely INSUFFERABLE#aftg#all for the game#the sunshine court#tsc#zoe yaps#the golden raven#tgr#jean moreau#jeremy knox#jerejean
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Barbatos and 23?
Barbatos + 23 | "Cellar Door" - Spiritbox
cw: mentions of Lesson 16/MC death
"Have you ever seen your own dead body before?"
If you had been aiming to catch Barbatos off-guard for once, you may have just succeeded. The demon nearly chokes on his tea, causing him to mutter an "excuse me" before clearing his throat as he regains his composure.
He pats his lips with a napkin, looking at you with both curiosity and understanding. "I assume there is something weighing on your mind?"
"Mm." You find yourself gazing out the large castle window, the moonlight bathing the Devildom foliage. Despite all the time that has passed, there are nights you find yourself there again, staring at your own mangled body at the bottom of the stairs. How, for a moment, two of you existed in one space â one just resurrected, the other at death's door. "âŚSo, have you?"
"âŚI have." Barbatos leans back in his seat, gaze still fixed on you. "More than once. The benefit of being able to see through space and time, I suppose."
"Right. I guess you get used to it. Or maybe it didn't jar you much in the first place." There is hint of resentment in your voice, a tightness in your chest as you turn back to meet those dark eyes of his. Maybe bringing this up was a bad idea. Why did you think the demon with control over space-time could ever feel the same way as you?
"I wouldn't say that." Barbatos taps a finger on the table, a sign that he was trying to form his words carefully. "I wasn't always the calm and reassured demon you see before you. I used to be quite an arrogant fool, in fact. I have made mistakes, grave ones."
You remember him speaking before of atonement, a past he was determined to rectify.
With some apprehension, he slowly reaches his hand out to cover your own. His voice is soft as he asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I thought I was over it." The words leave your lips before you can even think, as if Barbatos' simple question unlocked something deep within your soul, breaking bindings that had long buried despair. "But I'm not. After all of this time, I still think about it. I went to the past, I was killed, I was ⌠I was brought back to life only to see another version of myself, to see me ⌠bleeding and mangled and dead." Your voice wavers, but you're determined to hold on. Fingers curls into your palm, nails digging into flesh. "And you ⌠you said you just. Changed the timeline. Collapsed it, made it that this was the real one, that I was the one and only me. But am I? Or," a shaky breath, "⌠did I just slip into another version of myself? Did a part of me really die back then?" Your voice strains. "I have so many questions, and I'm afraid to know the answers to any of them!"
Barbatos is quiet at first, though his hand still covers yours. His expression is unreadable and distant, and you again wonder if he can understand at all. What was one death to a timeless being?
"My first encounter with death, of my own deathâŚis something I will never forget." He squeezes your hand gently, meeting your gaze. "I ⌠won't speak in detail of it, but it was harrowing. The first time I truly came face-to-face with consequences for my own actions." He shakes his head with a somber chuckle. "Would you believe that I still didn't learn my lesson? Yet, despite all the deaths of self I have either seen through visions or came to encounter personally thereafter, it is the one I remember most vividly."
Barbatos moves now to be next to you, taking both of your hands in his. "My dear, I apologize for the role I played in all of this, and I'm not sure if I can provide all the answers you seek. But I can tell you that you are not alone. Time and space are tricky things, and what you went through is something that would break most. But here you are, still standing strong. " His features soften. "And, there is one thing I know for certain. One answer I can provide."
"What?" You hate how your voice cracks, but you lean in closer to Barbatos' warmth.
"There will always be parts of ourselves that die and are reborn. Such is the nature of the universe." He squeezes your hands again. "But you are very much you. You are meant to be here, and that will never change."
#this one got a little long oops#hard to wrap up such heavy discussions ;;#obey me#obey me!#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me nightbringer#obey me nb#obey me barbatos#om! barbatos#obey me barbatos x mc#obey me barbatos x reader#obey me fic#obey me fanfic#obey me drabble#writings#drabble#100k tears celebration#the all encompassing [mod] cosmos
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where you want your gift, girl? | Joel Miller

Summary | Itâs your birthday and Joel, knowing itâs not your favourite celebration, is keen to show you that itâs not always going to be a bad day, not if he can help it.
Warnings | birthdays, allusions to strained parental relationships, food & alcohol consumption, smoking of (1) cigarette, no/pre-outbreak AU, gift giving, explicit smut, rough sex, choking/breath play, brief spit play, oral sex (F Receiving), safe unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie, cumplay, literally just filth tbh, no use of y/n.
Word Count | 4.2K
Authors Note | Honestly? Itâs my birthday today and all I want is for Joel Miller to fucking rail me to celebrate - we canât have everything we want I suppose, so weâll have to deal with writing our fantasies instead! Happy Birthday to me - Enjoy!
Masterlist | Ko-Fi
Youâd never really enjoyed birthdays. Other peopleâs, sure. The opportunity to treat your friends and make other people happy was something youâd always loved, but when it was you as the centre of attention, you almost hated it. The way people would train their eyes on you as you opened their gifts, the anxiety that you felt not knowing what it would be and whether youâd have to pretend it was the best thing in the world when you could think of a million things you needed above what theyâd given you. It always made you feel ungrateful. Birthdays arenât as exciting as you get older either, just another reminder of how far behind the rest of your friends you are, how little you seemed to have accomplished next to them in the same amount of years.
It was no different this year, not really. Your mother had phoned you before youâd gone to work, asked if you received the card sheâd sent in the post that had the customary $100 stuffed into it, before chiding you for not doing as you said you would last time you spoke and find a new job, something more challenging, related to that degree youâd spent all her money on. You sigh and hang up the phone before she can say anything else, a mumbled sorry that you were running late but thank you for the card.
The only saving grace for your birthday this year was the fact it was a Friday, so you didnât have to worry about drinking too much beer and having to go to work the next morning with a hangover. To their credit, your work colleagues had been quite nice to you - theyâd pooled together to get you a gift card for you to spend on whatever youâd like, and Sandra from accounts had made you a birthday cake â red velvet because it was your favourite. Once everyone had eaten a slice, she put a Tupperware on your desk with two more generous slices in it, winking at you before walking away.
âFor your handsome boyfriend.â Sheâd said, giggling as she walked away.
There was another saving grace for your birthday, you supposed. Joel Miller. Who had burst into your life in a whirlwind eight months ago when his beautiful daughter had spilled her hot chocolate all over your crisp new shirt in her hurry to get to the table so she could drink it. Heâd been the most apologetic you ever thought youâd seen a man, helping you to wipe the worst of it off with napkins whilst Sarah profusely apologised next to you. Youâd put a comforting hand on her shoulder, told her it was okay, and that you understood entirely, youâd have been as excited as her to drink hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. Joel had insisted on paying for your dry cleaning, something youâre pretty sure only ever happened in films, and when youâd phoned him to tell him it really had been a minimal amount, heâd asked to take you to dinner instead, and the rest really was history.
Heâs phoning you now, his name popping up on the front screen of your phone, you smile as you answer it.
âHello, handsome.â You greet.
âGood afternoon,â His southern drawl hits your ears, âHappy birthday, my darlinâ girl.â
God, he makes you so happy, âThank you, cowboy.â
âYou want me to pick you up and take you for dinner?â He asks, âTommy is gonna look after Sarah tonight, so Iâm all yours, whatever you wanna do.â
You think for a second, sure, dinner out is a nice idea, but itâs been a long week, and you think what you want most is to be at home with him, âYou think you could grill me a steak and let me drink beer on your couch instead?â You ask, slightly embarrassed that this is all you want for your birthday.
âIf thatâs what you want, darlinâ, then Iâll grill you the best steak of your life,â He chuckles, and then you can hear him cover the phone and speak to Sarah, who must be just back from school, âSarah wants to speak to you real quick.â
He passes the phone and itâs Sarahâs sweet voice that greets you next, âHappy birthday!â
âThank you, honey,â You smile, âYou looking forward to some time with your Uncle Tommy?â
âHeâs gonna take me to the movies,â You can hear the grin on her face, âI already heard dad telling him not to feed me too much candy, but he never listens,â You chuckle, âI got you a present,â She speaks again, âI gave it to dad so you can open it later.â
âAhhh you sweet girl,â You coo, âIâm sure Iâll love it,â You reassure, âAnd Iâll be there tomorrow so I can thank you in person.â
âAlright,â She replies, âDad wants the phone back, but have a nice birthday with him!â
You say goodbye to her, and then Joel tells you heâll be waiting for you when you finish to bring you home. Itâs only two hours until the end of the day, but you struggle to focus on the emails youâve got to answer â you get through as few as is acceptable before the end of the day, logging out at exactly 5:30pm, box of cake clutched in your hand, handbag slung over your shoulder as you head out.
Joel is leaning against the side of his truck, arms crossed over his chest so his biceps are bulging in the flannel heâs wearing, heâs also got one of his ankles crossed over the over. He looks so casual but as devastatingly handsome as he always is. He slips an arm around your waist when youâre close enough, pushing his palm into your lower back to press your body to his, dipping down to press his lips to yours. Heâs gentle with it, opening his mouth against yours so he can slip his tongue into your mouth, letting his tongue meld with your own, kissing you slowly, like heâs got all the time in the world.
âGet a room, you two!â Itâs Sandra from accounts.
Joel pulls away just enough to laugh against your lips, pressing his to yours once more before pulling away properly, opening the car door for you to get in, pressing a light swat of his hand to your ass as you hoist yourself up into the truck.
Once heâs slipped into the driver's side and settled one of his hands on your upper thigh, he starts the drive from the city out to his house. Itâs a quiet drive, Joelâs humming along to whatever is playing on the radio, youâre occupied with looking out the window. This is what you love about Joel, that heâll sit in silence, wonât feel the need to make you talk, it makes you feel comfortable, knowing that heâs there when you need him, but heâs not going to force you to speak when you donât want to.
Heâs pulled into the drive in no time, picking up the grocery bags from the backseat. You try and peak inside to see what heâs bought; youâre hoping heâs got the ingredients to make those mashed potatoes you like, and mushrooms that heâll cook on the grill too.
When he opens the door, youâre almost overwhelmed by the sight that greets you. There are gold and black balloons littering the floor, with one bigger helium balloon, weighted down so it doesnât float along the ceiling, set in the corner with big âhappy birthdayâ lettering written on it. Thereâs a birthday banner pinned to the wall, and a selection of wrapped gifts on the coffee table. You have a sneaking suspicion that most of this is Sarahâs doing.
You giggle a little as Joel presses himself against your back, kissing at your neck, âHow much of this was Sarah?â You ask, following him through to the kitchen.
âShe blew up all those balloons before she went to bed last night, and she did all the wrapping, but the banner and the big balloon, that was all me, baby.â
You press your lips to his cheek, smiling as he starts unloading the grocery bags. Two ribeye steaks, and just like you wanted, mushrooms to grill, and potatoes to mash. He leaves you in charge of watching the potatoes whilst he grills the rest of the food outside. Whilst itâs resting, he mashes the potatoes with enough butter to clog your arteries, but when you sit at the table, and those potatoes are in your mouth, you canât find it in you to care - itâs your birthday after all.
âEverythinâ alright, baby?â He asks, cutting into his steak.
âItâs perfect,â You grin, spearing a grilled mushroom onto your fork, âBetter than sitting in a stuffy restaurant anyway.â
You finish your food in relative silence. Joel insists on doing the dishes even if he did most of the cooking, before heâs leading you back to the living room.
Joel sits you down on the couch, treading as carefully as he can through the trail of balloons to get you a fresh beer. He kneels down on the floor between you and the coffee table, taking a glug of his beer, before reaching across the table for the first gift, setting it in your lap.
âThat one is from Sarah,â He explains, âShe made me promise you would open it first.â
âRules are rules,â You shrug with a chuckle, carefully tearing open the wrapping paper.
When you pull the paper from the material it was wrapped in you feel overwhelmed. Itâs the exact same blouse that Sarah had tipped her hot chocolate over, just in black instead of white. The shirt had been a write off from the start, the chocolate leaving a stain that even the dry cleaner couldnât get out.
âShe saved her pocket money for months to buy this,â He murmurs, pinching the silky fabric between his fingers, âSaid if it was what brought us together, she wanted you to be able to wear it.â
You can feel tears prickling at your eyes as you fold the material up carefully, âSheâs such a special girl, Joel.â You whisper, watching as Joel leans back over the table to pick up another gift.
âThis oneâs from Tommy.â He murmurs, handing you the largest box on the table.
You rip the paper off and open the box, revealing an actual cowboy hat. You laugh, because Tommy has always said in order to properly fit in, youâd need a cowboy hat. Joel reaches into the box, pulling the brown Stetson out of its box, placing it on your head.
âSuits you, cowgirl,â He growls, leaning under the brim of the hat to kiss you, nibbling your bottom lip as he pulls away, âKeep it on.â He demands when you go to take it off.
âHe didnât need to get me a gift,â You mutter as Joel moves the two final gifts towards you, âAnd itâs a proper Stetson, this must have cost a fortune.â
âNot that it matters, because everyone in this household thinks the world of you, but he thrifted it, mainly because youâve rubbed off on him and he thinks getting a pair of Leviâs for half price because someone doesnât want them anymore is the best thing since sliced bread.â
You tilt the hat on your head a little so you can see under the brim, as he hands you an envelope this time, âThese are from me.â
You open the envelope and pull out a postcard with a from New Orleans. You turn the card over, Joelâs handwriting scrawled on the back.
âPack a bag baby, and let me take you away.â
âAre you for real?!â You exclaim, âYouâre going to take me to New Orleans?!â
âCourse I am, darlinâ girl,â He grins, âI know youâve always wanted to go, and weâve never been away together.â
âAre you even real?â You ask, wiping your tears away, because youâre overwhelmed, no-one has ever been so thoughtful.
âLast time I checked I was,â He chuckles, taking the postcard from your hands, replacing it with the last gift, a small box, âGo on, last one.â
You take it from his hand, tearing the paper off it to reveal a small box. You open it, and sat inside is a silver necklace, a silver hoop, entwined with a smaller hoop. Youâd recognise this anywhere. Youâd spotted it in the window of the jewellery shop downtown. Youâd spend so long looking at it in the window before deciding you couldnât afford it, yet here it is, in your hands.
âJoel,â You breathe, running your fingers over the delicate silver, âThis is too much.â
He presses a single finger to your lips to shut you up, holding his hand out for the box, taking the necklace out as he pushes himself up onto the couch, putting the delicate chain across your neck, âDo you like it?â He asks from behind you, mouth right at your ear, breath hot on your skin.
You turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling your hat fall off your head as he returns the embrace, âI love it Joel,â You murmur into the skin of his neck, âI love you.â
âI love you too, darlinâ girl.â
You spend the rest of the evening curled up on the couch together. You eat the slices of cake that Sandra had sent you home with, drink more beer, Joel even sits with his guitar outside, playing some of your favourite songs whilst you smoke a cigarette. When the sun has fully set and youâve let out a particularly loud yawn, Joel closes up the house, takes hold of your hand, and takes you to bed.
Youâre led against the sheets, getting yourself comfortable, when Joel comes back from the bathroom, leaning against the door with his thumb resting on his belt. Heâs lookin at you with those deep, coffee-coloured orbs as you turn onto your side, propping your head up on your palm to look at him.
âHow do you want it, baby?â He smirks, taking slow steps towards the bed.
You take your bottom lip between your teeth, because that is a very good question. Do you want him to be soft and slow like he had been that first time? So concerned he was going to hurt you with his size and strength that he refused to go any harder or faster than was strictly necessary? Or the time he made love to you after youâd looked after Sarah when he had to work late. When heâd walked into his house and found you painting her nails for her, watching a film that heâd never had sat through, his heart bursting with so much love that he had to push it all into you, whispering promises into your ear as he did so. No, you think, thatâs not what you want right now.
âI want you to fuck me, cowboy,â You rasp, âHard.â
Heâs stood at the foot of the bed now, eyes dark with lust, âWell, what the birthday girl wants,â He murmurs softly, wide, warm palm clasping around your ankle, âThe birthday girl gets.â
He tugs at your ankle, pulling you down the bed in one swoop, your legs dangling over the edge as his fingers work the button of your work trousers loose. You lift your hips up so he can drag them, and your underwear off your body, before he tugs you into a sitting position to work your blouse over your head. Your palms cup his face as you kiss him, your lips giving attention to his plush bottom lip as his hands reach behind you and work the clasp of your bra undone, dragging that off your body so youâre finally bared naked to him.
He pulls back, trails his eyes over your naked body, before placing his hand on your chest, right between your breasts, pushing you back down onto the bed. He trails his hands down the expanse of your sides, coming to the meat of your thighs as he settles his face between them. Normally this is where heâd tease you, use that mouth to trail soft kisses up and down the inside of your thighs, stopping to nip at the soft skin every once in a while, but he surprises you tonight.
Joel uses the flat of his tongue to lick a single stripe up the seam of your pussy. Then, he takes his hands, puts them on the backs of your thighs to push your legs back towards you, spreading them open further, baring the entirety of your spread, aching cunt to his face, before that tongue of his is diving into you, licking the slick that has been slowly gathering there from you, groaning at your taste. He drags his tongue up to your clit, using the tip of it to lightly flick at your clit, which has a quiet whimper leaving your lips as you tangle your fingers in his soft curls to keep his head anchored right where it is.
Youâve never really known a man quite as enthusiastic about eating your pussy as Joel Miller. The way he groans into your cunt as he laps at you, the way his fingers dig bruises into your skin as he holds your legs open for him, it all adds to the way he has your teetering on the edge of your first orgasm of the night in minutes. Youâre bucking your hips into his face, chasing that burst of pleasure you know is so close to you.
You can hear the obscene sounds from him, the way he sucks your clit into his mouth, rolls his tongue over it before letting it go with a pop, or the way he literally slurps the slick from your entrance. Itâs when he slips two of his fingers inside your slick cunt that youâre really done for â fingers stretching you open, a poor substitute for whatâs to come, but itâs good none-the-less.
All of a sudden, that fiery burst of pleasure is setting your skin alight. Your body is arching off the bed, pushing your cunt further into Joelâs face as he sucks your clit through your orgasm. You can feel yourself clenching around his fingers as you let out as high-pitched shriek of his name as your body wracks with pleasurable aftershocks. You lie there, warm and pliant as Joel stands once heâs worked you through your orgasm. He takes off his shirt, and you marvel at that body, the one you get to enjoy, broad and strong for his work, but soft around the middle, just like you love. Heâs looking you directly in the eye as he undoes the button on his jeans, belt from earlier seemingly lost in the bathroom before. Youâre smirking as he drags his jeans and boxers down his legs, stepping out of them, stood before you in all his God damn glory.
He is, quite possibly, the most handsome man youâve ever seen. Especially when heâs got his cock gripped in his fist, pumping himself as you spread your legs for him, pushing yourself up the bed so he can settle between your thighs.
You can feel the throbbing length of him slipping between your soaked folds as he finds a position, heâs comfortable with. Youâre the one that reaches down between you and lines his cock up with your aching core, but itâs all Joel when he thrusts himself inside you, right to the hilt, in one go. Heâs leaning forward, head rested in the crook of your neck, your name hissed out into your ear as he adjusts to the tight clench of your cunt. Your nails are already digging into the meat of his biceps when he drags himself out of you, before slamming back in.
He revels in the way his rough thrusts make your tits bounce, dipping his head to take one of your nipples into his mouth, gently nipping at the puckered bud with his teeth before soothing it with the pad of his tongue. He laves the same attention to the other, never once letting up the pace of his hips.
âThis what you wanted, darlinâ girl?â He chokes out, looking down at you writhing in pleasure beneath him.
âMore.â You gasp, hand reaching to grab at his wrist which is planted by the side of your head, propping him up.
He puts most of his weight on his other hand, letting you drag his other palm to the delicate column of your throat, where the sheer size of his hand covers it in its entirety. He rests it there for a moment, continuing to pound his cock into your pussy, but then heâs adding pressure to the side of your throat, giving you that delicious dizzy feeling to your brain, before heâs releasing the pressure. Youâre grinning up at him, moaning his name as his hips continue to slam into your own.
âLike that, donât ya?â He asks, âGod you look so fuckinâ good with my hand around your throat, pretty girl.â
âAlways fuck me so good, Joel,â You cry out when he shifts his position slightly, cock brushing that sweet spot inside you, âDo it again.â
So he does, he squeezes his fingers around your throat again, your mouth dropping open as a crazed giggle leaves your mouth. You wish you could step outside your body right now and watch, watch what the two of you look like â his hand around your throat, the way heâs pounding into you so hard youâre sure youâll be sore in the morning.
Youâre both breathing heavily as he trails the hand that was around your throat to grip at your jaw. He squishes your cheeks together, pursing your lips as his mouth claims your own, growling into you as his tongue licks at yours. Heâs so fucking overwhelming right now, thick cock splitting you in two, strong body laid across your own, mouth on yours, and itâs still not enough. You want to peel his skin off and climb inside him, let him consume you whole.
Joel pulls back, hand still on your jaw.
âYou my pretty girl, huh?â He asks, and you can only nod, his hand stopping you from talking, âBelong to me, right?â
His hand goes back down to grip your throat, gently though, with no pressure, so you can talk to him now.
âAll yours Joel,â You purr at him, âOnly ever gonna be yours.â
âOpen your mouth,â He demands, using his hand to gently shake you, so you do, âStick your tongue out.â
You do just that, staring straight into his eyes as he leans down, ever so slightly, and spits into your mouth. Itâs warm, wet and utterly filthy, and you think itâs the entire reason that you can feel your slick dripping down onto his sheets now. Joel doesnât even give you the time to swallow, chasing the saliva heâs just put into your mouth with his tongue, giving you the sloppiest kiss youâve ever received.
âFuck,â He spits out, pulling back from your mouth, âAinât gonna last much longer, darlinâ girl,â He confesses, those rough thrusts slowing ever so slightly, âPut your hand on your clit for me, letâs do this one together.â
Your hand slinks between your bodies, seeking out that sensitive bud, still reeling from the orgasm he pulled from you, it doesnât take much work from your fingers to have you teetering on the edge, but you want to do this together, you have to hold on for him.
âWhere dâya want it?â Joel chokes out as your pussy flutters around him.
âInside,â Comes your begging plea to him, âCome inside me, Joel.â
Your work your fingers across your clit a few more times before youâre coming around his cock, the nails of your free hand digging half-moon shapes into the meat of his shoulder. He manages three, maybe four more thrusts before heâs stilling inside of you, grunting out your name as the white-hot spurt of his spend fills your aching cunt. He fills you up so perfectly, holding himself there for a moment before he lets out a slightly pained sound, pulling himself out of your pussy.
He sits back on his knees, watching the white trickle of him cum seep from your spent hole. He takes one of his fingers, scooping his cum on it before bringing it to your lips, where you suck it into your mouth, running your tongue over it to catch every bit of the taste of him. He falls forward, forehead pressed to your own, kissing your lips softly, before he moves to lie on his side of the bed.
You push yourself up into a sitting position, leaning over to kiss him softly, mumbling that youâll be back in a minute as you pad to the bathroom to clean up. When you come back to his room, heâs already under the covers, your side pushed back and waiting for you, so you clamber in, seeking out his torso under the covers so you can wrap your arm around him. He pulls you flush to his body, slick and warm from sweat, but you donât care.
His arm is draped across your shoulder, his fingers tracing slow and soft across your skin, as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.
âHappy birthday, darlinâ girl.â He whispers to you as he turns out the light.
âBest birthday ever,â You mumble softly against his chest as you let your heavy eyes closed, âAll because of you, cowboy.â
#Joel Miller#Joel Miller smut#Joel Miller fluff#joel miller one shot#joel miller imagine#joel miller fic#Joel Miller fanfic#Joel Miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#Joel Miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x y/n#The Last Of Us#The Last Of Us HBO#tlou#tlou hbo#joel the last of us#Joel tlou#tlou fic#tlou smut#joel miller tlou#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fic#the last of us smut#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfic#the last of us fanfic
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may never make it out challenge
Thank you so much @saynomorefic for creating this very fun game and for the initial tag đđđ Equally big thanks to @goldenwilmon and @toffeelemon for tagging me as well đđđ
Post a 1-5 paragraph excerpt of a WIP / fic idea that may never make it out of your drafts but is near and dear to your heart
I've been dragging this one around for a WHILE (seems like I created the doc in decermber '23 oh my god). And you've likely seen parts of this already. Essentially, the idea is that Simon and Wille never got back together and when Simon starts university in Stockholm Wille reaches out again and, even though Simon would love to think he's over Wille, they start hooking up again. Simon is... angry in this. This is far from 5 paragraphs, but. Uh. If I never get to actually finish it, then at least it's here, lmao. Beware, there's some smut (NSFW) down there.
When he first spots Wilhelm, he immediately regrets his decision. Wishes he'd just ignored the text, maybe even told him to fuck off, all decorum and pretense of being over the past be damned. He shouldn't have agreed to this. The smile he flashes Simon as he starts walking towards him, moving around tables and bags people have placed on the ground in the small coffee shop is every bit as crooked and cheery as Simon remembers it from four years ago and he can't stand it. He shouldn't be able to act like this is okay, like they are okay, like he just gets to burst back into Simon's life like that and smile about it.
But that's the whole problem. Simon let him, let it get to this. âHey, Simon,â he hears him say as soon as he's standing in front of him. And it really shouldn't affect him that much, the simple utterance of his name shouldn't hold that much power. He twists the napkin he's subconsciously grabbed with one hand, forces a neutral expression. âHey,â he replies. If he has to be here at all, he's sure as hell not going to be cooperative in conversation. Wille's smile falters ever so slightly. It really wouldn't be noticeable, but Simon knows that face, knows all its traitorous tells and he seemingly still has all that info filed away neatly. As Wilhelm sits down opposite of him the initial enthusiasm has seemingly left him and he's starting to pick at his nails. Simon knows all the signs and if he were a better person he'd try to reassure him now, make him feel a little less anxious about their encounter. But he fights the urge, tightens the grip on the napkin when his hand threatens to reach out to grab Wilhelm's. He hates himself for wanting to give in so easily. Before any other body part can betray him he decides to speak instead. âSo what do you want?â
[...]
[Simon] does wonder, too, in between his moans and gasps that mirror Wilhelmâs sounds, whether Wilhelm does this with other people, whether Wilhelm has ever held anyone so close and made sure their bodies aligned perfectly. Whether Wilhelm has lost himself like this with anyone else, since. Thereâs a spark of anger at the thought of it, then a crashing wave of pride when he feels Wilhelm start to shake under him. A heady warmth, thick and sticky, when he realizes that itâs him and him alone that made Wilhelm spill into the condom. Itâs powerful enough to spur him on, to give him enough fervor to raise and lower his hips once, twice again. He messily fucks into Wilhelmâs fist and finally heâs coming in streaks that lay claim on the man thatâs turning boneless underneath him. He doesnât say any of it out loud, doesnât repeat his traitorous thoughts about wanting to be the only one to fuck Wilhelm like this. He doesnât lie about sex with Jacob, but doesnât feel the need to mention that itâs been weeks since they've done it like this.
[...]
Simonâs gotten into the habit of lying. Says heâll have to be back in his apartment soon, says he canât possibly stay overnight, that he needs to get up early for classes tomorrow. Says he canât on weekends because thatâs when Sara comes over. Or that Ayub is planning to visit him. Or that heâll have to take an extra shift at the cafĂŠ. Wilhelm never questions him. He never really pushes, simply adjusts his schedule somewhat and ends up parking his car down the alley from Simonâs apartment building on a Tuesday evening, Wednesday evening, any evening Simon hasnât given an excuse for. Itâs bitter-sweet. Thereâs something thrilling about the fact that the Crown Prince will roll up any time of the night just to get his fix of Simon, no matter the ridiculous restrictions Simon gives him. It feels good to be the one calling the shots for once.
[...]
Underneath him, Wilhelm is writhing, moaning, arching his back, doing everything to meet Simonâs thrusts, offering his body in a way Simon is not quite sure how to take in. This openness, the unguarded way he lets go while Simon is pinning him down, the desperate pleas for moremoremore that heâs uttering, tumbling over his lips and glinting in his eyes whenever he stares back up at Simon, it twists something deep inside of Simonâs soul. Wilhelm is letting him in, heâs laying out his soul, opening up his chest for Simon to reach inside. Itâs fascinating to watch and itâs scary to think about. Another thrust and Wilhelm is throwing his head back, baring his throat, pale and soft and long and claimed by the violently purple bruise Simon has sucked into the skin of it. And somehow it all wraps up in that sight, this vision. Wilhelm would let Simon tear into him, no questions asked. Would offer himself to him, bleeding.
I'm not sure who has and hasn't done this before, but I'm tagging @saynomorefic (if you want to do another one <3) @impossibleknots, @earlgrey-lateatnight, @the-impala-is-my-home, @shouldntbearevolution, @grapehyasynth, @pagegirlintraining, @wilmonsfolklore, @iwouldnevergetintofanfic @caramelpenguin, @willesworld &&&&&& can we make this about gif-art as well? Probably right? In that case, maybe @sobadbad & @books-books-smolderinglooks have any projects to share? Anyone else who would like to share one of their may-never-make-it-outs, you've been tagged as wellđđđ Tag me if you do so I can read it!
#tag game#wilmon#wilmon fanfic#wilmon snippet#yr#young royals#tales from the google docs#my fanfic#I know I overtag ppl probably............. I'm sorry kjsfakdghadfkjg I get excited about these so when I do end up doing one I go overboard#listen Simon in this is......... he's having a time okay#but......... maybe he gets better.......#may never make it out challenge
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Rich baby daddy pt. 2 (Sukuna x Reader)
i know i said this was gonna be 2 parts but i'm gonna make it 3, hopefully tmr ill be able to post the final part.
Summary: Things go downhill at the party, revealing secrets you would have never imagined
Warnings: unedited, slight reader x getou in the beginning

Getou had arrived in an all black limousine with tinted windows. It wasn't much of a shock to you considering Getou always went all out for his best friend. He stood outside of the limo, leaning against it and smirking when he saw your outfit. He was dressed in an all black tux, not buttoned up all the way which revealed a white button up shirt underneath, and black dress shoes to go with it.
Sure getou didn't see you as anything more then a friend, however he was still a man at the end of the day and couldn't block out those dirty thoughts he had of you.
The two of you had talked most of the way there and of course you and your best friend were already a little tipsy by the time the two of you arrived. After all there was a nice selection of alcohol in the limo.
You paid attention to the surroundings changing outside, you started in the city then slowly made your way to the suburbs. The houses looked beautiful, from two to the stories, and the giant yards, you could tell the neighborhood you were in was only meant for the successful people. It started to make you feel some type of way, and the liquor in your system wasn't helping at all.
"You really look amazing tonight, y/n" Getou says, giving you a lighthearted smile.
You smirk and raise an eyebrow at him, "Don't tell me youre catching feelings getou" you say jokingly, rolling your eyes.
Getou looks at you for a minute before chuckling, "of course not, after all youre Sukuna's girl and i'm not really in the mood to risk my life just for some pussy"
You roll your eyes again and cross your arms, "oh please just because i had his child doesn't make me his. I'm sure he's been sleeping with other women anyways, not that I care. And on top of that he was too busy to spend time with his family that's the reason why i left him."
"yeah i'm more then aware, you've told me story about 4 times now" Getou says, sipping his drink.
You huff and turn to look out the window. You notice how the houses are slowly fading away and now its mainly mountains. The driver turns down a narrow dirt road, following it up for about 2 minutes before the mansion comes in view.
It was huge and the exterior looked to bricks, all different shades of grey. The curtains inside the house were all pushed to the side, making it so everyone could see what was going on inside. This was the Richardson's manor.
After getting passed the gate, the driver pulls up to the front of the house where a few other cars and limos were parked. The driver parks the car and they get out, talking to one of the staff members.
Getou taps you, making you look over at him with a confused face. He smiles, pouring another shot of tequila for both you and him. Handing it to you he says, "for the road ahead"
This makes you smile. The two of you raise your glasses and clink them together before downing the shot. You shake your head in disgust as the liquor burns your throat. Your best friend on the other hand took his shot smoothly as per usual, making him laugh at you.
The driver comes around, opening the door for you and getou. Getou steps out first then offered you his hand. You take his hand and follow suit, looking up at the beautiful manor in front of you you cant help but stare in awe.
You kept your right arm linked with getou as you were greeted by the head butler, a tall man dressed in a black tailcoat with a white undershirt. He held a napkin around his arm and bowed to the two of you.
"You must be Suguru Getou, and this is..?" The butler questions, raising an eyebrow at you.
"I'm Y/n L/n. Head journalist for Gojo inc." You smile, extending your free hand to the butler. He looks shocked, almost immediately shaking your hand.
"Ah yes, Y/n! You've written the stories about the take down of Toji Fushiguro right?" He asks, actually seeming interesting.
You pull your hand away, "yup that's me!" you reply. Getou is standing there awkwardly before clearing his throat.
"it was nice meeting you ms. L/n. Please enjoy your night." The butler bows his head. Getou leads you through the large open doors, revealing the party inside There were many people from different companies and backgrounds as you expected.
Unnoticed to you, Sukuna was talking to a few business partners in the back near the bar when he seen you walk in. At first he was seriously irritated considering he had definetly told you Not to come. Sukuna had his own business to take care of tonight and he was certain he wouldn't be able to get it done with you here.
You had stuck to getou's arm almost the whole night and it was starting to come to an end. There wasn't much dirt you uncovered on anybody considering you were already tipsy when you got here and you were getting rounds of shots for you and your friend every 30 minutes it seemed.
It also seemed you were too drunk to notice your baby dad angrily sulking on a bar stool, holding his glass of vodka. Sukuna had managed to make some new business partners and also managed to get many looks from potential partner's wives making them iffy on working with him.
You had excused yourself from getou to go get a drink of water, while you were in the process of ordering your drink, suddenly there was shouting. You turn around to see a group of people with masks on entering the premises.
Your eyes widen as you notice the large guns in their hands. Shots are fired and before you can process anything you are tackled over and behind the bar.
You look up seeing your baby dad, his hand was on your shoulder as he pulled out a pistol. You were shocked to say the least. When you two were together you never would have imagined sukuna would wield a weapon. He's a business man not a mafia man, right?
Sukuna never talked to you about things like this but then again when you were together he wouldn't really mention work at all unless you pressed him about it. It's possible Sukuna wasn't the man he claimed to be.
You were extremely frightened, Sukuna seems to notice this looking down at you and smiling softly. "I told you not to come for a reason" He says quietly.
There was a lot of gunfire and shouting in the background, you were sure your eyes were about to pop out of your head. Grabbing onto Sukuna you start to let out a few tears.
"You were so vague about it how was i supposed to know people would be dying?!" you exclaim angrily.
Sukuna rubs your arm before pulling out his phone and quickly typing something. "were gonna be okay. I just need you to follow my lead." He says and you nod your head quickly.
Sukuna peaks around the bar to see what's going on, shooting his own gun a few times. You hear a few grunts and sukuna turns back to you. He quickly throws you over his shoulder before making a run for the back of the house.
The two of you are met by a black Cadillac and sukuna opens the back door before sliding the both of you in. Immediately the SUV pulls off.
You sit there in shock, even surprised to see Getou as the driver, "What the hell is going on?!" You finally exclaim, looking at Ryomen angrily.
Sukuna looks over at you and sighs, "I've been trying to keep you away from this, princess but obviously I can't anymore. You should get Yuji from your parents tomorrow and come stay with me for now."
He takes your hand in his, "There's a lot of explaining to do. I'm gonna take you back to my house for the night."
You not your head in agreement. That would be for the best and after the night you've had you definitely wanted some company.
tag list; @cassouandco @mrs--imperfect @maskedpacific @domainofmarie @thejujvtsupost @valleydoli
#sukuna smut#gojo smut#sukuna#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#sukuna ryomen smut#satoru gojo#satoru smut#suguru getou#geto suguru#getou smut#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#yuji smut#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk smut#jjk imagine#jjk oneshot
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